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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think my SIL over stepped the mark by assuming we'll be inviting her parents to our wedding?

110 replies

lalalemon · 03/08/2015 19:38

We're getting married next September so ages away, but still feel she had no right to even ask let alone assume it will actually be happening!

She is DP's brothers girlfriend, we'd popped in to see MiL who they live with when she asked us if we'd be inviting her parents and six brothers to the wedding 'because you've not got much family have you?'

I've never met said parents/brothers, nor do I know their names! DP has met them for all of about 5 minutes! They are mighty fine chavs and live bloody miles away anyway!

Really put us on the spot, I just kind of went 'oh ermm, we've not decided who we're inviting yet' wish I'd said 'you're lucky your being invited you moron!

Obviously we won't be inviting the rest of her family!

OP posts:
BackforGood · 03/08/2015 22:17

I don't understand why you didn't just look at her in in a confused way and say, "Er, no. Why would we invite people we don't know to our wedding?" Confused

I don't see the need to insult anyone, tbh, but the words used are relatively mild insults, I see words that are much worse used on here regualrly, as if they are a badge of honour. I don't understand the outrage at this tbh.

misbegotten · 03/08/2015 22:32

lol @ the usual suspects getting their knickers so far up their arse their teeth ache over the chavvy morons, better describe them as fucking cunts next time. Get a grip people.

Welshmaenad · 03/08/2015 22:33

I can't really get worked up over 'moron'. It means 'carrot' in Welsh so it just conjures images of giant chopsy root veg.

bubblegirl67 · 03/08/2015 22:42

How do you know they are chavs and moronic if you've never met them?

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 03/08/2015 22:45

Welsh, as a fellow Cymro, I just find it hilarious that over the border people get wound up over the word 'moron'. Just imagining the glaring at a Sunday roast for daring to be so un-PC Grin.

ComposHatComesBack · 03/08/2015 22:47

yes, pray tell Mumsnetters - why is wanker ok but chav is not?

Wanker describes the specific behaviour of one person, chav is a term that demonises a group of people.

Not hard is it?

usualsuspect333 · 03/08/2015 22:52

What compos said.

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 03/08/2015 22:53

Can't 'wanker/s' demonize a group of people as well..... I mean a lot of people do it, so calling one or a collective a 'wanker' is being negative of those who can be genuine 'wankers' that do not cause other people annoyance. I mean, since when has having a wank had anything to do with being a twat?

Then again, being a twat could also be considered non politicalky cirrect language because blah blah blah insulting fish no one actually cares........

sleeponeday · 03/08/2015 22:54

OP: your BIL's girlfriend is delusional if she expects you to ask a bunch of people you don't know to your wedding, on the sole basis that they're related to the girlfriend of the groom's brother. Though I do wonder how you know they are "a bunch of mighty fine chavs" if you've never laid eyes on any of them. Confused

Don't like the word chav myself, because it is glaringly snobbish. But hey ho.

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 03/08/2015 22:54

That's obviously meant to be 'politically correct'. Sorry, my wanker phone is a chav that can't spell.

usualsuspect333 · 03/08/2015 22:54

MN has gone to the bleeding dawgs.

Where have all these stupid people come from?Anyone who uses the term professionally offended needs banning from MN.

tobysmum77 · 03/08/2015 22:55

And c* is just a word that offensively refers to the anatomy of 50% of the population Hmm . O....K....

ravenAK · 03/08/2015 22:55

'Chav' is a really unpleasant term.

I wouldn't dream of telling anyone they shouldn't use it, but I'd certainly quietly notice that they were either unashamedly & gleefully offensive, or too dim to realise why it might be problematic, & either way I'd think they were probably a bit of a knob.

Still, just because someone's a bit of a knob doesn't mean they have to invite a) the parents of someone who is frankly already only invited as a '+1' or b) 6 random imaginary brothers they've never met to their wedding.

So yanbu, OP. Don't invite them.

sleeponeday · 03/08/2015 22:56

Wanker and twat describe someone being an arsewipe.

Chav describes a working class person being an arsewipe.

The idea that people at the bottom of the social heap need a mocking, denigrating word to describe their bad conduct as somehow naffer and sadder than anyone else's sits uncomfortably.

Then again, my Aussie family cheerfully call things "bogan" which is sort of similar, except with more of a village idiot implication than a blinged up one. So it's not unique to us.

Bellebella · 03/08/2015 23:02

How on earth do you know they are mighty chavs if you have not even met them?

misses point of thread

Lavenderice · 03/08/2015 23:04

No, you don't have to invite them to your wedding.

Yes you are over-reacting.

Also, I'd think twice about calling anyone a 'chav' or a 'moron' if you don't know your there, their and they're.

MistressDeeCee · 03/08/2015 23:04

Thats 2 threads & I still can't fathom which words are acceptable & which aren't

raven you said "just because someone's a bit of a knob"

Got me thinking - couldn't "knob" be an offensive word to some? Is it likening a person to the head of a man's penis? in the same way as "dickhead? Are they one and the same thing?

The mind boggles Grin

AvaCrowder · 03/08/2015 23:11

usual I think you are right. A lot of netmums style posts at the moment.

When I worked in a pub yonks ago a horrible man at the bar used to say (about woman), 'they don't care about nothing after they get their chavs.' He meant children, or kiddlies, and he wasn't admiring maternal care.

Op don't invite the fucking cunts.

Downtheroadfirstonleft · 03/08/2015 23:11

Yanbu. Don't invite anyone that you don't want to.

Original poster
lalalemon · 04/08/2015 06:32

Probably going to get flamed all the more for this but guess I may as well defend myself now I'm being called various rather unsavoury names!

Not one member of her family work and they all sit at home playing video games on their numerous big posh tellies and some how manage to afford to go on holiday to America every year! I don't have to have met to have been told all about them!

OP posts:
Original poster
lalalemon · 04/08/2015 06:33

And anyway, I'm not inviting them, so end of discussion!

OP posts:
msgrinch · 04/08/2015 06:39

Oh it must be true then if someone else has told you about it!

Original poster
lalalemon · 04/08/2015 06:50

Well it was her that told us, so unless she's fibbing about her own family? And FIL has been inside their house once for five minutes because he had to go all the way their to pick her up when she fell out with her Mum, she couldn't catch a train like a normal person!

Basically I'm not overly fond of her because she takes advantage of my in laws massively, she lives rent free, doesn't pay for food, doesn't lift a finger round the house and now she's had her baby she barely even looks after her, my in laws have had her pretty much every night since she was born for part of the night. I know my in laws are too soft, but they don't want to make an awkward situation for their son and they have the baby's best interests at heart, so they feel they have no choice at the moment.

OP posts:
SanityClause · 04/08/2015 07:01

There is no need to invite anyone you don't know to your wedding whether they be murderers or the pope.

But there is no need to demonise all working class people because you don't like your "SIL's" relatives.

M'kay?

Ilovecrapcrafts · 04/08/2015 07:03

Big tvs haven't been posh for about 10 years.