to feel shit about renting at 30?

[ScaredBUTstrong]

Been renting since I was 18, no way of ever saving for a deposit and all money was going in rent.
Husband similar position, I left my career after having our child and got £15000 redundancy however used it to keep me at home for the last few years and have now gone back to work as he starts school this year but we will never be able to save for a mortgage.
Rents are £1000 for a 2 bed here ( Horsham West Sussex ) and they are bloody hard to get, everyone's going after the same houses you get rejected for bad credit which I'm paying off lots of landlords don't want kids etc.
feels like my sons childhood has and will be spent with a whole load of uncertainty and worry.
Feeling like I've let him down.

You were given £15,000 tax-free - it might not have bought you a house but it would have gone a long way towards a deposit. YABU - you chose to use that money for other purposes and 30 is really quite young to be buying property anyway.

I wish people wouldn't always mention people renting in other countries when this subject is discussed. In societies where renting is considered a desirable option, tenants have more rights than they do here and there isn't the same need to find hundreds of pounds every few months to pay whatever bullshit the letting agents want to charge to renew a contract. There's just no comparison. I agree that there can be many advantages to renting, I do it myself (SH, but did spend a few years in private pre kids and enjoyed the flexibility). But let's not lose sight of the very real, very good reasons why a lot of people who do it would rather not.

We didn't buy until I was 30 and dh 34. We bought out first property abroad and lost everything on it when we had to sell and move back to the UKas the market had dropped. We lived with my parents for 6 months with our two very young children and then my dad gave us the deposit to buy again. We were very lucky, if he had not helped us out we would probably still be renting now as the market soared hugely in 2002 just after we had bought. Thirteen years later we are well on our way to paying off themortgage many years early but only as we both work and lucily pay no childcare as we work around each other, me doing nights and dh days.

We just bought our first house and I'm 37. That's normal isn't it? I'm not particularly bothered by how long it took us.

You've had 15k and you're looking at a 50k inheritance in the next few years. Not sure what more you want. Yours situation seems relatively easy and fortunate compared to most tbh. You can't expect it all handed on a plate.

I was in a position to buy at 28 through my own savings but you've made different choices e.g. Staying home with your DC - fine, but obviously that impacts your finances.

There is nothing wrong with renting if that's what suits a family/ individual. Personally, I like knowing that our home is ours and no one will come along and ask us to leave. Private tenancy offers little long term security in this country.

I sense from your post that you are unhappy with you current arrangement but it also sounds like it is the result of choices you made. You gave up a career and spent £15000 to pay for you to be a sahm- great. But you can't also say you want a house.

Is getting a job in a year or two an option? X

I was renting until 28 and that was back in the 90s before property prices got silly.

I was renting until I got married at 32, and I would still be renting if I hadn't met and settled down with DH. You simply never know what is around the corner; at age 30 I was in a different relationship and I never thought I would have ended up with DH.

I'm nearly 40. We rent, we will never be able to buy. It gets me down and embarrasses my family but I was made redundant a few years ago and it's taken us a while to get back on our feet especially with Dh also being made redundant just as we thought things were turning a corner.

I am not wishing to offend but 15,000 lump, staying at home and future 50,000 isn't something most people have op

I worked as a teacher and weekends as a carer and bought a shit house very young and rented it out and lived with six others in a cheap rental to get myself on the property ladder at 23 years old.

Didn't get help from parents through uni or house and wouldn't expect to

No need to be embarassed, it is very common to rent these days. But the beauty of buying is that eventually you pay off your mortgage. My parents are still paying rent in their 70's.

YABU

You made all these choices yourself, staying at home for a couple of years, not saving for maternity leave before having a child, using redundancy money not on a deposit, choosing to remain in Horsham, even choosing to do what you do for a job. Plenty of people I know are trapped in low paying jobs because they don't want to leave something like retail for call centre work (where you can quite easily pick up commission and overtime)

I would also suggest that there is nothing wrong with renting, also nothing wrong with owning and wanting what's best for your family but you come across like you think renting is beneath you and you should be able to have a house by either being lucky (eg wealthy parent that can help out) or without having to work or scrimp and save for it like everyone else who doesn't suddenly come into money.

You're not unreasonable to have done anything you have but you are unreasonable now to moan about it as if all these things just happened to you.

You have made choices OP. When I lived in the UK, I first bought at age 33. It was a tiny 2 bedroom terraced cottage a long and inconvenient commute from my work. It was my job that enabled me to get a mortgage. I borrowed the deposit as a personal loan from the bank and heaped the rest onto my VISA card. If I'd chosen not to have a job, I know I would never have got a mortgage.

I wish I'd had a £15,000 lump sum. I remember having to handwash (get out the violins) all my clothes for the first 6 months, because I couldn't afford a washing machine, and then eventually buying one on credit.

My boyfriend (now DH) had a tiny one bedroom flat, bought in similar circumstances.

My parents didn't own their own home, no inheritance in the future.

Im somewhat confused OP.
If you had stayed in work even earning (after all expenses ,CC,Travel) £600 per month =£7,200 x 5 +£36,000 plus £15,000= 51K.

You would now have a deposit of 51K ??

I am assuming that if the OP cleared £600 per month due to childcare fees etc, she would have used that to errrrrrrrrrr... live on?

So it would last two years-ish. The fact that she made it last for 3 is good for her.

You can't say she could have worked and kept the money and added £15k to it and hey presto. She needs money to live on. It's either the £600 per month or the £15k. You can't have your cake and eat it.

Sorry, this bit: "So it would last two years-ish. The fact that she made it last for 3 is good for her." should have read, "So the £15k would have lasted two years-ish. The fact that she made it last for more is good for her."

I would be frustrated too. To me, renting long term is throwing money away.

Plus it's so expensive!

We pay a mortgage of £310 per month on a 4 bed house, we are early 40s.

My nephew, 11 years younger than me, pays £1250 per month to rent a one bedroomed flat.

Oops sorry I missed the bit where the OP said she used the 15K to live on .

Yabu as you made choices that suited your family.

You also don't need 3 bedrooms because you have dc2 on the way

Nothing wrong with renting, everybody is different. Don't ever feel down or ashamed.
I would of still been renting If I didn't get inhertiance.

I'm 46 and I rent. I went on renting even when I was a teacher on 37K a year and my bank was sending me leaflets about mortgages. Nothing compares to the freedom of being able to up and move - even countries, if you so fancy.

Just for perspective: I have a family member who lives in one of the big EU capitals, he's an economist (and is not from the country where he lives). He has investments, including offshore, and could probably buy a house without mortgage. But he says the thing to do is to work in Europe, but then retire somewhere cheap where the climate is healthy for old people (sunny and dry), e.g. the Caribbean. So he and his partner are renting and plan to do so because they don't want to be burdened by a property anywhere in Europe.

Wanting to own your house is such a peculiarly British thing.

I'm not sure why it's considered "shit" to be renting at 26. Or even 30. The "shit" housing situation has nothing to do with age, although it is only a current for now thing that some of those of a certain "age" are doing non-shittily, it certainly isn't everyone.

Life doesn't necessarily go A+B=C, 1, 2, 3 -it isn't that way overall. Right now you have a "gorgeous house", enjoy it now. Also make it a priority to get rid of your debts to make yourself more appealing to lenders. Get on the HDC Housing List - they will put you off but it's your right and however infuriating the process stick with it - it helps prioritize you in the 'affordable housing'/shared ownership market.

I understand the situation with loads of people going for the rental properties situation - again just short term. Look around you, look at the massive estates going up in your area, it's a developers paradise.

YABU. You had the opportunity to buy a property, just not in the area you maybe would most like. But you made the decision to spend it being a SAHM instead, which is a valid choice, and one you were fortunate to have available to you. You can't have your cake and eat it though.

It sounds like you have so far been quite fortunate, and will have more to come with inheritance. Be grateful for what you do have. There will always be people who have more, but you have had a lot more opportunity than most people, so just be thankful what you do have and what is enabled you to do for the last few years.