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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would this bother you? Nursery staff and Facebook.

68 replies

AHatOnACat · 20/07/2015 12:11

nc.
I'm Facebook friends with a few of the staff from ds nursery. He starts school in sept and they like to add some of the parents to see how the kids are getting on.

It was on of ds's classmates birthdays at the weekend. On Saturday, one of the staff posted a photo on fb of a little miss chatterbox toy, wrote 'present for one of our class, very apt don't you think?!' And tagged the other staff members. One replied with 'haha yes defo!'

The child's parents weren't tagged although I know the mum is on fb and friends with the lady who was tagged and who commented so will probably have seen it.

I know if it was about ds I would be a bit upset tbh, like they were publicly making fun of him.

Aibu to think it was a bit unprofessional?

OP posts:

CarolPeletier · 20/07/2015 12:12

Wouldn't bother me.

CookieLady · 20/07/2015 12:13

YABU. It's not a malicious comment.

StripeyTee · 20/07/2015 12:13

I think its unprofessional that staff are FB friends with parents, to be honest.

TwinkieTwinkle · 20/07/2015 12:13

Presumably the kid is a chatterbox and her parents would know that, given that they are, well, her parents. I don't think it is making fun of the child at all.

Ashwinder · 20/07/2015 12:13

I think it's very unprofessional that nursery staff are FB friends with parents in the first place. It absolutely wouldn't be allowed at DDs nursery.

The comment is very unprofessional indeed. I would bring it up with the nursery manager and ask for a copy of their social media policy.

Salmotrutta · 20/07/2015 12:14

YANBU.

Very unprofessional and not nice to be making a joke about a child in their nursery.

WayneRooneysHair · 20/07/2015 12:15

My wife is fed up of parents trying to add her on Facebook.

OP YABU.

Buttercup27 · 20/07/2015 12:15

Personally I think it's unprofessional to be friends with any parents on fb regardless of what you post.
In the situation where preschoolers leave for school I believe it is better and more professional to keep contact through a nursery fb page rather than personal.

ChristmasZombie · 20/07/2015 12:16

I don't have a problem with the photo or the comment, but I don't think the staff should have parents on their friends list.

mrsmeerkat · 20/07/2015 12:16

What is wrong here is the fact they are friends with parents but the chatterbox thing is inappropriate too (even though we all may think these things and that wasn't really harmful - we have to keep things professional)

Tinkerisdead · 20/07/2015 12:17

I work in a nursery and no way are we allowed to be facebook friends with parents and although the comment isn't explicit enough to identify. We'd get into trouble for a comment like that because it could be innocent but it could also be taken as mocking/teasing. YANBU

SaucyJack · 20/07/2015 12:18

Yes, I think it is unprofessional to have parents on FB and to be talking about the children in front of them.

However, I think the comment itself was pretty cute. No offence meant.

CrystalCove · 20/07/2015 12:19

Its not making fun at all.

Salmotrutta · 20/07/2015 12:19

Even if I knew my child was a chatterbox I don't think I'd be impressed at seeing a FaceBook post making fun of them from a nursery staff member.

And those nursery staff would go down in my estimation for publicly highlighting the characteristic of my child and for being FaceBook friends with parents.

Original poster

AHatOnACat · 20/07/2015 12:22

I think if the mum had been tagged it would be different, I'm told all the time that ds talks a lot and it doesn't bother me. It just seemed a bit like they were making fun behind her back iykwim

OP posts:

Hoppinggreen · 20/07/2015 12:26

While I don't think the comment was really nasty staff should not be friends on FB with any staff.
I used a cm for DS who I had been friends with for years, before she became a cm and she explained that she would need to remove me once DS started to go to her. When a new member of staff started work at the preschool DS subsequently went to who I knew well she also had to de friend me as it was company policy.
No matter what other relationships there are staff should never be FB friends with parents and should not discuss children online at all

RachelRagged · 20/07/2015 12:31

I find it unreasonable they are friends of parents on Facebook.

However , posting the image and little Miss Chatterbox is rather endearing I used to be called Titch (due to being tiny) but neither I nor my family were offended, we found it sweet.

I honestly think some parents nowdays need to find offence in anything . Probably my age.

flanjabelle · 20/07/2015 12:36

Yanbu, it's all very unprofessional and I wouldn't be happy with that as the child's parent.

Salmotrutta · 20/07/2015 12:41

Rachel - I'm at the Granny stage and even though FaceBook didn't exist when my kids were at school I would have been highly unimpressed if a staff member had done the equivalent thing - i.e. discussed my child with another staff member in a public setting.

Put it this way - if I went onto FaceBook and said anything about a pupil to another staff member I would, rightly, be in trouble. Even more so if a parent could see it or hear about it.

Its the same as having a loud conversation in public where anyone could hear me discussing a pupil.

museumum · 20/07/2015 12:41

I think the set up of having parents personal friends on fb with nursery staff is odd (IF you're going to use fb there should be a professional nursery page, not using individual staff accounts)...
but, i don't think calling a child 'chatterbox' is at all 'making fun of them' I think it's nice at that age to be a chatterbox. I'd be happy for my son to be called one. As it is he's probably more accurately called kamikaze!

LazyLouLou · 20/07/2015 12:42

Yet another reason I no longer teach and my sister soon won't be.

Not allowed to have friends on fb just in case they are or become parents. Really?

That reminds me, I must remember to email Ms Morgan and remind her to add that clause to the teaching contract "Dear NQT, please note thou must become Pariah, yea, a veritable social leper. Failure to ensure your Billy No Mates fb status will lead to severe ridicule and chastisement via Musnet (other forums may also apply)."

manicinsomniac · 20/07/2015 12:47

This thread is a perfect illustration of why teachers shouldn't have parents of facebook - some parents will take offence at anything and staff should be entitled to a personal life and jokes amongst themselves.

manicinsomniac · 20/07/2015 12:48

on facebook, that should say.

RachelRagged · 20/07/2015 12:51

Fair enough Salmotrutta, your opinion is as valid as mine.

Just couldn't get het up about it personally . If the childs Mum is friends of whom posted said picture and made comment then I assume (perhaps wrongly) its fine with Mum ? OP has the picture been up long or is it new ? Just if the Mum didn't like it or the words she could report it .

StripeyTee · 20/07/2015 12:51

I can't believe anyone who works in a school or nursery is genuinely aghast at the suggestion that teachers shouldn't 'befriend' parents (or children) in any way whatsoever, including on social media.

This is standard stuff for most school safeguarding policies.

It is completely unprofessional.

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