To think parents need to start parenting?!

[grumpasaur]

Dear Parents,

I understand that you love your children. I do. More often than not, I love your children too, and am happy to play with them and indulge their childish whims and imaginative fancies.

However, I do not understand why more and more, you are seemingly immune to the noise and disruption your children cause when you allow them to run rampant in predominantly adult spaces.

Kids make noise. I get that. Some kids make noise no matter how much you try to quiet them. However, you will get a significantly increased amount of support and understanding from me if I see you at least TRYING to keeping them quiet- again, in predominantly adult spaces.

When I see you calmly eating your sandwhich whilst your two twins run around the small café, talking loudly on the phone, screaming at each other, stomping their new shoes to show them off, and indeed even BEATING EACH OTHER UP, and I see you do nothing...well, I want to take your children, discipline them for you, and give you a proper telling off for being a shit-fuck of a parent. I want to give you a spanking and tell you to smarten the fuck up.

Parenting is hard. So I hear anyway. I chose not to have children because I do not wish, yet, to have to disrupt my life with the responsibilities of parenting.

May I calmly suggest that you respect my decision not to have kids just as I respect your decision to have yours. I'll help you as much as you need...really, I will, just ask my friends with children.

But seriously. This lazy parenting which impacts not only the way that your children are treated but also the way parents in general are perceived has got to stop. It's ridiculous, indulgent, irresponsible, and annoying as fuck.

Seriously. STOP IT.

Or go to soft play, where your kids can scream all they like and I am sip my coffee in peace, far far away.

My child was being a VERY NOISY T-REX whilst waiting for the bus today. The game did what it said on the tin. I deemed this ok because we were outside, it was a busy street.

When we got on the bus, we made the game VERY NOISY SILENT T-REX, which involved acting out noisy roaring with no actual noise. DC thought this hilarious.

It wouldn't have been ok for him to carry on ROARING at the top of his voice in the confined space of a bus. The OP, or anyone else would have been within their rights to feel pissed off.

Then maybe one day in the future when your child is kicking off because that's what kids do. you will remember this thread and cringe.

And you better hope there is not some smug twat tutting and thinking you are a shitfuck parent.

Confused given that you said he was having a meltdown and there was other behaviour accompanying it, it would probably be clear that him doing that was part of a meltdown, not due to you simply not bothering to watch him properly.

Look. If you had posted about the specific parenting you had witnessed - rather than generalising pompously to all parents - you might have a leg to stand on.

It's very 'society has gone to the dogs' which is a view I don't agree with. I'm sure you have seen many more incidences of great parenting, but you didn't choose to address that.

Confused- in all honesty, that sounds awful, and I would have just felt bad for you and wondered awkwardly if I could help without making the situation worse...

It's really different. I assume you weren't on the other side of shop eating a sandwhich and chatting to a friend / husband / etc whilst he was having his meltdown...it's like comparing apples and oranges I think!

Coasting it-

Yes, I have already agreed with your point and acknowledged my mistake multiple times now...

Confused-

Okay, tell me.

REGARDLESS of what "I don't know" is it acceptable for parents to allow their children to throw food on the floor and stomp on it AS A GAME without stopping it or picking up the mess, climbing on furniture whilst across the shop, touching food and pastries...

Really?

I get that kids may do this regardless of what they are told... But you would TRY, surely?!

Holy crap Twilight, you don't really believe that parents are selfless and people without children are selfish, surely? How does that work, then?

To be fair OP isn't judging all parents by saying everybody's bad. It's children running wild in shops, cafes etc. the entire time while parents are detached as I understood it. The thing is then, when somebody falls it's usually staff in these places that gets blamed.

So...everyone saying the OP is a smug twat (or variations thereof) - do you genuinely never think that parents could/should be doing a bit more to keep their children behaving appropriately?

I'm pretty relaxed as a mum, but it was my decision to have a child and I don't expect other people to have to deal with that decision as far as possible. I completely don't always get it right, but I do my best. I wouldn't ignore behaviour inappropriate for the situation, which I think is the only bit the OP is judging?

Thanks guys to the last three posters who are seeing the issue for what it was- I realise my opening post could be taken in a way I didn't mean, but the personal attacks and abuse being hurled at me are a bit much!

Ps Wideopen... Yes, that is the ONLY bit I was judging! Which I still think is kinda fair enough!

I agree Grump, no probs! Your post was tongue-in-cheek and to be fair you've explained repeatedly in a reasonable way. The nastiness you've had from some posters is OTT.

Thanks stay another day!

I knew not everyone would agree but am a bit shocked by the responses!

Jeez!

Aibu is known for being, shall we say, very direct but Mumsnet is getting nastier unfortunately. It seems to be a sport for some, who can kick the OP the hardest?! I just shrug it off and carrying on lurking/posting while they froth at the mouth!

confused I have a toddler. I don't think ignoring inappropriate behaviour is ok. HTH

I quite agree :-).

Confused- I know you are going through a difficult time and I am sorry to hear that.

As I have said multiple times now, your situation at John Lewis today was completely different than what I am describing- and whether or not I have zero children or five, I still would not have felt that the PARENTS behaved appropriately.

Not the children. The parents.

confused you are just being unfair now. As I pointed out earlier, just because op isn't a parent doesn't mean that she can't tell the difference between appropriate and inappropriate behaviour. Becoming a parent doesn't suddenly make you special and all knowing. In fact, from the attitudes of a couple of posters on this thread I would say it has made them arrogant and rude.

It is never appropriate to ignore a child standing on furniture and potentially injuring themselves.