To ask how on earth people get their small DC to sleep at a reasonable time?

[PerkyBoots]

I have 2 DC, they are 3 and 1, I just can't seem to get them to sleep at a reasonable time, it was around 9.30pm tonight. They wind each other up and seem to just want to play! I've heard of others getting their kids to sleep by 7pm or earlier. Does this really happen and how? If anyone would like to share their secrets in this regard, I'd be VERY grateful. Thank you.

Mine are 3 and 1 and sleep 7-7. I've definitely NOT had a strict routine. Dd was a terrible sleeper until well after 2 - even cc didn't help, but bedtime has always been about 7 and morning about 7 too (despite numerous wakings). Thankfully ds is better and they now mostly sleep through.
I also adjust naps to maintain a 7pm bedtime. Dd has none and ds has to be up from his by 2.30pm at the moment.
It's a tough time of year to bring bedtime forward because of the light evenings. I expect it might be easier to try in a few months.

We are the opposite. No routine. Bedtime 9pm so they get to spend evening with us. 6-9pm here is generally a long walk/ swim/ dinner/ play games. So they are tired around 9pm. They sleep until 8-9am. I wouldn't want them in bed at 6/7pm if up at 5am people mention here.
Makes like far easier also to go out in the evening together as they are used to later bedtimes

We had a routine and for the first year I was pretty rigid in it. I've found now I can be lax when it suits but when I want DC in bed for 7 she's there.

It's not to say we've not had ups and downs but as soon as any signs have shown we've gone straight back to rigid routine for a week and we're back to normal.

I was a single Mum from 7 weeks and it was necessary for me to have some down time too which is why I stuck to our routine like glue. It worked for us.

I wouldn't say it's too late to start now.

She also sleeps till between 7-8. She could stay up till 10 and would still be up at 7-8. It's the healthiest option for us. I get down time DC get the sleep they need.

Half luck half routine here. Has been going to bed at 7pm since she was a few months old. Milk, stories, bed, night night, close the door. Awake between 6.30-7am, naps of up to two hours in the day, she is nearly 3. She has strong sleep associations, I think she just knows and loves her "routine". I love having the evenings to ourselves and knowing she is getting a good long sleep so it's turned out well for us.

I think the key is exhaustion. If my dc go on a long walk (they hate walking, I drag them) or play outside most of the day, they are so tired at bedtime they just crash out.

I have always had early risers though (5 or 6am) so have had to adjust to that. I am looking forward to the teenage years when I can get a lie in.

In our house the kids get popped down at 7pm every night after tea, bath, tidy up and story. They are in separate rooms. I also like to remember that there's a reason it's called bedtime and not sleeptime. DD has been known to chat and sing to herself for up to 2 hours quiet happily before falling asleep. If she does this she obviously needs the decompression time. Just like me going to bed at 10pm and reading until midnight!

Mine sleep 8-7 now, I have a 4 yo and a 2yo and they share a room. From 7 it's bath and stories then lights out and they have to stay in their room. They have a night light and I sometimes hear them singing or getting out of bed to get a toy - fine with me, as long as they stay in their room. The quiet and dark means they go to sleep within 20 minutes ish. The 2yo takes longer as he still has a 2 hour nap.

Also late afternoon activity is good - we do swimming or an hour in the trampoline about 5.30 ish to tire them out!

Routine routine routine and a very long period with the three and a half year old if sitting in her room until she fell asleep and got used to the idea that 7 was bedtime. It took us ages.

9 month old goes to sleep at a similar time but doesn't stay asleep and was up at 5am so I wouldn't say I'm a sleep guru.

We have had a strict routine in place since DC1 (now 5.9) was about two months. Bath at 6.15, milk (whether a feed when younger or a cup now older), two stories, lullaby CD on and then lights off at 7pm. We have done exactly the same with DC2 (now 3.2). Unfortunately, other than the first few weeks of reception, DC1 has never needed more than 10.5 hours of sleep & DC2 needs less. DC1 is more content with her own company & talked early so was happy to be in her cot or bed chatting to her cuddles. DC2 is more physical & didn't talk until recently so would get incredibly upset (frustration & loneliness I would have thought) so we have gone with the flow more with him in the last year or so.
We're currently on holiday in Spain & I am wishing we had just moved here 5 years ago! I think I would have spent a lot less time doubting myself & wondering where I was going wrong!

How odd 930 is very late for a 3yr old?! What are you doing for hours? Do they sleep all day? Cut the lunch sleep to one hour for both and start bath book milk at 630.

If they cry/ are a pain go in 2-3 times then that's it. Just leave them for 10mins. Always works for us.

Your kids must be chronically tired.

Our 4 were in bed by 7 at that age as me and dh deserved a child Free evening. They didn't necessarily go straight to sleep but were forbidden to get out of bed for any reason. Other than a wee so couid read but no talking or playing.

You are in charge. They need to stick to your rules. End of. Not negotiable.

We have 2 DDs 4 and 6 and a DS who is 1. DDs share a room and we put them both to bed around 7pm or even earlier in termtime. If they mess about too much (which they often do at the moment as it is still fairly light in the evenings) and it gets out of hand I go up and give them a low-key rollicking with the threat of "don't make me send Daddy up here...."! Usually that is enough for them to shout "Noooooooo! and pipe right down. If Daddy does have to be sent up his rollicking is far less low-key and will usually involve confiscation of a favourite toy or book. Works a treat!

Aargh, posted long reply then lost it.

Basically be careful what you wish for.

consumer.healthday.com/kids-health-information-23/bedwetting-news-55/keep-your-toddler-s-body-clock-in-mind-at-bedtime-683139.html

"Our 4 were in bed by 7 at that age as me and dh deserved a child Free evening. They didn't necessarily go straight to sleep but were forbidden to get out of bed for any reason. Other than a wee so couid read but no talking or playing.

You are in charge. They need to stick to your rules. End of. Not negotiable."

Completely disagree. Can you fall asleep on demand?

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/if-you-want-to-get-ahead-be-a-night-owl-8547115.html

What's your daily routine - naps, meals, active time, quiet time?

Mine are 5yo, 3yo, and 1yo. The youngest two go to bed at 7pm and the 5yo goes at 8pm, the times sometimes get jiggled around a little for example if they're very tired they go earlier. My 5yo gets to stay up late on a Friday, he doesn't respond to traditional reward systems so have a toy clock on the wall set to 9pm, when he is good we move the hands forward 10 minutes and when he misbehaves we move them back 10 minutes, whatever time it's on by Friday night is his late bedtime. We're fairly relaxed during the day but for bedtime we've had a routine from day one, I think a lot of it depends on your child though. I'm lucky in that my three have been good sleepers.

On a normal night I take the younger two up at around 6.30/6.45 depending on whether they need a bath or not. DH spends some one on one time downstairs with DS1 while I'm doing this. Once the baby is no longer BF then we'll take it in turns to put the younger two to bed but at the minute it's easier for me to do it. They get washed, PJs, one story while 1yo gets BF, then into bed. Of there's excessive messing about or misbehaving, such as refusing to out PJs on, then the story part of the routine gets dropped.

Once they're in bed I go downstairs and have some time with DH and DS1 then at around 7.30/7.45 (again, depending on whether he needs a bath or just a wash) one of us takes him up, helps him get sorted, reads with him, and puts him to bed.

They wake up between 6am and 7am depending on whether they wake naturally or get woken up.

"Your kids must be chronically tired."

Not at all. DD was 3 when she started full time school last Sept. The night before she started it was about 10pm before she was asleep (this is normal for her). We woke her at 8am, so she was about an hour short of her normal sleep. She was a bit tired after school but nothing major. Within 2 weeks she had shifted bedtime herself closer to 8pm (and asleep around 9). She still gets plenty of sleep. Bedtime during term time is 8-8:30pm and she's asleep by 9pm most nights. During the holidays she slips back to her natural timing of 9-9:30pm bedtime and asleep by 10:30pm. She's perfectly happy (as are we). Light nights are very hard for little night owls.

Her best friend has always been a lark. Up by 5am no matter what time she goes to bed. She's in bed by 7pm most nights, and her parents are in bed by 9pm every night to be able to cope with it. I know which I'd choose!

How does everyone's partners ever see their kids?? the earliest DH is ever home is 7:30. Last night DS was in bed at 7 but that's only because DH was working from home. Was lovely to have such a long child-free evening!

How must they be chronically tired? At 3 years mine would sleep around 9pm-9am, that's far longer than most on here who say they are in bed 7pm and up 5/6am. Mine also napped 2 hrs in the day at 3. So 14hrs sleep a day

Personally I think it's terrible for a child to be forbidden to seek an adult at any time. 7pm is very early, we usually haven't even eaten as a family then. Mine have always settled well, but if for any reason they don't want to settle alone, they are welcome to settle down to sleep on the sofa in living room with us and we take them to bed when we go.

As an adult I don't sleep alone, I sleep with dh. I also go to bed when I like, and often read beforehand. As do many adults. So why does a child have to go to bed at a fixed time, and sleep alone on demand

I just don't take any shit and never have.

2 DC's 5 and 2. Dinner at 4.30, bath at 5 and in bed at 5.30. Oldest plays on the iPad until 6pm both sleep through until 7pm. They knew I wouldn't go into them after I put them in bed (unless for water/nappy change/illness so have never tried it on.

Artandco yes yes.

Yours sounds like a loving home whatarethose.