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Not feeding guests?

424 replies

ReginaFelangi · 02/08/2015 21:14

Just wondering if I ABU.

Some friends are throwing a party. It's a big anniversary at a village hall and has been organised for months. They have lots of friends going. Most are having to travel quite a long distance and have booked hotels at £60+ for the night.

A few weeks back guests were told no drinks would be provided. Now it's clear they're not providing any food either.

I'm not really sure what the point is anymore. I would never arrange a party with no food or drinks! Do you think this is unreasonable?

OP posts:
Bunbaker · 02/08/2015 22:18

Are they related to the person that had a party and charged for the crisps?

ReginaFelangi · 02/08/2015 22:19

It's true. If I can work out how to anonymise the email message I'll post it up.

OP posts:
MaryBerrysEyelashes · 02/08/2015 22:20

i bet you their marriage is in crisis

ReginaFelangi · 02/08/2015 22:21

I'd like to tell them that I think they should be paying for us to have a meal at the very least but suspect we'd get offered a Tesco meal deal or something.

OP posts:
sleeponeday · 02/08/2015 22:23

My FIL's family are keen on this sort of party except they all like the chipping in bit. The men all turn up with carrier bags full of ale to the hired village hall and all the women put on a lovely spread with military precision. "Rene, you're bringing the ham rolls, Doris is doing her prawn vol au vents."

Yeah, been to a wake like that. In fairness, the late departed wasn't about to cater. And a lovely wedding when we were all youngish, and everyone turned up with their party piece dish and a nice bottle or two. That's a bit different, though - clarity of expectations, and so on.

If the couple here had asked people to bring a dish instead of an anniversary present, and provided some plonk, I'm sure nobody would mind. Most would probably also bring a bottle.

ReginaFelangi · 02/08/2015 22:23

They are expecting lots of bottles of nice champagne as gifts I've heard as well.

OP posts:
LavenderRain · 02/08/2015 22:24

DH went to a 50th birthday party. I was working thank goodness
It was held in the local sports club which had a paying bar, all good so far.....
NO food was served at all Shock
DH said everyone was buying crisps and peanuts from the bar.
He got a chinese on his way home.
He bought the bloke an expensive bottle of whiskey too!

curiouslyorange · 02/08/2015 22:24

I've had a similar birthday invitation courtesy of my boyfriend's cousin who lives a couple of hours away. The beautifully printed card stated NO FOOD OR DRINK WILL BE PROVIDED (capital letters, lest we not notice). It was accompanied by a 'charming' poem saying that gifts of cash were expected on the night.

We didn't go because the cousin is a knob.

Agree with PPS- doesn't sound much like a party to me.

sleeponeday · 02/08/2015 22:25

It could be worse - I remember a thread about a woman who was charging £25 a head to attend a 1st birthday party, the cost only mentioned after acceptance. It also applied in full to kids of the asked families.

MN doesn't half open your eyes to the grabbiness in this world.

Only1scoop · 02/08/2015 22:26

I remember that one....

Had to be a wind up

BettyCatKitten · 02/08/2015 22:26

they're expecting lots of nice champagne as gifts
Cheeky fuckers
I'd give them a small bottle of lambrini.

AdeleDazeem · 02/08/2015 22:27

Yeah I'm sitting squarely in the 'it's a bit odd Hmm ' group. With my lil bag of popcorn.

Come celebrate our anniversary!!
Village Hall 60 miles away
BYO food
BYO drink
BYO chair probably

Entertainment on the night!!

We've had a crap XX years, come celebrate that with us at our crap party! Some crisps may be provided. Ready Salted. Well, BYO salt. Yay!

sleeponeday · 02/08/2015 22:27

They are expecting lots of bottles of nice champagne as gifts I've heard as well.

I dare someone to start opening them at the event and passing glasses round.

MaryBerrysEyelashes · 02/08/2015 22:28

i once went to what i thought was a DP to find it was drinks and nibbles, I fair INHALED the olives

woodhill · 02/08/2015 22:30

I think it is awful to host a part, expect a gift but not provide any refreshments or food. I have beennto a couple like that. awful

MrsHathaway · 02/08/2015 22:31

We hired the village hall for a thing last year. We had it basically all day and with the projector and sound system and so on it was under £100 all in.

The organising is finding enough chumps to agree to go. I doubt OP's DH will be the only entertainment. They'll have found someone to sing to a guitar and someone's teenager will do street dance.

You always always provide food for a party. I'd expect to pay minimum £3-5 per guest for nibbles even. But then it's actually written into my will that my funeral must be overcatered.

OVienna · 02/08/2015 22:31

Who is throwing all of these no food and drink parties?! I need more exiles to understand this.

OVienna · 02/08/2015 22:32


TheFormidableMrsC · 02/08/2015 22:33

I did go to a wedding once, evening only, where all the evening guests arrived on time (7 pm) and were seated in the bar until the "speeches finished". 3 hours later we were all still there. I would say 50% of us left to go and get something to eat as it was by now 10 pm and no sign of the speeches ending. By the time the evening guests were allowed into the wedding reception we were all absolutely plastered and the buffet had been demolished. I think it was just bad organisation but surely, if you know you're having evening guests, you wouldn't just forget they were sitting out there...maybe it's just me...Hmm

MaryBerrysEyelashes · 02/08/2015 22:36

i went to a wedding once in a stately home kind of compound where the wedding was at 12
it was over by 12.30
there was then a blessing at say 1pm

then NADA till 4.30pm. there were about 2 canapes each. H was about to go to the local garage for a Ginsters

Hellion7433 · 02/08/2015 22:37

I've been to a few cheap dos like this and actually we had great fun. Just ate beforehand and bought our own booze and danced and danced with tons of mates. Utter hoot!

MaryBerrysEyelashes · 02/08/2015 22:38

i think its cheap

Hellion7433 · 02/08/2015 22:39

Can you ask them what they've got planned for food?

Collaborate · 02/08/2015 22:39

You should all book in to local restaurants (are there any?) at various points of the evening so you can at least eat (especially those who have travelled a long distance). Self-catering isn't really an option. Then see how they like it when half the guests piss off for a couple of hours at 8pm and the other half at 9pm.

iwanttogotothechaletschool · 02/08/2015 22:44

OP you have to go, you can give us live updates on the night. This party has the potential l to be mumsnet gold.

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