SAHM/P question? (personal)

[waitaminutenow]

Going off another thread and because I am extremely nosey...lol
My question is if you are a SAHM (or SAHP)...
How long have you been at home?
How many children do you have and what ages are they?
What does your OH do and what is they're pay (v personal I know!)?
Do you receive wtc ctc and cb?

I don't want this to turn into a bashing thread for or about anyone. It's genuine curiosity of how others live that is all.

I don't want to pay anymore tax, thanks very much. I'd prefer what I did pay was spent differently, and I'd prefer corporations paid their fair share.

oh my world - cannot believe the salaries on here

I wish I were a SAHM but cannot afford it. I am working 2 jobs (one office during school hours, one from home in evening and weekend). also carer for a severely disabled child and tired and nackered beyond belief... think I am going to cry and weep after reading this thread.

I became a SAHM when we moved overseas, several years ago.
DC are now 8 and 4.
DH works in scientific research. I don't know exactly how much he earns, between 30 and 40k.
We get the child benefit and family tax breaks which we are entitled to have here, (obviously we get no UK benefits.) They are more generous than their UK equivalents.

coff, don't cry and weep. As long as people have enough food and shelter they are often as happy as anyone with a lot of money. The things that make me happy are not being ill, no mental illness, fresh air, sunshine, moving, good whole foods, my children. Those don't differ too much whether you have £10k of income or £500k.
I really do think it helps teenagers though who are choosing careers to know what women earn out there as otherwise they might have too low expectations and ambitions in life so threads like this are useful. There is nothing special about me that I earn a lot that many other people could not have done had they planned it from their teens.

oh thanks red - I think I am just badly exhausted abd run dowb from essentially 3 jobs and I so wish I could just be at home for a year even to have a break.reading the posts was just eye popping. but then this is Mumsnet and probably not very representative.

[Hmm] how patronising. So coff should be okay with the fact that she is knackered, has a severely disabled child and is working two jobs and is still paying a higher tax burden than you proportionally because you have your health, good food etc?

The poor are screwed at every turn. The washing machine breaks down, they can't just buy a new one out of savings or their money in their bank, They can't even buy it from their interest free or cheap overdraft, they might have to go to somewhere like Brighthouse and pay double what it's worth, or take out a pay day loan at high interest. They may have to go without. They might even struggle to buy one 2nd hand as that requires cash and transport to get it home. Life is a struggle when you are poor and things like whole food, sunshine and health are not always available. A lot of people in poverty are there because they have disabilities, ill health, poor education levels, disabled children etc. They might be living in areas with social issues, working long hours for little reward. So maybe it's a bit difficult for them all to be weeping for the poor rich folk with their tax burden and 2nd hand car.

Okay, I did not say it is a bed of roses being on the breadline. I was just saying in terms of personal happiness studies show there is not a huge difference based on income so in a sense it doesn't much matter if someone is bathing in the milk of an ass in a bath with gold taps or scrubbing down in the local stream in a jungle abroad.

I have never asked anyone to weep for me - just to know I and many others pay loads of tax and we do not evade and avoid it. I do not even contribute to a pension which would give me tax breaks.

I do think there are lessons for our children thought - that if they want to avoid being short of cash realise some women earn hundreds of thousands and direct your career ambitions and university choices to careers where that is more likely than some other careers. There is always hope our children (obviously not those too disabled to get jobs) will do better (whatever better is).

I suppose the psychological question is is it better not to know. People in studies are found to be happier if they live amongst and have friends who earn a bit less. If instead you surround yourself with people who earn quite a bit more as humans are such a jealous lot you are less happy. if you earn more than those around you you feel happier.

Because children and teens from deprived backgrounds always have the opportunity to go to Uni and have choices in their career? And the secret to happiness is to live in amongst people who have less than you so that you can feel good about how much better you have it? I do get that jealousy is a terrible thing that can make your life a misery but it's a bit difficult for everyone to live among people less well off than themselves isn't it?

Before I go, yes we get that you pay loads of tax but proportionally the poor have a bigger tax burden than you.

Red i thought the studies about differences in income not affecting happiness were ONLY over a certain amount (something like 40 grand?). Enough to live with food, security and some choice etc. Before that an increase in money certainky brought happiness as it affects the basic needs - ie the ability to easily buy and cook while foods, ability to have a job that doesnt lead to me tal health issues. Exhaustion and poverty in themselves cause a lot of strain on mental and physical health.

Don't go yet Wanker, I'm interested to know why you think the poor (who qualifies?!) pay proportionally more tax than a HRT payer?

I'm not up to date with current tax thresholds, but presumably someone on 100k for example will pay at least 30k as tax, so 30%. What about someone on 20k, do they pay 30% of that back as tax? And in a low income you may still get various benefits which you wouldn't as a higher rate tax payer.

Please help me to understand, we do not evade and pay our taxes, but it's not often recognised that most of the taxes in this country are paid by a minority (shall go off to Google the stats...)

On a low income most of your money goes on the basics of survival, if you onky have 100 pounds a month disposable income, 25 from it will cut more harshly.

Tobikko, the tax burden on the poor is high because there are more taxes than just taxes on income. VAT is 20% for everyone, the poor have to spend pretty much all they earn, while the rich can invest. A lot of investment gains are now tax free or lower than 20%. Things like TV licences, road taxes and council taxes are not based on income.

It's true that high earners on paye are paying a LOT of tax. But we can't run the country without taxes and the poor are already contributing. Higher wages and a more productive economy would be the dream scenario.

If you refer to the link posted by another poster above it clarifies it a bit.

www.theguardian.com/money/2014/jun/16/british-public-wrong-rich-poor-tax-research

www.theguardian.com/money/2014/jun/16/british-public-wrong-rich-poor-tax-research

Posting again for Tobikko

As Whattodo says, income tax is only one of many taxes.

Every adult pays tax (for example VAT) even if they don't earn enough to qualify to pay income tax.

The poorest 10% actually pay a higher proportion of their total income out in tax of some form than the richest.

a lot of what our taxes go on is universal too. defence, infrastructure etc. It doesn't all go on benefits to the poor.

As well as the fact taxes fund infrastructure used by rich and poor alike (and in some cases more by the more mobile better off) there are lots of tax breaks on private and employers pensions and on certain types of savings and mortgage interest tax relief on buy to let investment properties as well as other tax breaks (you can claim back all sorts of costs against buy to let properties) that only benefit the better off, so a lot of people who claim to "get nothing back" from taxes just because they don't claim the more obvious benefits are being very disingenuous.

Ffs why can't these HELPFUL threads ever survive? Some bitter people just have to come and derail the thread. Sorry OP, it was a really good thread though.

Sorry nosy , do agree thread is helpful and did not mean to derail.

Ok, thanks for the clarification - tbh I hadn't considered VAT for example. I did see that Guardian article during a quick google after I posted, but equally there are numerous links to Telegraph and Daily Fail articles about how much (income) tax is paid by HRT earners. Can't seem to easily get a clear account, probably need a degree in economics too... sorry for the derail too.

Just what I was thinking nosey.

Red

There is no way I would encourage my dc to take a career that paid lots of money. I wouldn't want them to be shallow tbh.
Life isn't about how much money you earn it's about happiness and success, which imo doesn't come from having lots of money.
It's nice to be comfortable and not have to watch every penny obviously.
However, by encouraging our children into careers just for financial gain will harm their mh in the long term.
If their chosen career does attract high earnings then good for them, if it doesn't so what if they are doing what makes them happy.

futureme

Not necessarily, you can have a low income but have a far higher disposable income than somebody with twice or even 10 times as much.
It depends on your outgoings and your lifestyle.
We have very low income but with few outgoings there's a lot left over.
My friend with her and dh working ft earning 4x what we do are always skint.

I've been a SAHM for six years. We have a six year old girl and four year old.

My Husband is a partner in a law firm. Income is good but not rolling in it as we live in SE and have a hefty mortgage.

Futureme Totally spot on. And yes the line at which mental health and stress is no longer affected is around $75,000 or £40,000. It's not the same to be on 10k and 100k. It would be nice if it was but the cost of living in the UK is too high for this to be the case. So people on lower incomes suffer more MH problems, more illness, more stress which contributes to the former, and makes it harder to enjoy things like sunshine and children. Are less able to buy good quality food. It's a really nice theory and I agree money can't make you happy alone but it can make life run a lot more smoothly.