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AIBU?

Not feeding guests?

424 replies

ReginaFelangi · 02/08/2015 21:14

Just wondering if I ABU.

Some friends are throwing a party. It's a big anniversary at a village hall and has been organised for months. They have lots of friends going. Most are having to travel quite a long distance and have booked hotels at £60+ for the night.

A few weeks back guests were told no drinks would be provided. Now it's clear they're not providing any food either.

I'm not really sure what the point is anymore. I would never arrange a party with no food or drinks! Do you think this is unreasonable?

OP posts:

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Charley50 · 02/08/2015 21:32

Tell him to be careful; he might get eaten by hungry guests!!!

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CrystalCove · 02/08/2015 21:33

Well I don't think it's unreasonable not to provide drinks, we hired a pop up bar for my DHs 40th in our local hall last year so people could buy drinks but I did put the usual snacks on the tables and spent a small fortune doing a huge buffet including a whole salmon which was wolfed down - there is no way it's right not to provide food!!! Don't get it.

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WhoNickedMyName · 02/08/2015 21:34

Your friends aren't throwing a party. They've arranged a gathering in a village hall. Even the entertainment is being provided for free.

I hope for their sakes they have made it very clear to all those invited that there will be no food or drink provided, so that the invitees can tell them to stick it up their arses decide whether they will attend, otherwise these cheapskates are going to find themselves with far fewer friends after the event.

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thatstoast · 02/08/2015 21:34

Can he impersonate a buffet?

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Only1scoop · 02/08/2015 21:35

Sounds a blast.... can we all come?

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WhoNickedMyName · 02/08/2015 21:36

Just to be clear, not providing drunks is fine, but not even providing the means to purchase drinks? That's not on.

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youarekiddingme · 02/08/2015 21:36

Can he impersonate food and drink?

I agree it's just a meeting in a village hall to watch an entertainer.

Will there be music? Disco? Lights?

I think you'll cut the atmosphere in that room with a knife!

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Dunnakos · 02/08/2015 21:37

Ugh, we went to a 50th like this. didn't eat much beforehand as assumed we would eat at the party. There was a bar, but it was buy your own drinks. No food. people were sort of waiting and waiting and waiting. At about ten o'clock they brought out a normal sized birthday cake and cut it into slices, so about ten people could have a bit of cake. Nobody else had anything, not even crips or nibbles, and no warning so people would know to bring their own.

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FrizzyPig · 02/08/2015 21:37

I'm sure there was a similar thread a while ago by the organiser of a very similar event. I think the OP was asking advice about how to let her guests know that 'bring a bottle' actually meant that there would be absolutely nothing provided by her.

MN was divided into two groups- those who told the OP to have a smaller gathering with less people that she could afford to feed and water - and - those who told the OP it was a great idea and completely the norm in their circles, and that any one who was a good friend would be happy to turn up.

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sleeponeday · 02/08/2015 21:37

Bloody hell. That's so rude. No matter how skint you are you provide food - even if you have to ask people to bring a bottle. If you can't afford that, then you can't afford a party.

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BitchBags · 02/08/2015 21:38

Yanbu! I wouldn't go and I would explain why. It doesn't sound much fun at all!

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MarchLikeAnAnt · 02/08/2015 21:38

Don't go. I went to a party () like that once, no food, no drinks etc. It was shit.I lasted 30 mins until I fuck off to KFC

(The people throwing the party were vegan/peace studies type people so it felt especially good to be eating a nice bit of chicken )

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AboutTimeIChangedMyNameAgain · 02/08/2015 21:38

That's not a party! It's a room with some people in it.

Fucking stingy.

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sleeponeday · 02/08/2015 21:38

Unless it's a small event with good friends, and you ask them to bring a dish and a bottle each - went to a wedding like that and it was actually really lovely. But they asked for that instead of a present, which isn't really the same thing.

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Only1scoop · 02/08/2015 21:38

Got visions of you all sitting Mr Bean style on wooden crates....sharing a twiglet

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Icimoi · 02/08/2015 21:39

I find that completely bizarre. I've never come across anything like this, thank goodness. I would have to be extremely good friends with someone to spend money on attending a so-called celebration for which I had to bring my own drink and food and would only be provided with a few crisps, and I'm really not too sure how long I would remain friends with them.

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Rubgyshapedlegs · 02/08/2015 21:39

I remember that thread too and it really polarised into I suspect age brackets. At 20 Id have brought cider with me abd picked up a kebab. At pushing 50, my expectations are rather higher.

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Floggingmolly · 02/08/2015 21:39

can he impersonate a buffet?.

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WienerDiva · 02/08/2015 21:40

I'm in the "the isn't my norm" group. But there could be a silver lining?!

Rather than eating food that the hosts have laid on that you might not even feed to your dog, you can take whatever you fancy (or order in a pizza if you're feeling brave) and drink whatever you want to drink rather than the dodgy bottle of Campari that's been sitting in Aunt Millicent's sideboard since 1974.

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LovelySpread · 02/08/2015 21:41

My FIL's family are keen on this sort of party except they all like the chipping in bit. The men all turn up with carrier bags full of ale to the hired village hall and all the women put on a lovely spread with military precision. "Rene, you're bringing the ham rolls, Doris is doing her prawn vol au vents."

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Baddz · 02/08/2015 21:44

How utterly bizarre!
It's obvious isn't it?
One of the guests will be some sort of ritual sacrifice.
It'll probably go all whicker man ????

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Floggingmolly · 02/08/2015 21:44

But you can also do that in the comfort of your own home, Weiner...
Being summoned hundreds of miles and expected to shell out for a hotel so you can gather in a village hall like a lot of cub scouts is really odd.
Are they expecting gifts, op?

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Only1scoop · 02/08/2015 21:44

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WhoNickedMyName · 02/08/2015 21:47

Even the "bring a bottle" parties I've been to, the hosts have provided soft drinks, mixers, a couple of boxes of cheap wine, glasses, and some food.

Anything less is just incredibly stingy and rude.

You must go though, and then come back and tell us all about it. Perhaps take a large cool box packed with sandwiches and sausage rolls, you'll be the most popular person there.

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tellmemore1982 · 02/08/2015 21:48

The only idea which could be worse than this would be selling tickets to their own party which they'd use the money from to fund food and drinks.

Oh wait... The outcome's the same except nobody will be prepared for it.

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