To think MN is getting nastier?

[MaggieJoyBlunt]

So far this week we've had giving birth referred to as 'calving' (in the context of women having children while young). Someone loved that one so much they immediately commented on what a great expression it was and repeated it.

We've had someone propose that Prince Phillip should be 'humanely destroyed'. swiftly followed up by a similar suggestion about taking him out to a barn or a shed or some such and shooting him.

We've had a thread about the death of a convicted murdered where several posters queued up to tell us they were, smiling or "laughing gleefully" or simply to post "lol" as a one word comment. (Okay she was a vicious killer and will not be much missed, but really?)

Add to all of that the Budget threads where in the midst of people worrying and calculating the cut to their household budget, other people came to gloat and make helpful observations such as "If you can't afford DC, don't have them."

MN didn't used to be nasty. Vigorous, challenging etc; But not nasty.

What's going on around here?

Me. They ask all sorts of stuff like your occupation, income etc, then what you think is great about MN and what could be done better. I got an email about it yesterday. I think it was near the top of active convos yesterday.

Thanks Sunny, I'll look

It's the nice ones that keep me here TBH, will have to learn to blank out the mean ones though.

There's been a spate of some right arses, who clearly believe everything that has ever been written in the Daily Mail.

I'd say this is since just before the election. Quite a few goady fuckers about, but then, it is the holidays and teenagers have nothing better to do than troll parenting fora.

And I've noticed just a couple of posters who seem to follow others on to threads just to pick them apart. I just hit the 'report' button.

I'm not sure it's any worse than usual. It does seem to go in waves.

I've just joined, have only posted a few times and have already seen/read/experienced what I would definitely call mean and nasty and a lot of the time it pops up for no apparent reason. It's a real shame and I've experienced it on another forum too.

The sad thing is I think it prevents people from posting/replying with a valid opinion or question because they're terrified of the posters that will eat them alive.

That said, I've read a few funny posts and have found quite a few discussions really helpful. Also just knowing that not everyone thinks it's an acceptable way to behave (e.g by reading posts like this) makes me breathe a sigh of relief. Xx

Thanks Lovely, that's the quote. It's more a general point about the whining that goes on really Maggie, I realise that it probably doesn't stand up to intense scrutiny, even though The Fry said it

And yes, I remember the thread following on from the troll and the wedding dress. So I take it back, that was less than six months ago and was v funny.

Cru you are right about the inverse snobbery.

I miss the good old days of funny witty threads where everyone joined in in the spirit in which it was intended. Nowadays they are nearly always derailed by some sour puss picking on one word in a post and building up some kind of case from it and getting really defensive if other posters go 'oh come on.'

And no, I'm not defending prejudiced or ignorant posts. I'm just tired of every light hearted comment being jumped all over and twisted around by some bitter posters who are convinced everyone's out to cause offence.

Unanswered threads
I often look at unanswered threads because you never know what emotional state that poster is in, so if I can help or even if not, I'll post something to make that person feel better at least before anyone has a change to be negative.

*chance

I've just joined, have only posted a few times and have already seen/read/experienced what I would definitely call mean and nast........Also just knowing that not everyone thinks it's an acceptable way to behave (e.g by reading posts like this) makes me breathe a sigh of relief

I'm glad the thread did some good and isn't just a whinge

I realise that it probably doesn't stand up to intense scrutiny, even though The Fry said it

It does get trotted out be some hard-of-thinking types as a get-out-of-jail-free card. (Not you two I hasten to add.)

It' a shame, it was an original take when he said it.

Nursery spot on. Could not agree more.

I have seen some lighthearted threads turn into nothing but misery and nastiness, and it is a shame. Some of MN classics have come from the wit and genuine funniness on such threads, but they are too often leapt upon by the righteous these days.....

I think Mumsnet is just mirroring a wider social behavioural change.

I agree, sadly. But this is self-feeding, isn't it? More people see folks getting lots of positive feedback for being selfish, cruel, thick and bigoted - so they join in. It's always great to see a backlash against this, and to see 'good' shares; I reckon we all have a duty to contribute here! (Well, except the cruel, etc posters inevitably reading this.)

I honestly think the only reason Mumsnet seems to be getting worse even faster than society at large is that it's growing. Say 30% of threads have always been funny and/or supportive - it's harder to find 300 among 1,000 threads than 30 out of 100. And the other 70% are getting nastier.

I've had to sharpen up my "ignore & move along" skills. Still value the good stuff, though!

Quite a few goady fuckers about, but then, it is the holidays and teenagers have nothing better to do than troll parenting fora.

See I really don't agree with that.

Every school holiday the level of trolling does seem to rise, but it's pretty obviously done by adults who know the site pretty well, so probably bored regulars abusing the name change function. They know what buttons to push and they know the lingo.

I'm quite sure most self respecting teenagers would be off trolling Twitter/Facebook/Instagram or Digital Spy, but not parenting forums full of women bumping their gums

Worra most of the teens i know are on Snapchat and Instagram.

yes there is the MN 2015 Census floating around gently - currently sticky under Site Stuff.

I agree the goady fuckers aren't likely to be teens (though they do start some strange troll threads for sport), but maybe parents on a shorter temper, more frazzled than usual due to hols?

CENSUS

YY to "nastier and stupider"

I'm spending less time on the site because of it.

Census wouldn't load, crap tinterweb out here int sticks.

I've been here a while. There is a thread like this every couple of weeks. I don't think much has changed either. I was bullied by a poster when I started because one syllable was the same as her username and I apparently she owned said syllable. She followed me around for weeks making snarky comments until she admitted she was angry because nobody else was allowed to use any of her four syllables!

I do think that the forum is somewhat reflecting a change in society too. Before the election the left wing were extremely voluble to the point where there was a presumption that the left wing outweighed the right. Anybody who disagreed with people on the left was shouted down in no uncertain terms. I think a lot of people disagreed but were afraid to say so because they felt so outnumbered. There was also a lot of a different kind of bullying where if people didn't use the correct right on terminology they'd be crucified (I'm thinking about people who don't know they should say 'images of child sexual abuse' instead of CP which I suspect is most of the country that doesn't read the Guardian).

Then the election happened, the majority of the votes were for right wing parties (yes it was a majority if you conflate the Tories and UKIP). And people suddenly started thinking 'Oh, I'm not alone after all' and started feeling more confident about challenging what often appeared to be a left wing online consensus.

I have to say threads like these smack of a certain amount of bitterness to me. People who have controlled the dialogue and dictated the rules for a long time don't like the control being taken away and they're upset some of their power has been diminished.

I'd agree with Luis post of 15:18

Maggie - yes, it's definitely done some good!

I think you not wanting to whinge comment hits the nail on the head though. Surely a forum is primarily for discussing problems or concerns/asking questions we might not want to ask to people in real life/building relationships with people in similar situations to us etc...

If this is the case then not sure why the mean and nasty people that don't seem to EVER offer a kind word of support or valid piece of advice are even here in the first place??

If we all had fantastic lives and already knew the answer to every question we ever asked then I doubt forums would exist!

My point being - whinge away and hopefully there will always be someone to help you through

Worra, I did post that with my tongue in my cheek... honest. Should have put a smiley on the end.

OurDearLeader, yes, the majority of people who voted (so not the majority of the country) voted with the right. I am not bitter. I also don't see my power as diminished because I didn't think I had any to begin with.

It's not necessarily 'being shouted down' just because you lost an argument.

It's the same usual people and usual stuff, but it's got very OTT recently and quite mean. Sarcastic actually, instead of mean. Not sure.