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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - Dogs Off Lead

194 replies

PrincessOfChina · 31/07/2015 14:30

So, in the park this PM. Small terrier type dog off lead with lady and two children. We're walking past (DS in pram and DD on scooter) and the dog leaves it's owner and circles DD on her scooter. I tell her to stay still and assume the owner will remove the dog so we can continue. She slowly ambles over by which time the dog is jumping up at DD (the dog is her height when upright).

Was I unreasonable to yell "Get your dog away from my daughter right now"? She seemed to think I was being unreasonable as the dog "didn't bite her did it?".

How should I react in future? I didn't move to hastily to grab DD as I didn't want to aggrevate the dog which wasn't showing signs of biting imminently.

OP posts:
BadLad · 01/08/2015 15:08

I hate dogs. Any dog that runs up to me is likely to get a doc marten in the face.

I don't want to do that, of course. What I want is for dog owners to keep their dogs on leads so the dogs can't come near me.

If you don't do that, then don't complain when your mutt gets booted across the park.

StarsInTheNightSky · 01/08/2015 16:46

Sadly if a dog is genuinely intent on attacking, depending on its size there is nothing that can be done except try to escape/minimise damage. I have watched a giant breed dog attack five very reputable behaviorists on five different occasions, four of them managed to get out of the training enclosure needing stitches but otherwise OK. The fifth I pulled out of the enclosure myself, she recovered too (I didn't suffer a scratch). It was grim to watch. As for the people saying they'd boot the dog, this particular one would have torn your leg off.
Coincedentally, some time down the road, that same dog is currently snoozing at my feet having never show an ounce of aggression towards us.
That is what happens when anyone underestimates any animal, and that is why all of my dogs are highly trained and on lead at all times in public. You never know what a particular dogs triggers are, hence why I feel that all dogs should be trained not to approach.

squizita · 01/08/2015 16:55

Stars YY every dog lover I know says the same as you.
But online there seems to be a core of people who think dogs are robots and anyone - especially children - who gets bitten has done something silly.
They often then think anyone who thinks otherwise hates dogs.

As I mentioned in a PP a large breed can injure someone in play (eg jumping up to greet near steps) so owners need to be responsible.
Also a small breed can hurt a child or smaller person badly - or get killed/hurt by a larger dog or someone "booting" them. Sad

maybebabybee · 01/08/2015 16:58

Christ alive, this topic has seriously been done to death on mumsnet.

I actually like dogs coming up to me, but I am in a minority. YANBU but IMO you were being a bit hysterical.

Egosumquisum · 01/08/2015 17:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StarsInTheNightSky · 01/08/2015 17:03

squizita I agree 100%, and I'm sorry to hear you were attacked, there are a lot of irresponsible and dangerous owners out there Sad. Any animal can snap, I make sure that I know my dogs inside out, their behaviours, their tiny and subtle mood indicators, but I'm still extremely vigilant, I have three giant breed, potentially highly dangerous dogs, its my responsibility to ensure that their behaviour is appropriate.

maybebabybee · 01/08/2015 17:05

Also sometimes people utterly over react to dogs off leads. I was once walking my (old, slow) dog in a big stretch of greenery near my house. She is well trained and was off lead (also she won't wee if she's on lead). We walked past a group of people who started getting huffy about her not being on the lead. She could not have been less interested in them if she tried.

If other people have dog phobias then that's not nice for them but unless my dog jumps up at them that is not my problem. I have a spider phobia and I have to deal with them every day. Just have to live with it.

StarsInTheNightSky · 01/08/2015 17:09

Ego not all dogs sadly. My three hate strangers and strange dogs, and once they've locked onto something, absolutely nothing will stop them or distract them, except my command for them to stand down, which they obey immediately. To them, nothing is more important than eliminating the supposed threat to me, DS or DH, the more you try to distract them, the greater the threat they see you as. Pretending to throw something would be seen as lashing out at them - not a good idea to try that with dogs as it will only make some of them angrier. It is such a difficult issue though.

All that said, my dogs are immaculately behaved, never approach anyone and never jump us/bounce around or anything of the sort.

Egosumquisum · 01/08/2015 17:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StarsInTheNightSky · 01/08/2015 17:16

Ego well, we do have the fluffy cat too... GrinSeriously though, where we are in the world, and our circumstances mean that we need three large dogs capable of protecting us, and they are complete cuddle monsters with DH, DS and I, to the point of which they try to get in the bath with me - not what you want from an eighteen stone fluffy animal! Also sadly they are ridiculously pampered and lavishly fed, that must be where I'm going wrong!

Happy36 · 01/08/2015 18:30

squizita I agree with you about some people believing that dogs will only attack someone who has done something wrong even though as a five year old I witnessed quite the opposite at close range (a dog attacked my friend who was playing on a swing; she had not even seen the dog before it jumped on her and bit her). I have met these people in real life as well as online and one of them is my husband. :l

In a similar way, when a dog runs up to me and I look utterly petrified, it really doesn´t reassure me when the owner does nothing but tell me, "He´s just being friendly." I´d rather they ran over and removed the dog.

As I said before, I avoid parks as much as possible and other places where dogs are likely to be off their leads, and cross the street to avoid big dogs.

Summerwood1 · 01/08/2015 19:05

If a child shows fear by running around and screaming a dog may think the child is playing which can make the situation worse. Don't show your child that you are afraid also.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 01/08/2015 20:06

Badlad, were you to commit such a wanton act of cruelty to my valuable much loved pedigree mutt you would hardly be surprised when you then got my foot up your arse, would you? What a stupid thing to say. Are you usually so goady?

BadLad · 01/08/2015 23:28

I have and

BadLad · 01/08/2015 23:32

It would be your stupid fault for allowing your dog to come near someone who doesn't like dogs. Keep it on the lead, and it won't happen. The thought of you daring to kick me is so laughable that the less said about it the better.

yummumto3girls · 02/08/2015 00:13

I think everyone has lost the point of the original post. Yes the dog should not have jumped up and yes the owner should have called it away quicker, but OP you overreacted because you are afraid of dogs and are now passing that on to your children. As parents we have a responsibility to teach our children about how to behave around dogs, not to approach them without asking the owner, not mistreating them etc we also have a responsibility of teaching them to not be afraid of dogs unnecessarily. I think you could have made the situation less stressful for your DD by asking the owner politely to put their dog on the lead and then asking if your DD could say hello nicely to get her used to dogs. Unfortunately dogs are here to stay and growing up with a fear of them, as many on here are, really is not going to help your children.

Yes owners should call their dogs away, but reality is regardless of everyone's opinions for and against dogs and good/bad owners, dogs will be off leads and some do want to say hello and 99% will be friendly, unlike a lot of people!!

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 02/08/2015 00:30

Yep, just as I thought. Goady twat. And therefore instantly dismissed. Phew.

coffeetofunction · 02/08/2015 00:38

as a dog owner I make sure my dog is under control, however as I am human sometimes I loose concentration & before I know it she is fussing around others.

I'd be really offended if you spoke to me like that, however a good pet owner I'd try to ensure I never found my self in that situation

BadLad · 02/08/2015 00:43

Good for you. Similarly I've dismissed you as an idiot.

nokidshere · 02/08/2015 02:46

I've been terrified of dogs all my life (and Of most 4 legged creatures, oh of snakes and worms too, and don't get me started on cows...) where was I .. Oh yes children and fear, my two (now teenagers) have never been scared of animals because of my fear. I've never hidden it from them, they know it's itrational and they take great delight in sending me texts with pictures of themselves with all manner of creatures (including massive snakes wrapped round their necks SadSad

All dogs should be on leads at all times in public places as far as I am concerned. It works perfectly well in Rekyjavik!!

maybebabybee · 02/08/2015 07:31

If you kicked a dog I suppose then you'd moan if it bit you. Frankly I'd rather have more dogs and less you, Badlad :)

Nokids I'm sorry about your phobia but you do recognise that it's your problem and really not up to responsible dog owners to keep well trained dogs on leads all the time?

It's not fair for dogs to be on leads all the time IMO. Like I said before many wont go to the toilet on a lead. And they like to run around. Just like people do.

BadLad · 02/08/2015 08:12

If you kicked a dog I suppose then you'd moan if it bit you.

Of course I would. It would be the owners fault for not keeping it away from me.

Frankly I'd rather have more dogs and less you, Badlad

I'd rather have fewer morons who don't realise some people hate having animals running around them, so the feeling is entirely mutual.

maybebabybee · 02/08/2015 08:32

Are you seriously saying you'd kick any dog that comes near you even if said dog isn't even remotely interested in you?

If so, you need a good dose of chill the fuck out and get over yourself, HTH.

BadLad · 02/08/2015 08:45

Obviously it depends what you mean by near me, exactly. A dog running around my feet, and in particular, jumping up at me, which I absolutely hate, gets helped on its way away from me.

There's a beach for dogs to be exercised near where I live, to which, naturally, I never go near. If I see people with dogs, especially off the leads, I'll keep away from them as much as I can, hopefully putting a road between me in the dog. Because I don't want to hurt any dogs or animals.

But I hate animals around my feet, in particular ones which can bite. I've never had a pet, never want one and never do anything I can help which puts me near animals.

Dog owners who don't think they should afford me the courtesy of keeping their dogs away from me are the ones who need to get over themselves.

maybebabybee · 02/08/2015 08:50

Christ alive, you really do need that dose of chill out, don't you!