WIBU to allow my son to have his hair dreadlocked?

[MyNameIsDave]

My son has long (for a boy) curly hair, he is mixed race and many people in our family have dreadlocks/braided hair, he asks all the time to have his hair done like this. I know he will sit long enough as he often requests to have all his hair put into plaits and will happily sit for the duration...but I don't like it!

I'm looking for opinions on this as half the reason I'm reluctant to allow him to have it done is because people judge; I don't want him being judged anymore than he already is by having long hair as a boy.

He's only 4, he starts school in September, it would be more manageable but it's not too difficult to manage as it is! I'm NOT having it all cut off, he loves his hair and so do I, there's just no reason to cut it all off. (Head lice might change our stance on this!).

Would you judge?

Yes, the first time the 'Lice in the class, please treat your child's hair' letter comes home I think you'd regret the dreadlocks.

I don't think I've ever seen a primary aged child with dreadlocks - my DS did tend to come out of reception with playdough, sand, paint, mud, glue and half of his lunch smeared through his hair each day so needed a good scrub down each day (including wet combing his short curly hair).

The children I know who have had dreadlocks wear it up wrapped in scarves at school. That is because it is a nightmare to treat lice with dreadlocked hair.

Dreads plus a cool scarf when doing messy stuff should work!

I plaited my dd's hair to keep the lice away.
would dreadlocks do the same job?

I think braids look better. Personally, I don't like dreadlocks but that's my personal thing, I don't judge them.

From memory, most of the black or mixed race children with longer hair seem to favour braids, although the boys seem to mostly favour a short cut. I'm fairly sure none have dreadlocks that I've noticed.

My girls' hair is up in one or two plaits every day. Or a bun. I've treated them twice this year for headlice. My son has very short hair, with it slightly longer on top - like 1.5 inches. He had them, too.

So it would be a definite no from me.

I'd let him, some people will judge but adult (other parents not teachers you would hope) not kids. But my opinion is that broadly that it's good to let kids be individuals - there's enough pressure to look the same, like the same toys, films etc without me adding to it. If it does pass into kids he can change his mind (can you un-dreadlock hair?).

Does the school have any rules on hair?

Personally I wouldn't just because of the live situation. Terrible in the first few years.

But I wouldn't judge.

I have always taken the stance of 'its only hair' - its so easy to change it around again. Let him have them if he wants.... whats the harm?

If the worst comes to the worst - you can cut it and let it grow again.... easy changed.

If he has dreads won't you have to cut them all off really short as soon as lice are around? Which they will be. Would plaits be easier to undo and treat?

Braids, you will have to shave his head if he gets nits.

I wouldn't judge at all.

I'd give it a week in our reception class, head lice heaven.

Headlice would be my concern too. I still battle them with my 10 year old. Am hoping the problem stops in secondary school, please someone tell me this is true?

We got nits in year seven. Sorry.

Would the school allow dreadlocks? Some schools have very strict rule about hairstyles.

Think it's fine. neat and out of his eyes what could be better for school.

I love the look of dreads on children but I'm not sure at all about the practicalities. I'd definitely check the school policy first but otherwise I can't see why not! Anyone who would judge a 4 year olds hair really isn't worth a second thought.

There was a young boy in my DD's school a year lower who had dreads. The poor boy was riddled with lice, to the point you would see them jumping on his head. His mother refused to cut them off and he went around infecting everyone else.
In the end the headmaster had to take a stand and suspend him until his mother saw sense and sorted him out. He must have been ever so uncomfortable

I'd say no because of the practical issues with lice

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest. Not all children get lice, and if he does you just deal with it and move on. If he has his heart set on it I don't see why he shouldn't try it. Better at four than at seniors where it might not be allowed.

Dreadlocks and braids are not the same thing though. You can undo and look after braided hair.

There are not many little girls who have short hair in case they catch lice.

And he might not get lice. My dd is in year six and she's never had them.

Yanbu - i would think it was cool, love dreadlocks!

I'd allow it but say 'You do realise we'll have to cut the lot off as soon as you get headlice, which you pretty much inevitably will'.

If he understands that, accepts it & you're confident he won't go into meltdown when it happens (& you can live with the thought of having to buzz his hair super-short!), then why not - it's only hair, it grows back!

I was a student back when dreads on scrawny white crusties were all the rage - we all looked ridic, & then we all caught lice & it was disgusting, but I do think they can look lovely if you've got the right sort of hair.

Our school doesn't allow "extreme" hairstyles, I would assume dreds come under this catagory. Qhy would you want to dred a small childs hair, they're messy buggers, just imagining paint/sand/food ingrained into dreds.

I think the corn row braids look lovely. Plus it can be undone and washed if needed and redone. No cutting it all off. If you get it done professionally or if someone in the family is really good at it, it can last ages.
My friends son has locks, he wanted them himself and does all the care but he's 10.