To ask how on earth people get their small DC to sleep at a reasonable time?

[PerkyBoots]

I have 2 DC, they are 3 and 1, I just can't seem to get them to sleep at a reasonable time, it was around 9.30pm tonight. They wind each other up and seem to just want to play! I've heard of others getting their kids to sleep by 7pm or earlier. Does this really happen and how? If anyone would like to share their secrets in this regard, I'd be VERY grateful. Thank you.

We love it too! We are going out tonight for a family meal with nanny, kids will be up late I suspect. It must be awful to never be able to deviate from the routine - that would drive me nuts.

I'm having a nice bulgur wheat salad with halloumi

I'd hate to have rigid children - thankfully mine, being usually well rested and having had a good nights sleep adapted really well to the odd late night.

I used to stagger bedtimes by half an hour when they all shared and most of the time once they were asleep they stayed asleep. Moved when they were 6, 3 and 1 and younger 2 were still napping so was probably lucky in terms of sleep habits. (My 11 and 6 yo are generally still awake at 10 reading nowadays!)

I have 2 DC and they both had a set bedtime of 7 PM (now bit later as they've got older). We had a routine of bath, last feed, bed (tea, bath, bed as they grew up) with a bedtime story and lights out at 7. Separate rooms and totally non negotiable (I needed a glass of wine by then....).

Worked very well for us, though I expect that's due to them being easy sleepers.

Mine too ghosty! That salad sounds delicious. I've never had halloumi - what is it??

Yes Pengweng DD is the same with baths.

Even double blackout on her window doesn't make her body think it's dark during the summer.

lovely grilled cheese it's yummy

We cancel the bedtime routine for special events, holidays, and so on. Sometimes it's cancelled for shits and giggles, last Friday we cancelled it and had a pizza/DVD night, the kids were all crashed on the sofa by 10pm so we carried them up to their beds and then had a couple of hours just us. If we're going out for a meal we keep them up, but they're not typical nights and on a typical night we have a routine.

Mmm I'm assuming most supermarkets have it? I'm going to try it

When are they up in the morning?

Mine are a nightmare at the moment, my son was still awake at 11pm last night. Mine are 6 and 8 (actually 5 and 7 but they are about to have birthdays). But they are sleeping in till 9:30 in the morning. They have my "night owl" body clock which becomes the default when there is no school etc. Even during the school year they have a tendency to jeff around and not sleep then be tired in the morning. Its going to be HELL getting them back into a routine when school goes back! But the summer holidays are long so I just go with it.

I know if I woke them up at 7am every morning they'd settle into a routine of sleeping earlier. But then I don't get my lie-in

Anyhoos, a lot of the people I know who have little kids who are asleep at 7pm every night have very "busy" lives and are up at 6am to do the horses or get ready for work and go to nursery and things like that - they are early people, busy people, who then fall into bed exhausted at night.

And the price they pay, I suppose is to have early risers, which is actually quite convenient if you are also one, or if you have somewhere to go. Some people are dropping their dressed, breakfasted children off at Childminders around the time that mine are waking up during the school year! There's the difference. So they have an "easy" lifestyle but tend to be a little restless a little later.

Same here Bearfrills. I would hate to have to decline an invite or leave somewhere early just to put dc to bed. As this isn't a regular occurrence we just have a routine for the other "normal" days and enjoy ourselves when we get the chance.

Mine cope fine with a late night, they don't sleep in but will just go to bed earlier the next night! If they're at home they ask to go to bed, if out having fun they can keep going for hours so a usual early bedtime doesn't seem to have any negative effects on that.

In regards to seeing DH they rarely see him after work but never have so don't miss it to be honest. We are all up early so they see him then, we eat breakfast together and he takes them to school unless traveling. School starts at 7.30am for us so DH is in the office by 7.45am.

ghosty I think thats why our routine is so important. As long as we do a story and the two songs our girls cancope with bedtime at 7pm or 9.30pm. We have ffriends whose kids are religiously in bed at 7pm which is great 99% of the time but what about if there's a family meal out or you fancy a wander over to the pub on a hot evening? I think there are benefits and limitations whichever route you take. It doesn't sound like OP is happy with things at the moment though, so some tweaks may be necessary (or else, like other PPs, embracing it and making the most of the long evenings with DC who want to spend time with parents before they're miserable teens!)

Mind, Mt 3yo is an odd one and will sometimes put herself to bed if she decides she's tired She goes to play in her room and shortly after there'll be silence, when I go check I find she has put her pyjamas on usually back to front and/or mismatched and gone to sleep. She can sleep anywhere, anytime, including while having a ride on DH's shoulders, mid-meal, on the floor at playgroup, in a supermarket trolley, and in the bath. As soon as she's tired, she sleeps. Pure luck, I've done nothing to condition her to act this way, she's a sleeper is all. I wanted t BF her when she was a newborn but within a couple of weeks I lost my supply partly due to her not waking in the night for feeds. She would sleep 7 til 7 from day dot and no amount of prodding, poking, tickling, undressing, etc would rouse her for more than a moment or two.

How success full a routine is does, in part, depend on the children and much sleep they like/want/need.

I think routine helps get bad sleepers to bed though - I've had a not very good sleeper, a brilliant sleeper, and a non sleeper sent to convince me I'd rather boil my head than have any more babies (didn't sleep through til age 3, woke hourly, would only cosleep if lying on my head playing non stop with my ear) :o All went to bed fine. .. staying there was the problem for DC3.

'Terrible' , 'odd'
No, just a different method which suits their own family situation.
Why not just be nice?

My 2 year old dd is in bed by 7 after story and cuddles. Occasionally plays in her room for half an hour before falling asleep. I think routine is brilliant for children but according to this thread I'm obviously a terrible parent for forcing my child to go to bed

I really think it is sometimes just pure luck. My sister and I had our DC close together and we both stuck to the same routines and my DC were always asleep by 7:30 and slept through except when unwell. DS DC were a nightmare and they didn't ever get into routines.

I get mine to bed at a reasonable time very easily - but I also think 9 is reasonable bedtime and not 7. DS (2) has no problems with this, climbs into his bed and falls asleep without any arguments or issues.

Totally agree with Bearfrills - the 7pm routine is the fallback scenario/the norm and is very reassuring for kids and grownups, but obviously it doesn't prevent us doing cool stuff when we fancy! So not actually that rigid really....

Also the OP was asking for tips on how to get her kids to sleep at or around 7pm so those of us who talked about our routines/tactics were just trying to help her!

I stuck to a rigid routine from day 1.
Bathtime at 5.15, dried and dressed for 5.45 , bottle and in bed for 6.
He then sleeps until 6.30am
We have no TV after 5 and keep quiet and calm .
He is 1

If 2yo DD naps then she's often up till 10:30 or even later. No idea how to make her go to bed earlier, I've tried lots and the only thing that works is keeping her so busy that she doesn't nap.

Not always possible though as if we go in the car / a trip in the buggy in the afternoon she falls asleep.

DS was the same. He grew out of it when he dropped his nap.