Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Medical treatment-my body my decision?

81 replies

mydecision · 27/07/2015 20:22

AIBU to think I should be entitled to make my own decision regarding medical treatment ?

Recently I had IVF, after my previous pregnancy resulted in me being unable to conceive again without assistance (I had also had placenta praevia and a small area of accreta)
Before coming to the decision to have IVF we had counselling and tests to check all was a swell as could be

The clinic were happy for us to go ahead but when my GP got the letter all hell broke loose, they called me in to discuss this and I wrote back stating that I had made my decision and did not feel I needed to discuss it as had already done so with our consultant
I then got an email from clinic stating that the GP had reservations about us having more treatment??? I feel this is grossly overstepping the mark

I'm upset, I want to complain. It's stressful enough as it is without interference

OP posts:
paintedfences · 27/07/2015 20:25

"the GP had reservations about us having more treatment"

Why does the GP have reservations/what are the reservations?

Sirzy · 27/07/2015 20:26

It depends what the reservations the GP has are really.

HedgehogAtHome · 27/07/2015 20:26

DH and I had to get a 'recommendation' from our GP, checked things like mental health and checked if there were any welfare issues with our existing DC. They also checked the history I'd given.

softhedgehog · 27/07/2015 20:27

What were the reservations? As a GP, I have an obligation to inform a fertility clinic if there is something serious that would have a bearing on the wellbeing of a child conceived via fertility treatment. In practice, I would only ever write if the mother's mental health was so bad that I thought the stress of IVF might precipitate a deterioration/suicide attempt, or if there were previous child protection concerns they need to know about. I can't imagine this was done lightly.

Original poster
mydecision · 27/07/2015 20:27

Because of the previous placenta issues is what I'm assuming? There is nothing else I can think it could be.
We spoke at length with our consultant about it all and know the risks etc of it possibly happening again. I had extra tests to check my uterus and know what to be aware of should the next cycle work.

We had private counselling and counselling at the clinic, welfare of the child assessment was done and all fine so I'm pretty upset with the GP

OP posts:
hibbleddible · 27/07/2015 20:28

I think we are only being given half the story here.

Why do you think your go has reservations?

Original poster
mydecision · 27/07/2015 20:30

When I received the email from the clinic I spoke with them and all is now fine. I called the practice manage at my surgery and she said usually any contact us logged but she couldn't tell me which doctor had actually spoken to the clinic so I can't actually find out why they had reservations.

No history of MH issues, no other problems and we did all the relevant forms etc at our initial visit

OP posts:
Original poster
mydecision · 27/07/2015 20:32

I honestly do not know, I'm quite puzzled by it and can only think it's due to the problem I had with placenta (I lost quite a bit of blood and was unwell after)
There is nothing else to tell I just feel very upset that the GP clearly does not agree with our decision. I am aware there is a small risk it could happen again but I would have extra scans/checks and we've had a lot of counselling

OP posts:
bigbumtheory · 27/07/2015 20:32

I think if you don't know the reservations then you should find out. It may be something you haven't considered which wouldn't be good for you or it could just be that they are interfering and should be told that.

penny13610 · 27/07/2015 20:34

Your GP has reservations about either your or your future child's health. Sounds quite reasonable, they are far too busy to dick you around for no reason.

Original poster
mydecision · 27/07/2015 20:38

I called the practice manager, she got my notes up and said she could see the treatment summary letter from clinic, the letter asking me to come in to see the GP to discuss and my reply to this. She said any other contact be it email, phone or letter should have been logged too and the reason but there is nothing else.

I know who the requesting doctor was when they asked me to go in to discuss but nothing else but the practice manager was sympathetic and added that I'd called about it.
The clinic after speaking with us have no issues and treatment has continued but I just feel upset the GP are not supportive of us at quite a stressful time

OP posts:
Original poster
mydecision · 27/07/2015 20:40

I can only assume it would have been my health they are worried about due to the complications last time. It is understandable but we have had a lot of tests and counselling.

It may/may not happen again and had I not needed fertility treatment we would have been ttc and nobody would have known, this way it seems we are open to a lot of scrutiny.

OP posts:
softhedgehog · 27/07/2015 20:40

Very odd. If I felt strongly enough to contact an IVF clinic about a patient it would definitely be in writing and written in the notes.

Could this be a case of mistaken identity by the clinic? Another pt has a similar name/DOB and their GP was the one that rang?

titchy · 27/07/2015 20:40

Why on earth didn't you just go to your GP when they asked you to? I don't think you can really get upset and complain when you don't know what the issue is.

YeOldeTrout · 27/07/2015 20:43

Exactly how did all hell break loose?

GP got the letter, GP contacted you to discuss the letter.
Was GP pushy or aggressive at this point?

You declined to go into see GP.
You don't even know what GP wanted to discuss.
GP's reservations may be around the fact that GP doesn't know how well-informed you are... because you refuse to go talk to GP.

At least that's what you seem to be saying.

Floggingmolly · 27/07/2015 20:45

Go and see the GP, fgs! Any reservations won't be because they "don't agree with your decision" based on no medical grounds whatsoever Hmm

Sirzy · 27/07/2015 20:46

Would have been much easier if you had gone and discussed it with the GP when asked!

Original poster
mydecision · 27/07/2015 20:48

The letter was quite aggressively written yes, along the lines of "we've had this letter, please make an appointment as this needs to be discussed before proceeding further"

Bearing in mind the amount of counselling I'd had and tests to come to a decision to proceed I did not feel I needed to explain myself so wrote a reply to that effect.
The only other slight issue was the manager saying something about MIL (as she has same first and last name as me ) and laughing saying it was mistaken identity but I can't see how it was that as I have a different date of birth address etc?!

Perhaps I should just go and see the GP? (Feels like a waste of an apt) but if it will help I could as I obviously want their support as if fingers crossed it is all successful I would like a GP who I get along with

OP posts:
Angria · 27/07/2015 20:49

Placenta accreta is a very serious condition, many women end up with a hysterectomy at the time of the C section as the placenta has grown through into the uterine wall and does not detach as it should do after delivery, it causes very heavy bleeding that sometimes cannot be stopped.

I would think they want to make sure you are quite clear about the risks of another pregnancy. Does the clinic have access to your hospital obstetric notes?

bestguess23 · 27/07/2015 20:51

You are right, it is your decision but you really should hear what the GP has to say. There might be something you haven't thought of or something that they have only learned or realised recently. There's no harm in hearing them out. You can then seek further reassurance from the consultant if you need it.

Original poster
mydecision · 27/07/2015 20:53

Yes we had a very long appointment about it initially, I was lucky in that it was 'focal placenta accreta' so only a very small part had grown through, the praevia was more of a problem. I had obtained copies of my notes for the clinic

I had scans done to look at my uterus as much as was possible and I'd had a hysteroscopy a year previously which was fine. I have been told should this cycle be succesful I would be classed as high risk but would need extra scans and an mri and a repeat c section

OP posts:
SisterMoonshine · 27/07/2015 20:56

Excuse my ignorance about it all. But are you paying?
Could the GP be trying to get hold of you to discuss referring you for funding?

Sirzy · 27/07/2015 20:56

I got a letter about DS a few weeks back from the GP asking us to make an appointment to discuss some concerns they have following a clinic letter they had recieved. I reluctantly made the appointment muttering about the fact the consultant had already done everything needed. but it turned out the GP was right to check his concerns with me.

It may be a pain but GPs are right to double check things rather than proceeding blindly.

Original poster
mydecision · 27/07/2015 20:57

Ok, I will make appt to see the GP who I assume has the reservations, if it's not her at least it will be logged that I've been in

I just want them to be supportive, I can only assume the reservations are due to my medical history, I just feel it's very unfortunate I need IVF as well as having been through the placenta issues as had I not been I'd just have ttc and nobody would have known, this way it seems very difficult, lots of forms/checks etc and it's difficult to come to terms with things not being the 'normal' way

OP posts:
YeOldeTrout · 27/07/2015 20:59

Quote from the letter isn't aggressive to my eyes.

If clinic treatment is successful, do you go back there for all further care for next few yrs? (Thought not). The GP & surgery midwives will have to pick up on your subsequent needs, so they have a duty of care to make sure you're fully informed and not taking huge risks.

Nevertheless, if you can get treatment without GP's support, then why not do that & change GP surgery if you feel you need a fresh start?