WIBU to allow my son to have his hair dreadlocked?

[MyNameIsDave]

My son has long (for a boy) curly hair, he is mixed race and many people in our family have dreadlocks/braided hair, he asks all the time to have his hair done like this. I know he will sit long enough as he often requests to have all his hair put into plaits and will happily sit for the duration...but I don't like it!

I'm looking for opinions on this as half the reason I'm reluctant to allow him to have it done is because people judge; I don't want him being judged anymore than he already is by having long hair as a boy.

He's only 4, he starts school in September, it would be more manageable but it's not too difficult to manage as it is! I'm NOT having it all cut off, he loves his hair and so do I, there's just no reason to cut it all off. (Head lice might change our stance on this!).

Would you judge?

[TheHouseOnBellSt]

I think it's important for him to experience the cultural hairstyles of his race if he wants to. He may never get lice...my DDs haven't...they're 11 and 7 and go to a busy primary school where breakouts happen all the time.

[HoldYerWhist]

My friend is considering the exact same thing as you. Ultimately though, she's leaning towards braids because of lice, sand, glue, paint and the plethora of other unforseen hair catastrophes that come with school going children.

Imagine having to shave it all off because of lice! Don't assume they're easy to get rid of!!!!

[ThatAnneGirl]

HighwayDragon, do you have to pick a haircut from the North Korean chart?

I think a school would be very wrong of they prevented a child with Afro hair from having their hair in braids or locks.

[Ohshithelp]

a school can't prevent a child from having dread locks as most people who have them have them for culture or religious reasons

[BarbarianMum]

If it were me, I would go for braids to avoid having to cut it all off when head lice strike. It's not just that getting rid of lice with dreadlocks is nigh on impossible, it's also that checking for them is really difficult.

[Goshthatsspicy]

That North Korean selection is unnerving. One incorrect snip...
Anyway op l'd say no for now just because it will be difficult for school.
Not impossible though, certainly not by the time he is 11-12 :)

[RachelRagged]

Not overkeen but would not judge anyone's hair . God knows I have made some hair errors during life

Up to you OP but as others have said lice will be a major issue . Always is especially in the Nursery to Year 2 or so years . Also as others have also said what are schools rules on hair ?

[Robstersgirl]

No! It would be a nightmare.

[GobblersKnob]

I know two young school age kids with dreads, both wear them wrapped up in scarves for school.

Tbh I have often thought how much better it would be in terms of nits, if all kids did that.

[EmmaWoodlouse]

I think dreadlocks look really cool (and cute on little boys) so my heart says yes. My head says find out whether the school would object to him wearing a hat or scarf over them, for the reasons mentioned. If that's not allowed and you decide not to go for the dreadlocks, let him have braids or similar, he should be allowed to enjoy his hair!

[Itllbefiiiiiiiiine]

Dreadlocks aren't plaits though OP?

If he's having plaits then it can be taken out.

[GrannyWW]

You can use nit solution on dreads but it takes weeks to wash the silicon buggary stuff out

[Ericaequites]

A well brushed, clean scalp is healthiest. I can't imagine dreads would be permitted at school. There is a middle ground in all things, and braids would be a fair compromise.

[DJThreeDog]

I think you should cultivate his curls rather than allow dreads.

[MsVestibule]

Good grief, dreadlocks for a 4yo??! As everybody else has said, lice heaven! I know you don't like braids (presumably you're referring to corn rows?) but if you don't want to have to cut his hair, it does seem the most practical option. I'm sure I'm being naive, but is just tying it back in a ponytail an option, or is it too thick for that?

[Wombat22]

I wouldn't judge. It sounds cool.
I didn't realise nits/lice were so prevalent

[queeneileen]

Yeah, it's not good with headlice. My son's class had outbreaks 3 times a year from reception through to year 6 (because of one dirty ticket who wouldn't treat her daughters) and you know yourself they'd have to be shaven off if he got infected with them :(

[Nettymaniaa]

Plaits or rows are very versatile. Dreadlocks can cause traction alopecea over time. With plaits you can undo them wash and rest the hair and redo. Simples.

[Noneedtoworryatall]

On a 4 year old!

Horrible

[QuestioningStuff]

I sometimes to my sons hair in twists, which look a lot like dreads but don't carry the same commitments. Could you maybe try this first OP?

Anyone who would judge/doesn't like them is quite honestly, an idiot. They are quite an integral part of his culture and identity, especially if a lot of his family have dreads. I'd be shocked if a school didn't allow this.

If he is adamant about dreads and you want them too, let him know that if anything was to get stuck in them/lice etc you would have to cut them off. It will grow back.

[QuestioningStuff]

Noneed why exactly?

[MistressDeeCee]

No, I wouldn't judge OP. I know other people do. But for all school or anybody else knows it could be for cultural or religious reasons. There are lots of products for keeping dreadlocks neat and once they're formed, its even easier. You just have to know how to retwist but, its easily done. If at some point he no longer wants the lox then cut them out, his hair will regrow quickly. Or just compromise tell him he can have them in a couple of years, for instance.

Really nice that your son doesn't see dreadlocks as a messy horrible hairstyle that somehow doesn't "conform". Ignorance is rife at times. All the comments about lice, too - lox are no more susceptible to lice than any other hairstyle Im surprised in 2015 some people actually still have that outlook. Its to do with equating lox as "dirty" - the usual western stereotyping. Which its nice to see you don't conform to, by the way you've asked your question.

Im loxed, have been for years. So is my father, brother, and so is 1 of my daughter..she's been loxed since schooldays. We've never had lice, our hair is very neat too. I suppose your son will keep his tied back anyway, most of the time. So it'll be off his face, easier for him. Lox are pretty easy to look after & keep neat, especially once they're formed. As said though, maybe best to give your DS a compromise and see how it goes from there

[MistressDeeCee]

Questioningstuff,s idea about twists is a very good too, perhaps go for that compromise although its a little more work in upkeep..perhaps find a family member and also a good hairdresser, so that his hair can be maintained at all times. My nephew is mixed race and has his hair in twists, and sometimes corn rows..he wants lox but has been told he has to wait a bit. The twists etc make him shut up.. for now

[TheWildRumpyPumpus]

Mistress when the lice notification form comes home though, how do you treat your daughter's hair to ensure there aren't any lice or nits buried down in the locks?

[Oswin]

Dreads are not an extreme hairstyle!