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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel shit about renting at 30?

212 replies

ScaredBUTstrong · 25/07/2015 12:42

Been renting since I was 18, no way of ever saving for a deposit and all money was going in rent.
Husband similar position, I left my career after having our child and got £15000 redundancy however used it to keep me at home for the last few years and have now gone back to work as he starts school this year but we will never be able to save for a mortgage.
Rents are £1000 for a 2 bed here ( Horsham West Sussex ) and they are bloody hard to get, everyone's going after the same houses you get rejected for bad credit which I'm paying off lots of landlords don't want kids etc.
feels like my sons childhood has and will be spent with a whole load of uncertainty and worry.
Feeling like I've let him down.

OP posts:
Sazzle41 · 26/07/2015 01:19

I'm way older than you OP and renting! Initially when your age i'd rather rent somewhere lovely than buy a dive in dodgy area - and realistically as of this year I dont think i will ever afford a mortgage and its not the end of the world. In other cultures - Egyptians, Turkish, Spanish and Moroccans I work with - they all rent forever, usually in same house and dont get our obsession with owning ! You child needs unconditional love not a parent with a mortgage. Renting doesnt mean instability - i have been long term in 3 rented places,only moving when property was sold.

IAmAShitHotLawyer · 26/07/2015 07:18

YAB a little bit unreasonable.

When you got £15k redundancy that was a key moment in determining your future finances. You could have put a deposit on this place

2 bed flat

Repayment on that would cost £465 a month.

BumpTheElephant · 26/07/2015 07:31

I'll still be renting at 30 and DH is already over 30. I dislike not being able to decorate or put pictures up and there's a bit of worry about being served two months notice at any time but the house is lovely and in a nice area. We will never be able to afford to buy a house like the one we rent.
We are fortunate to have a brilliant landlord who seems keen for us to stay long term.
Renting isn't that bad really. No paying for repairs and can move out with a months notice if we need to.

Superexcited · 26/07/2015 08:01

shothotlawyer That flat has a service charge of £4700 pa Shock. Is that sort of cost normal for flats?

I found this flat in OPs area which is also not far off from a budget where the deposit is £15k and it has 3 bedrooms. I'm guessing it wouldn't be good enough for the OP though as she currently lives in a gorgeous house and probably wants to be an,e to buy similar to what she rents (maybe I am wrong but the having your cake attitude makes me think this).

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-50001040.html

I think sometimes we have to accept that if we want to buy rather than rent we might have to compromise on area / style of property, especially in more expensive areas.

Pumpkinpositive · 26/07/2015 08:13

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-50001040.html

I love the description on this property.

Since when was a three bedroom property most suited to an "older buyer looking to downsize?" Confused

Superexcited · 26/07/2015 08:25

I don't know pumpkin, estate agents use all kinds of odd descriptions. My own auntie is looking to downsize to a three bedroom house though - she currently lives in a very large 5 bed semi with gardens back and front.
I would think that flat is suitable for first time buyers who have children especially as it is in the ground floor.

Nettletheelf · 26/07/2015 10:27

Like other posters, I didn't buy until I was 28, in 1999, when houses were much more affordable.

Why is it so dreadful to be renting at 30? I don't get it. I was considered daring by my friends for taking the plunge aged 28! I had no problem with renting, even in shared houses, before then. That was how I ended up with enough cash to think, "maybe I'll buy somewhere". It wasn't a milestone I was desperate to reach by a certain age.

I am surprised when I hear people fresh out of university moaning about not being able to afford to buy immediately. That and the Greek chorus about so-called "dead money". There's no deader money than negative equity, as others on this thread have experienced first hand, and owning a house is not an entitlement.

I appreciate that the OP, at 30, is slightly older than the people I mention in the previous paragraph, but she lives in one of the most expensive areas of the UK, is relatively low paid and chose to be a SAHM to (soon to be) two children. Surely renting is the reality for many people in a similar situation, irrespective of age?

Original poster
ScaredBUTstrong · 26/07/2015 11:25

We were told we needed 30% of the mortgage to qualify for a mortgage based on our annual income if I went back to work of £45,000 a year.
So even on somehere that was £120,000 we would have needed in the region of £30,000 with all the fees so double what I had and no hope of saving even if I had returned to work more than a few hundred a month so probably in 10 years time.
And the kids would have had no garden through their young years.
It's not about having my cake and eating it, that money is long gone now so pointless wondering what I could have done differently, maybe my son would have benefited from being with nursery and childminders ( would have needed both due to shift work ) instead of me being at home but it didn't feel like that at the time but I guess in the long run it would have paid off.

OP posts:
AyeAmarok · 26/07/2015 11:53

You should have spoken to more mortgage providers OP, as a first time buyer there are deals in place where you only need 5% or 10% deposits.

Anyway, as you said, what's done is done and the money is spent.

If your due 100k of inheritance soon as you say you'll easily be able to get a property of some description, but maybe just a bit further out from Horsham.

AyeAmarok · 26/07/2015 11:54

you're *

Soz.

Original poster
ScaredBUTstrong · 26/07/2015 12:09

Yes if they'll give us one on one wage now not sure if they will.
I guess I could buy a small flat outright further out and rent until the children leave home or something.
I just wonder what happens to people renting in their retirement :(

OP posts:
Summergarden · 26/07/2015 12:22

30% deposit isn't usual, virtually all mortgage providers seem to accept 20% deposits and quite possibly 10%. It is true that the best rates will only be available to those with largest deposits though.

A garden isn't an absolute necessity for young DC. We have a garden but tbh my kids don't use it that much, prefer the nearby park.

Another one here who deliberately waited until age 30 to TTC first baby, to get ourselves into a secure financial position. I worked second and even third jobs to save up and pay our mortgage down a bit, right up until my due date with first baby. Of course also took the risk that ifalling pg may not happen easily. Not to say that my choice was more valid, but we can't have it all.

DrLego · 26/07/2015 12:52

I nearly bought a flat at 25. Then I made a foolish decision to leave my job. I will be renting at 30. I hated it for a while, as I had to move with little notice etc. But have been in current place 3 years and the rent has only increased by £25 so I think I've been fortunate to find a hands-off company landlord, and have peace & quiet - no inspections, nobody selling or wanting to move in. I also see the benefits now - I can move areas if I want, I can just pack all my stuff up & leave the country if I want. Of course I'd rather own my home but there are perks to renting. I think the gross increase in rents people charge though is not good and they charge what they can get away with. I have had no help from family with deposit, so I really don't have a chance of buying for some time, unlike my friends whose parents have helped them considerably.

nicestrongtea · 26/07/2015 13:01

All the benefits of renting seem to disappear once you have DC though, I don't want to leave the country not after the struggle to get a good school fgs! and even if I did then I wouldn't sell, not a chance, would rent my house out.
I would be paying £1600 a month to rent my house rather than paying £412 a month mortgage that Im paying now.
I would be paying that for ever and not have a thing to show for it.

Lucy61 · 26/07/2015 13:02

You should have looked around- I don't know many first time buyers who start with a 30% deposit. We certainly didn't and we bought in the middle of the credit crunch.

If your earning power is in the region of £45,000 then I should think you would be able to afford to go back to work and pay for childcare. Even working 3 days a week you would get over £30,000 a year. As for getting a mortgage on one salary, I don't see why you wouldn't be able to. They will just lend you an punt based on your partner's earnings.

If you want a house, go back to work. You don't sound like you have seriously looked into this op.

Lucy61 · 26/07/2015 13:03

*amount

MagratGarlik · 26/07/2015 13:14

As a child, I moved every 2-3 years (sometimes more frequently) as a result of my father being in the Forces. We did several international moves too. I didn't give it a second thought until I was a teenager - I just thought everyone moved that often!

throwingpebbles · 26/07/2015 13:19

I went back to work after my son (albeit part time) because I knew we needed my salary to help us buy
Yab a bit u. You made a decision what to do with that money, which would have been a sizeable chunk of a 10% deposit.

JillBYeats · 26/07/2015 13:26

We sold our house and rented for two years - as others have said there is a great weight off your shoulders when you rent. Fixing stuff is the landlords responsibility not yours. We then bought again and are now crippled with a huge mortgage and negative equity. We barely scrape our mortgage together and feed ourselves. There is nothing left. We dream of being in a position to sell and rent. If you change your perspective OP to wanting what you have instead of what you don't have you'll see that your life and future aren't at all bad.

Goshthatsspicy · 26/07/2015 13:31

Are you going to check other schemes op?
Shared ownership can be a very effective way to get on with ladder.
if you did decide to go back to work, you'd be able to buy a bigger percentage. Smile

IAmAShitHotLawyer · 26/07/2015 14:18

superexcited - I just noticed the service charge of £4700 on that flat - I have no idea if its normal or not. its a lot though!

pumpkin - that flat is lovely!!!!!

Superexcited · 26/07/2015 14:23

And the kids would have had no garden through their young years.

Plenty of kids don't have gardens. Plenty of kids don't have their own bedroom either and they manage to grow into healthy well balanced adults.
What you want is to stay home for your children's youngest years (and space your children out so those youngest years last quite a long time), to have a gorgeous house in an expensive area (which you own) with a bedroom for each child and a garden to top it all off. Unfortunately something has to be sacrificed to achieve some of those things and at the moment you don't seem to be prepared to sacrifice anything.
30% deposit isn't the norm even with the current tighter lending regulations. You should have sought advice from a mortgage broker and he probably would have found you a mortgage deal with a much smaller deposit.
But what is done is done and you can't turn the click back so you might as well wait for your inheritance of £50k which might either not materialise or might not be enough depending on how much house prices rise before your relative dies. Tbh I find the whole waiting for somebody to die so that you can get their money and start building a life a bit tasteless but that is just my opinion.

sallysimpson · 26/07/2015 14:42

We recently bought and our deposit was 10%, borrowed 3 times our combined salary (DH FT, me PT) but was offered up to 4x salary. We have a really decent fixed rate too. Speak to a broker you might be surprised!

DaveMinion · 26/07/2015 15:53

superexcited that is a really shitty block hence why so cheap. Postage stamp size inside too. Handy for town centre though.

Superexcited · 26/07/2015 16:09

Plenty of people but in really shitty blocks to get their foot on the property ladder. Other people move further afield. Other people buy very small properties.
At the end of the day for most people there usually has to be some large compromise especially with the crazy house prices that we have.
My first house was in a really shitty street in an undesirable area but it got me onto the property ladder (without help from family or inheritance etc) and I don't regret it even though other people thought I was bonkers at the time.