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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask how on earth people get their small DC to sleep at a reasonable time?

127 replies

PerkyBoots · 29/07/2015 23:34

I have 2 DC, they are 3 and 1, I just can't seem to get them to sleep at a reasonable time, it was around 9.30pm tonight. They wind each other up and seem to just want to play! I've heard of others getting their kids to sleep by 7pm or earlier. Does this really happen and how? If anyone would like to share their secrets in this regard, I'd be VERY grateful. Thank you.

OP posts:

DisappointedOne · 30/07/2015 10:04

"2 DC's 5 and 2. Dinner at 4.30, bath at 5 and in bed at 5.30. Oldest plays on the iPad until 6pm both sleep through until 7pm"

Wow. A whole hour?

DurhamDurham · 30/07/2015 10:04

My two girls are teens now but we always had an early bedtime for them, unless we were on holiday or visiting family. It;s just something that naturally happened, we tried to do bath time at the same time every night and then story and bed. It didn't seem to be a problem they were happy to go.

It was great having child free evenings, we got to relax, catch up on the day and have the odd early night ourselves if we wanted to. It's a different story once they are teens so be prepared.....gone are the days you can tell them it's bedtime, they usually stay up later than you and my 18 year old has developed a habit of baking/cooking late on......think cupcakes at midnight. She tidies up but it's still difficult going to sleep knowing she's in the kitchen being 'creative'

whatarethose · 30/07/2015 10:05

Thank you Disappointed, it is

Bearfrills · 30/07/2015 10:05

How does everyone's partners ever see their kids??

DH changed his hours around so he does the same amount of hours as before but starts/finishes work earlier, he is always finished by 4pm. He leaves the house at 6am and is home by 5pm. It's not an option for everyone, I know, but it works for us.

Meant to add that the 1yo and 3yo still have a nap at some point during the day.

ghostyslovesheep · 30/07/2015 10:06

erm because children can't deal with tiredness like adults - and have to get up and do stuff like school?

Mine had a routine because I worked and had to get up and out early

we always had a bath/milk/story wind down and they slept 7-7

Now they are older they need sleep more than ever - teens are vile without sleep - it's bed at 8 (for the 6 year old) and 9 (for the older two) lights out at 9/10

whatarethose · 30/07/2015 10:06

You didn't realise it was a typo and I meant 7am?

ghostyslovesheep · 30/07/2015 10:08

oh and my Husband (now ex) was self employed and usually home by 5 :)

I find some of the snidey comments here quiet unnecessary - accusing people of being unloving because they parent differently from you goady or what?

NurNochKurzDieWeltRetten · 30/07/2015 10:09

What time do they get up?

In term time mine have to be up at 6 am so it's no problem putting all of them to bed at 7.30pm - they need to go then to have any chance of fitting in enough sleep, regardless of any adult wish for child free time or more time with the kids in the evening.

Agree early birds and night owls really exist (though think most people can switch gradually and fall between the two, some people can't comfortably) but also if you want or need early bed time you have to get up earlier too...

I'm not the biggest routine fan but we do have fixed bedtime and early morning routines in term time (bed stays the same in the holidays but does slip an hour later). I just order them upstairs and go with them - stories are the main motivator as staying downstairs longer would mean no time for a story...

Mine are 10, nearly 8 and 4 now but bedtimes been the same since the oldest started Kindergarten at age 3 - so oldest to were the same ages yours are op.

Bedtime and getting up are the 2 times of day you need routine with younger kids IMO.

NurNochKurzDieWeltRetten · 30/07/2015 10:11

*two

whatarethose · 30/07/2015 10:11

It is goady but I guess it's because they are unhappy with the way they are doing things. I don't take offence, but then I am very happy with the way we do things.

My DH has his own business so is able to see the children plenty before they go to bed and then we have a lovely evening together. Few times a week one of us is out at the gym or swimming or seeing friends or going out together or whatever but it seems to be working really well for us at the moment and the kids of course. If they weren't happy we would change it.

Summeblaze · 30/07/2015 10:13

We also had a very definite routine although I wouldn't call it strict as we would alter it for special occasions, or if we had been away for the day. We weren't ones who had to leave somewhere early to make sure dc were in bed at the correct time.

My DS2 (3) goes first at around 6.00/6.30. DS1 (7) goes at 6.30/7.00 and my DD (11) goes at 8.00/9.00 depending on if she is out doing her hobby or if she has had a few late nights and is tired.

I didn't/don't really have anything different to add. Bedtime routine is pyjamas on, teeth brushed, story time, cuddles. Then I leave the room. The thing I am and have always been strict on is doors closed, lights off and not sitting while they go to sleep. At around 3 they have all (DS2 now) gone through an "I'm scared of the dark" phase. I just reassure, cuddle and go out. I repeat as long as is necessary for them to realise that nothing will be changing and nothing will hurt them. Phase usually lasts a couple of weeks.

Some children just don't need as much sleep though even if you follow a routine but it's worth a try.

Mulligrubs · 30/07/2015 10:16

My son is 1, he has sort of fallen into his own routine and seems to sleep best when he has a nap in the day from 2-4 and goes to bed 8.30pm- 9pm at night waking at 8.30am-9am. I am a SAHM so no need to be anywhere in the morning so it suits us very well.

NurNochKurzDieWeltRetten · 30/07/2015 10:16

Yep on the seeing kids after work topic - that's one of the reasons why my DH gets up at 6am like the kids and leaves for work, works 7.30am - 4 pm and only takes a brief lunch, and gets home between 5.30pm and latest 6pm so we can all eat together at 6pm.

Some people start early so as not to have to work til 7pm

Children need sleep and have to be up for school in most cases - it's pretty selfish to keep a primary age child up for adult's benefit if it means depriving them of the 11 ish hours sleep they need.

DisappointedOne · 30/07/2015 10:19

I find some of the snidey comments here quiet unnecessary - accusing people of being unloving because they parent differently from you hmm goady or what?

If those parents are prepared to describe their parenting as "I take no shit" and "its my rules" aren't they asking for it?!

ghostyslovesheep · 30/07/2015 10:21

no not really - I am sure you are the epitomy of perfect parenting but us lesser mortals say stuff like that :) if your going to bump along nicely with other grown ups in the real world you might need to learn a bit of give and take

whatarethose · 30/07/2015 10:23

People don't deserve to be attacked because they do differently to you. It's a bit sad that you want to put other people down though for their choices but I suppose there must be something going on in your life to make you lash out.

DisappointedOne · 30/07/2015 10:23

Calm down, love. It's only the Internet.

DisappointedOne · 30/07/2015 10:23

How were you attacked?!

whatarethose · 30/07/2015 10:25

Oh, you're one of those types of posters

ghosty, now you're there, what are you having for dinner tonight? I need inspiration.

DisappointedOne · 30/07/2015 10:27

It's Thursday. DD is only allowed peas on Thursdays. And only between 2pm and 4pm.

My rules, innit.

whatarethose · 30/07/2015 10:29

I was a single Mum from 7 weeks and it was necessary for me to have some down time too which is why I stuck to our routine like glue. It worked for us.

Crikey that must have been hard. Well done for sticking with it! Bet it was nice to chill in the evening!

lunalovegood84 · 30/07/2015 10:33

DS is only 1 but has been in a consistent pattern of 9pm to 8am for a few months. Two naps per day as well. I'm quite happy with it - I realise it would be difficult with older children to get ready for school but it means he sees DH in the evening. DH has an epic commute - he is up at 5.45am, leaves at 6.30am and back home between 6.30pm and 7pm so it's not as if he can manage to get home earlier. It fits in well and we eat as a family around 7pm. The downside is zero childfree time for DH and me as he is pretty shattered by 9pm too!

DisappointedOne · 30/07/2015 10:33

My husband worked away from DD being 4 weeks old till just before her first birthday. I didn't need to force her into a routine.

Still, horses for courses.

DisappointedOne · 30/07/2015 10:35

I love being able to go out and visit friends of an evening as a family, or out for a meal. My friend can't ever do that because of her DD's early bedtime (unless people want to eat at 4pm - most can't or won't).

Pengweng · 30/07/2015 10:38

Honestly i think it depends entirely on the type of child(ren) you have.
I have 3 year old twins (girls) and have been lucky in that they have always apart from a slight (MASSIVE!) blip during 8 month sleep regression gone to bed lovely. Even after we moved them to beds from cots around 3 months ago. However they did not sleep through the night until well past 2 and one of them is still up a few times a week now.

Our routine is daddy home at 6pm, cup of milk downstairs, upstairs to brush teeth and get PJ's on, read stories, go to the loo, kisses, turn off lights and say night night approx 7pm. They get up about 6am which is better than the 5am we had for 6 months. zzzzzzzzzz
They nap a few times a week for 1-2 hours but not everyday. Doesn't seem to affect what time they go to bed though.
They have always had black out blinds up so even if they got out of bed (which i'm not sure they know they can do) they couldn't see to play anyway. And apart from the toys on their beds the rest is in units/cupboards that they can't open. So no toys or light = so bored they just go to sleep

I know lots of people do bath before bed but this makes mine go really hyper so we bath/shower in the morning instead as it's not a relaxing experience at night time lol.

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