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Original poster

To think my SIL over stepped the mark by assuming we'll be inviting her parents to our wedding?

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lalalemon · 03/08/2015 19:38

We're getting married next September so ages away, but still feel she had no right to even ask let alone assume it will actually be happening!

She is DP's brothers girlfriend, we'd popped in to see MiL who they live with when she asked us if we'd be inviting her parents and six brothers to the wedding 'because you've not got much family have you?'

I've never met said parents/brothers, nor do I know their names! DP has met them for all of about 5 minutes! They are mighty fine chavs and live bloody miles away anyway!

Really put us on the spot, I just kind of went 'oh ermm, we've not decided who we're inviting yet' wish I'd said 'you're lucky your being invited you moron!

Obviously we won't be inviting the rest of her family!

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MNHQ

YetAnotherHelenMumsnet · 03/08/2015 20:15

Hi all,
We have a bit of a prepared answer for when the word 'moron' is reported, just because it has come up before (indeed we are literally about to post it on another thread, it arises so often). So here we go...

Our position on 'moron' isn't black and white. You may remember from this thread (www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/a2027525-Disablist-language-and-deletions?msgid=45884254#45884254), when we had a large on-board discussion specifically about disablist language, there was actually no consensus at all about 'moron' (obviously when clearly not used in an SN-related context), with lots of posters saying they didn't actually think it was particularly problematic.

Our approach to deletions is based on Justine's summary on that thread: are they terms currently, or very recently, used in an ordinary descriptive sense about people with disabilities; and/or are they terms which get used in an unpleasant way by rude or bigoted people to directly demean and belittle people with disabilities.

That thread seemed to us to show that MNers themselves didn't feel that 'moron' necessarily fell into either category. So we take it on a case-by-case basis and only delete if it seems to us to be likely to be interpreted as a deliberately disablist term - which we really don't think is the case in this context. Chav isn't nice either, of course, but if we start deleting everything that isn't nice, well, who knows where we will end up?

Hope that clears things up a bit and we're sorry if our position has seemed a bit muddled - the area of disablist language is a truly thorny one and for better or worse we think it's best to be guided by the consensus that emerged from that thread.

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