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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU - Dogs Off Lead

194 replies

PrincessOfChina · 31/07/2015 14:30

So, in the park this PM. Small terrier type dog off lead with lady and two children. We're walking past (DS in pram and DD on scooter) and the dog leaves it's owner and circles DD on her scooter. I tell her to stay still and assume the owner will remove the dog so we can continue. She slowly ambles over by which time the dog is jumping up at DD (the dog is her height when upright).

Was I unreasonable to yell "Get your dog away from my daughter right now"? She seemed to think I was being unreasonable as the dog "didn't bite her did it?".

How should I react in future? I didn't move to hastily to grab DD as I didn't want to aggrevate the dog which wasn't showing signs of biting imminently.

OP posts:

lutra3d · 31/07/2015 17:07

Where is the dog bashing?
Some posters are recounting personal accounts which describe being bothered by dogs.

SnapesCapes · 31/07/2015 17:09

The owner has a responsibility to be in control of their dog at all times. If that means keeping the dog on a lead in public places, then so be it. I'd go bezerk if a dog jumped at my children, and I have a (jumpy bugger of a) spaniel so I'm hardly likely to dog-bash. My dog has been taught to leave people alone. If they approach her, she returns to me and waits for me to say it's fine before she goes to them. It's common sense to treat unknown dogs with caution.

Stripeysocksarecool · 31/07/2015 21:25

It is a pity that there are too many irresponsible dog owners. I think there is quite a strong case for bringing in legislation to say that dogs have to be on leads in public at all times, other than in designated dog areas.

I also really like the idea of the system they have in some parts of Germany where all dogs must be microchipped and a dna sample collected. Poo which is not picked up is then dna tested and the owner given a massive fine. The system pays for itself because the fines are high.

UrethraFranklin1 · 31/07/2015 21:53

It's a sad world because not everyone wants your mutt jumping on them or running around them?
That shit is why people don't like dog owners. You love your animal, grand, knock yourself out. Nobody else does, so keep it to yourself.

Original poster

PrincessOfChina · 31/07/2015 21:58

Thanks all. I'm glad I wasn't the crazy lady! Our good friends have just got a puppy so I'm keen for DD to be comfortable around it as I'm not great with dogs (despite my parents getting one as soon as I left home!). Was worried this might have bothered her but she's ok.

What's the best thing to do in future? Should I have grabbed DD away or was standing still the best thing to do? Obviously the owner wasn't planning on doing anything about it so what would be the best way to "rescue" a child in this situation?

OP posts:

sweetkitty · 31/07/2015 21:59

I have a large breed dog, I totally understand she might appear scary to other people especially children. She's normally only off lead in places children very rarely are and if I see any approaching I'll either put her back on lead or hold her harness until they pass. My DC adore dogs and would welcome a dog jumping at them.

ToysRLuv · 31/07/2015 22:01

Yanbu, op. Also, I have to say, in the case of bigger dogs especially, I have felt unsafe when the dogs basically pull/drag their humans along towards me or DS, and I wonder what would happen if the owner's hand slips, the lead breaks or the owner isn't strong enough to hold the dog(s)? IMO all dogs should be trained to stay at their owner's side regardless of whether they are on a lead or not. And they should always be on a lead in public areas, unless recall is absolutely perfect.

Stripeysocksarecool · 31/07/2015 22:03

That's nice that your children like dogs jumping all over them sweetkitty. Many people of all ages don't welcome any sort of attention from dogs so it really is up to dog owners to keep their dogs under control and away from other people when in a public space.

ThisNameIsBetterThanMyRealOne · 31/07/2015 22:05

When the dog first came over it would have helped if you said to the owner "Call your dog away please!"

Wrong, wrong, WRONG!

The dog should not have even had a chance to go over, it should have been on a lead and under control.

sweetkitty · 31/07/2015 22:11

Yes I totally agree not all children are like that.

My dog isn't a friendly with strangers dog, she adores her family but cannot be bothered with strangers so rarely goes up to them. If we're out on a path like yesterday group of children on scooters, I know she wouldn't be bothered with them but they don't so I called her back and popped her on the lead more for the children to feel safe.

The5DayChicken · 31/07/2015 22:20

OP, RE your question on how to deal in the future...

If that particular situation crops up again, I'd personally calmly step in between your DD and the dog, with your back facing the dog, then pick up your DD as a precaution. Then try to keep your back towards the dog while calling the owner. It doesn't sound like this terrier was aggressive, but even so, turning your back to it is best as it ensures that no positive feedback is given for its antisocial behaviour. And of course, if a dog does become aggressive, your back is better than DD's face.

The5DayChicken · 31/07/2015 22:29

(Though I'm sure your back is lovely! )

StarsInTheNightSky · 31/07/2015 22:30

YANBU. I have three giant breed dogs, all of which are extremely unfriendly towards strangers and other dogs (children they patiently tolerate). They would never approach other people or dogs, and they don't want to be approached either (they hate being touched by strangers and really hate other dogs getting close).
We're not in the UK and its very rare that I walk them anywhere other than our own land, but I have come across owners who just don't care about controlling their dogs. It's so frustrating and can be really upsetting for children, people with disabilities, people who don't like dogs, people who have their own dogs but dont like other peoples' dogs (me), the list goes on. I personally feel that all dogs should be trained never to approach unless the approach is invited.

My dogs are highly trained and are taught to lie silently by my feet (on lead) if other people or children are near us when we're out and about. They are NEVER off lead in public either. They are huge dogs and can be intimidating, so unless there's an imminent threat they know that they have to lie quietly, surely that's just manners?!

MermaidLion · 31/07/2015 22:33

It's a good idea, even if you don't have dogs, to teach your children how to be safe if they're approached by them. This site is excellent:

liamjperkfoundation.org/

PtolemysNeedle · 31/07/2015 22:37

The dog owner was unreasonable to allow her dog to jump up at a child without calling it away and apologising, but it sounds to me like you were quite aggressive with what you said as well.

My dog doesn't jump up at people, bit he will sometimes end up close to other people when he's out for a run. It's never been a problem and I'm not going to stop my dog from being allowed a run just because a minority of people don't want to be anywhere near a dog in a park that is mostly used by dog walkers.

He's not big, aggressive or jumpy. If there's a problem then it's because of what's going on inside other people's heads, not because a little dog is running about in a park.

BillyDaveysDaughter · 31/07/2015 22:39

YANBU at all. My dog is a small terrier but she's cranky and unpredictable (mainly due to chronic spinal pain) - never in a million years would I let her approach anyone, and especially not a child. She can't walk far anymore, but wherever we go she is on a two point harness and lead and may even be muzzled.

But even if a dog is friendly, is just bad form and totally ignorant to let it roam around off lead without paying attention. I only wish I could do that with mine!

Egosumquisum · 31/07/2015 22:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PtolemysNeedle · 31/07/2015 22:50

Of course I cab understand why some people at scared of dogs, and if I was aware that someone was scared of dogs then I'd call my dog away from them.

All I'm saying is in response to people that seem to think all dogs should be on a lead constantly is that I'm not prepared to prevent my dog from getting some exercise on the off chance he might run past someone that is scared.

The5DayChicken · 31/07/2015 23:01

I don't think anybody is saying that dogs who 'end up close to people' should always be on a lead to prevent this. We're talking specifically about dogs who approach other people and dogs. It doesn't sound like your dog is in this category Ptolemy.

The5DayChicken · 31/07/2015 23:02

(realises that some people are actually saying that )

Well, I certainly don't think dogs who don't approach and do have good recall skills are a problem.

Stripeysocksarecool · 31/07/2015 23:07

Ptolemy,I have no problem with people choosing to have dogs - everyone is different and all that. But when your dog impacts on another person in any way you really need to accept responsibility. Surely it's not so hard to just keep your dog away from people when out in public?

Mermaid, why should anyone have to learn to be safe from dogs? Surely if dogs aren't safe that is the owners problem, not anyone else's? It's not as if dogs are wild animals roaming free that we have to learn to defend ourselves from. It is dog owners who need to be educated, not the rest of us.

MermaidLion · 31/07/2015 23:29

Stripey I totally agree. However, unless you have a solution that would curb irresponsible dog owners letting their dogs run up to your children overnight, it might be helpful to have a way to keep your children safe.

People shouldn't speed in built up areas. I still teach my children how to cross roads safely.

JointheJoyride · 31/07/2015 23:34

It's like groundhog day with these threads. Don't people realise that the responsible dog owners hate the irresponsible ones. They're the ones who spoil it for me to be able to take mine to an event with my family, because some dicks won't control theirs, or into a park where my kid is playing, because some dicks don't pick up after theirs. We, by we I mean the ones who are never subject to threads, are just as affected as the people who faint if a dog breathes near the pram or if a dog wildly out of control harasses a child for his ice cream. Campaign with your local council for better dog control order enforcement. I do and I own a massive dog who is trained better than my 12 yo is

Stripeysocksarecool · 31/07/2015 23:35

I do have a solution mermaid ( though probably not one that would be popular with dog owners). It should be a legal requirement that dogs in public places are on leads at all times, except when in a specially designated dog zone.

It's not so long ago that most people weren't too bothered about wearing seat belts, now (nearly) everyone does. Dog owners would get used to keeping their dogs on leads in the same way until it became the norm. The rest off us could then enjoy parks etc in peace

JointheJoyride · 31/07/2015 23:42

See I have to disagree about leads. Mine is fine off lead because he's trained. It takes a word and he's at my heel. I could equally have a big strong untrained dog on a lead and be flat on my face if he decided to go off after a squirrel/other dog etc. It isn't the lead that matters it is the responsible training and that shouldn't be an option. Owning a dog NEEDS to be more difficult.

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