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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

telling children how baby gets out of tummy

83 replies

ghostspirit · 24/07/2015 13:20

Just a general post really. i have always been honest to my children about how the baby comes out. when my 5 year old asked i told her some mummys have their tummys cut open and the baby is taken out. and for some mummys the baby comes out of the mums private parts.

someone i know feels their kids dont need to know that and told their children the baby comes out of the belly button. then my daughter told them it does not and told them it comes out of the private parts.

so im wondering if familys tell their children different things and then children like my daughter say no thats not true its like this...how do you deal with it? without causing any offence to the other parents.

OP posts:
Ineedtimeoff · 26/07/2015 11:48

evil tunnel Smile

GoooRooo · 26/07/2015 12:05

Haha @ evil tunnel. It certainly feels like that when they're on the way out Wink

Pilgit · 26/07/2015 12:36

I really don't get why people don't tell the truth about it. Okay a cleaned up and scaled down version rather than the full blood and gore. I described it as a special hole that the widened to let the baby out when it was time. Slightly backfired when in a bank DD 1 said in a very loud voice (she was 3...) "mummy that lady has a special hole. And that lady and that lady". Thankfully I was very pregnant.....

FanFuckingTastic · 26/07/2015 13:15

I just asked him what he thought when he asked me. From there I sort of guided him into it, he got that it takes a mummy and a daddy, and that mummies have the eggs, and daddies have the sperm, and that the baby grows inside the mummy in her womb.

But he still didn't understand the how of it and wanted to know. So I did a pointing finger and a circle finger on opposite hands, and said here's the daddy, he has the sperm, and here's the mummy, she has the egg and the womb for the baby to grow in. How do you think the sperm might get to the egg?

He saw immediately that the man put the sperm into a lady through his willy. I told him that is what we call sex. And he said Ooooo! that makes so much more sense.

And then I gave him the whole, sex is something grown ups can do, it feels nice, so sometimes when they love each other very much they could do it to make a baby, or they could use things that stop the egg and sperm from meeting, and just have sex as a way of loving each other and making each other feel nice.

He was happy with that and went back to playing on his Xbox.

I'm never too sure I get things right though, I have Aspergers and sometimes I am too blunt with information with the kids, because I tell them the practicalities of love, sex, marriage, masturbation, gay relationships, anything they are starting to become aware of and ask for clarification of. I sort of make it scientific and I know I don't explain the emotional part very well.

But I know my son is smart and might work things out very quickly himself (he reads a lot of factual books about anatomy/science/encyclopedic), and that telling him an untruth about things would be discovered, and I don't want them to feel like they can't ask these questions and get an honest answer. My younger daughter gets a less descriptive explanation, that is honest, but not inappropriate for her age.

Daisygarden · 26/07/2015 13:42

Agree that a very simple version of the real facts are far better than a made-up story that will only have to be un-made when they are older.

I say things about bodies etc nicely but matter of factly and although I'm not super serious, I discourage any sniggering or "urggh" responses - I say, it's just a body and that's what bodies do. It doesn't need to be joked about for children accept the facts.

shrunkenhead · 26/07/2015 14:07

We do have pet names for the penis and vaginas as others have said my dd shouting "VAGINA" in front of the v reserved gps wouldn't go down well. She had a strange idea that babies literally "popped" out of women's tummies which was concerning her somewhat so I explained they come from a hole between your legs. Didn't go into cesareans as no doubt the idea of bribebeing cut open would've freaked her out further!
She is 6 and as yet hasn't asked how babies are made....guess we'll go down the "special cuddle" route....

shrunkenhead · 26/07/2015 14:09

Being cut open not bribebeing! ?!

chrome100 · 26/07/2015 16:29

Just tell them the truth, it's biology! Nothing to be secretive about or ashamed of.

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