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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not like other children commenting on the size of ds's penis

249 replies

BocaDeTrucha · 06/08/2015 00:04

We're on holiday at the moment and ds is a chubby little 22 months old so most of the time naked. In the last 2 days I've had the following comments: "why is his willy so small?" from a little girl, about 4 years old. And today, the little boy in the bungalow next to ours who has spent 3 days playing with ds, asked " is 'Bob' a boy or a girl?" and when I replied he was a boy, the little boy said "so why doesn't he have a willy?".

Gee, it's not that small!! I got a bit peeved but dh just told me to stop being ridiculous. Am I being ridiculous?

OP posts:
ReginaFelangi · 06/08/2015 11:04

The OP's son isn't even 2 yet........

hazeyjane · 06/08/2015 11:24

Naked toddlers - fine. All this stuff about decorum etc really?!! (but I would worry about sunburn, so sunscreen, shade or uv suit better!)

Worrying about the size of your ds's penis - please have a word with your gp/hv if concerned - but there is a huge range of 'normal' wrt penis size. There is nothing wrong with being worried though!

Worrying about other children making comments - if you think there are medical concerns then I can understand why you might get upset. It might be a good idea to put a nappy or swimpants on him, but also to remember that small children really don't have any idea if they are saying something that might be hurtful - I remember dd2 went through a phase of commenting on everyone

'mum why has that man got funny hair?'
'mum why is that lady so old?'
'mum why has that man got boobies?'

etc (disclaimer I have always told her that you don't make comments on people appearance unless it is to say - 'you look nice!')

Ds is disabled, and sometimes when out we have had comments from 3/4 year olds like, 'why is that big boy in a buggy' 'why is that boy walking funny?' 'why doesn't he talk?'

Does it upset me? Yes, I don't like people pointing out things about ds that are different, and I don't want people to talk about him as though he is 'different'.

Are the children being horrible? No, they are young and they are learning about how to be decent little human beings (hopefully). Adults that make similar comments though can naff off.

LovesYoungDream · 06/08/2015 11:31

Leaving a naked baby/child run around in hot weather wouldn't bother me. I would be more concrned with attracting the attention of Weirdos/Unsavoury characters (not prudes/curious children) or the little ones getting sun burnt (lots of sun screen will solve that).
Op if you are concerned about your ds, contact your hv/gp when you get home but fwiw, I think it is a little early and could change in a year or so as he gets older. Enjoy your holiday

Hootytoot · 06/08/2015 11:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MavisG · 06/08/2015 11:33

Some sun is really important for vit D production. Although minimal exposure will be enough to prevent rickets, optimal Vit D levels are likely to be (we don't know yet) much higher. We were told any tanning is skin damage a few years back but actually some is healthy, so long as not sunburn.

Sparklingbrook · 06/08/2015 11:39

YY to put some pants on. I would worry about sunburn.

AlanPacino · 06/08/2015 11:47

weirdos/unsavoury characters

Ugh. What a horrible thing to say. Most weirdos as you so pleasantly put it are people with difficulty in social situations stemming from a range of neurological impairments from schizophrenia to asd to social anxiety and to equate them to paedophiles is despicable. Most people that would do your children harm would not appear odd. You should be ashamed of yourself.

mileend2bermondsey · 06/08/2015 11:54

Go to the beach or round a pool anywhere here and most kids under 5 are naked
I imagine that's what the peadophiles are counting on. Don't kid yourselfs if you think they aren't there. I would never let my children run around naked in a public place. There is nothing inherently wrong about it, but there are too many creeps around for it to be worth the risk. How much does bother is popping a pair of pants on cause?

mileend2bermondsey · 06/08/2015 11:55

Sorry let me retype the last sentence in English. How much bother does popping a pair of pants on cause.

hazeyjane · 06/08/2015 11:55

bloody hell!

Wolfiefan · 06/08/2015 11:58

Sparkling that's my only thought. I don't think the size of a penis in a toddler a concern. I do think getting it sunburnt is a concern. Pants on! No comments either. Simples!

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 06/08/2015 12:00

So he just wees around the shared garden?

UnsolvedMystery · 06/08/2015 12:02

Suncream on its own, is completely inadequate to protect a 2 yr old from the Spanish sun. Clothes are needed.

I really have no problem seeing small children naked as long as they are toilet trained, but don't complain if other children comment. That's what children do. They notice when other children have got bits that they haven't got or look different to the ones they have seen. They are not teasing him, they are trying to make sense of the things around them. It's natural child like curiosity. I would be far less worried about the children asking questions than I would be about some of the adults who might be around. (not that I think there are paedophiles everywhere, but I do think that places where naked children play are bound to attract them)

Fromparistoberlin73 · 06/08/2015 12:02

erm its too small to get surnburnt

don't worry OP, mine had the same. It grew !a bit

AlanPacino · 06/08/2015 12:03

Creeps!!?? I give up.

Gruntfuttock · 06/08/2015 12:06

"erm its too small to get surnburnt"

That makes no sense.

mileend2bermondsey · 06/08/2015 12:07

Creeps!!?? I give up
What, you don't think there is going to be peadophiles hanging around in areas where they know there will be an abundance of naked children - they will probably even be able to snap a sneaky pic now and then?

LilacWine7 · 06/08/2015 12:09

If he's not potty-trained, I think he should be wearing a nappy or swim-nappy in public, especially round a shared pool or on the beach.

I find it a bit off-putting to see completely naked children in public places... maybe it's my British upbringing but I just don't like it and feel it's unnecessary. Fine if it's your own garden/private pool or a quiet beach, but you do need to consider others' feelings in public. The children are probably commenting because they're not used to seeing toddlers without nappies! I've been to Spain a lot and rarely see fully naked children... IME most wear trunks or a swim-nappy even on the beaches.

passmethewineplease · 06/08/2015 12:13

Naked toddlers don't bother me. 22 month old DS was naked in the garden the other day and he isn't potty trained, I don't think it's good for them to constantly have a nappy on so I encourage nappy free time.

I doubt I'd let them be naked in the sun though I know that you say you put suncrram on him but for me it's still a risk, covering up a bit can help protect our skin that little bit more. I'd ignore the little
Girl she's just saying it as she sees that's what children that age do. Just the other day she asked if my partner had a willy as the boys at school have one. I was mortified but understood that all it is is a natural curiosity. Don't think about it anymore it's not worth it

Ark at decorum and a toddler going in the same sentence.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 06/08/2015 12:24

And as someone said above, kids are commenting cause they're not used ti seeing naked toddlers! Round here, kids that small and bugger run around in those 50spf swim suits covering them from neck to knees and all arms.

AlanPacino · 06/08/2015 12:25

Most paedophiles are not 'creepy'. People who appear creepy usually have conditions that make it difficult for them to function as well in social situations. It's appalling that people equate having such a neurological condition as a paedophile. Just say paedophile.

CultureSucksDownWords · 06/08/2015 12:25

In France this holiday most of the little children were running around naked on the beach. Too young to have been potty trained I would have thought. It seems normal over here.

I think, Boca, that the comment about it being small could have been dealt with by a disinterested reply along the lines of "well he's a little baby so all of him is small at the moment", and then moving swiftly on.

Try not to worry about it, as I'm sure what he is like now will not be what he is like when he's older. If speaking to the HV/GP will help reassure you then I would do so.

mileend2bermondsey · 06/08/2015 12:30

Alan Pacino stop twisting posts to fit into what you wish they would say.
It's appalling that people equate having such a neurological condition as a paedophile I never said that. Stop projecting.
Paedophiles are creeps. Not all creeps are paedophiles. I shouldn't need to spell this out explicitly just to satisfy you or do you just want to make some 'point' or argument?

Tenieht · 06/08/2015 12:36

God I've heard it all now . Allowing your child to expose their genitals to all and sundry and then get offended when people make comments about them. And then posting here about how offended you are! Yabu cover your child up for gods sake

UptheChimney · 06/08/2015 12:36

Good lord! Do people really find a naked child under 2 years old so objectionable?

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