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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

telling children how baby gets out of tummy

83 replies

ghostspirit · 24/07/2015 13:20

Just a general post really. i have always been honest to my children about how the baby comes out. when my 5 year old asked i told her some mummys have their tummys cut open and the baby is taken out. and for some mummys the baby comes out of the mums private parts.

someone i know feels their kids dont need to know that and told their children the baby comes out of the belly button. then my daughter told them it does not and told them it comes out of the private parts.

so im wondering if familys tell their children different things and then children like my daughter say no thats not true its like this...how do you deal with it? without causing any offence to the other parents.

OP posts:

seaweedhead · 24/07/2015 13:23

Surely if they ask anything about reproduction its best to just tell them the truth. There's nothing to be ashamed of!

5Foot5 · 24/07/2015 13:24

You don't have to deal with it. The other parents chose an approach that was bound to cause confusion in the future so it is up to them to deal with it.

starlight2007 · 24/07/2015 13:28

I had 2 friends pregnant when my DS was 5 ...I told him about the hole, then he spoke to his other friend whose mum was having elective c section... He had obviously been told the cutting so he was told both ways.

Yarp · 24/07/2015 13:28

Apparently, when I was 4, I asked, my mum explained, and then I explained to all my little friends, who were quite surprised it didn't exit via the belly button/from under a gooseberry bush/drop down from a cloud carried by a unicorn.

If they ask, I'd explain. Good time to mention the vagina, IMO

I don't think you can take responsibility for how others parent. I might mention that some parents don't tell their children things at the same time, so if a disagreement arises, not to worry about it.

It is a bit tricky, I admit

DioneTheDiabolist · 24/07/2015 13:29

Make them watch an episode of OBEM.* And remind them that that bit only comes after months of sickness, discomfort, constipation, worry and unpredictable emotions.

*I have not yet managed to get DS to watch OBEM.

PercyGherkin · 24/07/2015 13:29

Someone at DD's school has told their child (who told DD) that babies are made when the man passes the seed to the woman when they kiss at the wedding. When I'd recovered the power of speech, I corrected DD and I very much hope tbh that it got back to whoever it was.

Other parent can deal with it if they don't like the way human biology works.

BlueStarsAtNight · 24/07/2015 13:32

DS(2) asked this the other day, so I just told him the truth - I can't see the point of making something silly up like the belly button thing! If another child had been told something different though I wouldn't take it upon myself to correct them, I'd tell them to ask their mummy or daddy to explain it.

CrapBag · 24/07/2015 13:35

I would tell mine if they asked but as DC2 was a section, at the moment I think they both assume that is how babies come out. I will correct them if they don't ask in the future.

When we were getting our pets, I said it had to be 2 boys or 2 girls and the whole how babies are made question came about. I told them how babies are made. DD didn't take any notice (bit younger) and DS just said "oh ok" and that was it. I didnt tell him what it is actually called though. He is 7, some classmates still 6. All of my friends at school are surprised and said they haven't told their DCs in any sort of detail but I think it's best to be honest in an age appropriate way when they ask these things. I want the truth from me instead of a garbled version from the playground.

I was never told anything and shouted at at 15 for reading J17 because it said sex on the front. I would never have been allowed to ask anything either because I wouldn't have gotten an answer. I vowed to be open and honest with mine in what they ask.

Original poster

ghostspirit · 24/07/2015 13:35

dione my daughter loves one born. she sees all the huffing and puffing screaming etct then the baby is born and her face lights up.

OP posts:

Yarp · 24/07/2015 13:38

I cry every time the baby is born. Every time

Ginormarse · 24/07/2015 13:40

I remember dd asking me when she was 5 how her baby brother or sister was going to get out of my tummy ( I was heavily pregnant)
I told her that he/she would come out my my vagina. we discussed c-sections as a friend recently had her baby that way. Dd was very matter of fact when she announced that having c-section must be like coming out of the sunroof of a car and a vaginal deliver is like coming out of the boot
She then asked why her baby brother/sister couldn't come out of my mouth as this was a much nicer way to give birth according to her. I firmly believe in telling kids the facts when they ask.

HighwayDragon · 24/07/2015 13:44

A woman pushes the baby out of her vagina, or has an operation to take the baby out. This is what I told dd at 4yo, which was fine until she had a conversation with a pregnant lady at a surestart centre that I will never ever forget

Dd - is there a baby in there? (points at big pregnant belly)
Pregnant woman - yes there is
dd - is it a boy or girl?
pw - we don't know yet
dd - why not?
pw - because we are waiting till its born
dd - hmmmm (thinks) did you know that you're going to have to push the baby out of your vagina, I guess that's going to hurt A LOT!

pw - well, erm, yes

At this point I managed to usher her away

Original poster

ghostspirit · 24/07/2015 13:48

crapbag i remember just17 haha. my 8 year old asked how babys get in the tummy few weeks ago. i told him the female had an egg and the man has the seed.the seed attaches to the egg then it develops into a baby. Then giggling his head of he told me 'L' (my 12 year old) told him you do sex...i said yeah thats how the seed got to the egg

OP posts:

Misslgl88 · 24/07/2015 13:48

DD just asked this the the other day (she's nearly 7) I was honest and told her either vagina or c section. She also knows about periods ams why they happen but she hasn't asked how babies are made or anything yet but will be honest when she does ask

PeterParkerSays · 24/07/2015 13:50

Is your issue the fact that your DD is picking up on her friend having been told something different and saying what she's been told instead? I would just say that these things are explained to a child by their parents, so some children will have been told slightly different things. She can say what she has been told but then to move on and talk about something else if they've obviously been told very different things and the friend can then ask her mother about the difference

It would be the same issue if the DDs were talking about who they get presents from at Christmas. Children just need to learn how to handle conversations when the two participants have been told very different things.

SoupDragon · 24/07/2015 13:50

DSs were 5 and 7 when their sister was born. They did ask and I just said the baby came out of a special opening. I was prepared to go into more detail but that was enough and they didn't ask any more questions (including asking how she had got in there!)

TheFormidableMrsC · 24/07/2015 13:56

My Mum told me that I came out of her bellybutton .

I prefer honesty. When I was pregnant with DD, the two small daughters of my next door neighbour asked me how the baby was going to come out. I said she would exit from my "minnie". They looked horrified. Their Mum told me off and said she preferred them to think that the stalk came and left the baby. WTF?

Sandbrook · 24/07/2015 14:07

While pg on DS1 my then DD4 asked how I was going to get him out. I told her pushing out my vagina, she said Holy Shit... muuuuuummm?? What's for dinner?

emwithme · 24/07/2015 14:14

This is reminding me of a funny story my Gran told me.

She was pregnant when she got married the harlot (I only realised this when I was a proper grown-up, she commented how it would've been her 70th wedding anniversary with my granddad, and later that day my (eldest) Aunty mentioned the plans for her forthcoming 70th birthday. There are not nine months between the two and I can do sums and everything ) and asked my great-gran one day how the baby would get out.

Great-gran's response was fabulous: "The same way it got in, me duck"

Silvercatowner · 24/07/2015 14:19

Being slightly navel-phobic I cannot imagine why it is seen by some to be more 'acceptable' that babies come out of navels than vaginas.

2rebecca · 24/07/2015 14:28

If a child asks how a baby gets out of a tummy and granny tells her a stork delivers the baby won't the child then wonder how the stork gets the baby out of mummy's tummy and how mummy catches a stork anyway? That sounds a mad explanation that sounds much weirder than just pushing it out of a hole between your legs.

MerryInthechelseahotel · 24/07/2015 14:28

The same way it got in, me duck
Fantastic! I can just imagine her cackling as she said it!

TTWK · 24/07/2015 14:32

You need to be sure you've understood the question.

Child: Mummy, where did I come from.
Mummy: (long and age appropriate explanation of reproduction, followed by) what made you ask?
Child: Because Yousef in my class says he comes from Somalia.

meglet · 24/07/2015 14:36

mine have always been told they come out of a vagina or are cut out of a stomach.

TheMildManneredMilitant · 24/07/2015 14:46

Mine (4 and 6) both know how they get out, it didn't occur to me that others wouldn't also know this until mum of a friend of the four year old made a comment about her daughter knowing how babies came out even though they hadn't told her. Oops.

The 6 year old also knows how babies are made - we fobbed him off for a bit but it was only a matter of time after dh had told him his testicles made a special potion to make babies. God knows what possessed him but after that conversation thought it would be better he knew the basic facts. We generally tell them not to talk about it with other kids though.

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