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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would this bother you? Nursery staff and Facebook.

68 replies

AHatOnACat · 20/07/2015 12:11

nc.
I'm Facebook friends with a few of the staff from ds nursery. He starts school in sept and they like to add some of the parents to see how the kids are getting on.

It was on of ds's classmates birthdays at the weekend. On Saturday, one of the staff posted a photo on fb of a little miss chatterbox toy, wrote 'present for one of our class, very apt don't you think?!' And tagged the other staff members. One replied with 'haha yes defo!'

The child's parents weren't tagged although I know the mum is on fb and friends with the lady who was tagged and who commented so will probably have seen it.

I know if it was about ds I would be a bit upset tbh, like they were publicly making fun of him.

Aibu to think it was a bit unprofessional?

OP posts:

Tanith · 20/07/2015 14:29

Of course it's not a safeguarding issue! I think some of you make up this stuff as you go along!

I don't see it as unprofessional, although you may think it is. Not even the Government has the right to choose my friends or to dictate how I conduct my life within the confines of the law.

I rarely use facebook, and never to post pictures of other people's children, but I am friends with many of my minded parents, past and present, and with some of my children's teachers, too. I certainly wouldn't mind if my daughter's teacher posted a lighthearted comment like this - she's as likely to say it to my face.

What a sterile, unfriendly world some of us seem to want. No affection, no friendliness, strictly hands-off...

manicinsomniac · 20/07/2015 14:33

You can add people on different levels, MNPostingbot

Where I work it would not be allowed to have parents as facebook friends.

However, some parents aren't just parents. I am a teacher-parent as are many of my colleagues. I have colleagues I am close to on facebook and I teach some of their children. But they aren't on the same permissions setting as many of my other friends - I set my profile up so they can see some stuff but not others.

I also have a very close friend of 10+ years whose daughter is now in our attached infant school. I haven't done anything about my facebook settings with her yet but when her child moves into the main school I will have to. I won't delete her though, just put her on a limited profile. Then you can stay in touch but also stay professional.

DancingHat · 20/07/2015 14:36

Yes it would bother me as you say it would feel like the child is being spoken about behind her back.

MiaowTheCat · 20/07/2015 14:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tanith · 20/07/2015 14:48

Miaowthecat!

throwingpebbles · 20/07/2015 14:51

Why can't staff become Facebook friends with parents, my children's key workers babysit for me all the time and it is far more than a strictly professional relationship (albeit they are very professional as well) and certainly we want to stay in touch as my children grow up, they are a big part of our lives

littlejohnnydory · 20/07/2015 14:54

I'm facebook friends with dd and ds' nursery workers from 8 years ago. This wouldn't bother me at all, it sounds affectionate and sweet.

Elsashmelsa · 20/07/2015 15:05

I don't think the comment itself is too bad because they are at nursery and it's good that they chatter a lot - I would have loved DD to be described as a chatterbox because she barely spoke, but FB is not the place to do it and I don't think it's wise to be friends with teachers/TAs etc over social media.

Having said that, it's a tad dramatic to use 'not being able to be friends with parents on FB' (in relation to a PP comment) as a reason to no longer be teaching, to me that says that FB plays much too big a role in your life!!

I chose to come off of FB altogether rather than block certain individuals who were constantly updating their status with 'Little Johnny has done so amazingly well, only DC in the whole World to ever get Exceeded in a thousand subjects' (slight exaggeration...).

I haven't missed it at all!

MamaLazarou · 20/07/2015 15:10

Storm in a teacup. Chatterbox isn't even an insult.

pudding25 · 20/07/2015 16:25

I have 4 very close friends, who have been my friends for well over 20 years. They then sent their kids to the school I teach in. I am still Facebook friends with them. However, I would never befriend parents of other kids I teach. Plus, I do not post anything about school or the kids I teach on Facebook. I would get shot by the Headteacher if I did!

I think these nursery workers are being very unprofessional.

ilovesooty · 20/07/2015 16:44

I think it's unprofessional for staff to have parents as Facebook friends while they're caring for their children. The comment was inappropriate and I'd be taking it up with the head of the nursery.

Original poster

AHatOnACat · 20/07/2015 16:48

The person who commented on the photo is the nursery manager.

OP posts:

ilovesooty · 20/07/2015 16:50

In that case I'd be taking it higher up.

Clayhead · 20/07/2015 16:54

Of course it's not a safeguarding issue! I think some of you make up this stuff as you go along!

The issue of staff having parents as FB friends has been covered on all the Safeguarding Training I've received for the past few years, it is very much a safeguarding issue.

tidalwaveover · 20/07/2015 16:56

So it's a gift for the child? So presumably if you think the comment is inappropriate then so is the gift?

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest impressed the nursery give birthday presents at all

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 20/07/2015 17:01

Chatterbox isn't an insult. That said, I agree with others that parents and teachers generally shouldn't be FB friends.

Original poster

AHatOnACat · 20/07/2015 17:07

I don't think the gift or the comment was inappropriate, I think putting the comment on Facebook, tagging other staff members but not the parent is inappropriate.

OP posts:

nemo81 · 20/07/2015 17:24

I would never be friends with dc teachers or day carers on facebook. Same as i have my own facebook on tight security as i don't want service users to try and add me, if they do the friend request will be ignored.

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