Imheritance

[EWAB]

My son aged 8 has just inherited just short of £120,000 along with all of his first cousins from a much loved grandmother. Her nieces got a couple of grand. My eldest son her step grandson precisely nothing. She was loved and credited me with encouraging her to travel to see her siblings and she went to NZ with sister last year so no comments that we wanted her money etc. her three children however did expect to inherit but DP's siblings happy enough their children are inheriting [one able to buy outright house in university town}. However, it now appears that the niece has said that MIL arranged the will this way so DP would not inherit and my elder son would not ultimately benefit from her money! I asked my DP if we could arrange things to be more equitable ie leave more to older son. He refused wants his half of our assets to go to his son and my half to be split between both. He is upset and according to one of his sibs has approach sib with three children asking them to make things fairer as essentially instead of will being divided between her own three it was split 6 ways so ultately family with three children benefitted disproportionately. I am devastated for my elder son that he is financially worse off than his brother and for the future.y partner is clearly upset about everything but isn't sharing thoughts other than it was unexpected and he'd hoped to pay off mortgage! It has made me question everything about the grandparents who always seed nice.

Seriously... it was okay to do what the grandmother did.

In the world of 'modern families', there's a limit as to how much you can make all step-siblings "equal".

The OP is seeing this situation from her viewpoint only. Her elder son's dad might only be renting, but let's say he wins the lottery tomorrow and doesn't spend all the money. Does this mean that when he dies, apart from his son, he also has to pass on some of his money to the OP's other son with another man?

What if you have a family where both adults were previously married and have kids from all these different relationships. Their previous partners are also re-married, and their partners also happened to have had children from previous relationships, and so forth.

There could be dozens of children as a result of all of this. How could you possibly make sure them all to be equal?!? If someone from one branch of this huge family be a billionaire, should they pass on their money to kids they don't even know five branches down just because all these step siblings must be equal?!?

Get a grip, OP!

I wonder if the will just gave an equal split to all grandchildren, which is a perfectly sensible thing to do especially if the grandchildren are generally older (like the one who is planning to buy a house) and the grandmother thought her children were financially OK. She may not have considered the step child to be excluded, forgetting that he would not be legally considered as a grandchild or she may have thought of him as not her immediate family (which given that he is related neither by blood nor marriage isn't that unreasonable).

My db's ex had two children prior to joining our family and of course everyone was nice to them but they never did really become part of the family as they were a bit too old when db got together with their mum, and she didn't want to marry him or db to adopt or really play a full fatherly role. If there is another parent on the scene then that is even more the case.

Take that is a very risky stately re apportioning money from a trust meant for a trustee for another family member. How do you know that the OP and her DP (who aren't married) will behave with finances between now and when they die? There's a big risk that the money may well not be there to pay back the beneficiary of the trust.

Also the crux of the matter is that OP's DP wanted £120,000 not £20,000 to pay off his mortgage...

Reminds me of my DGF. When I was 9 my DM inherited a considerable amount of money (life changing) from her DU (uncle) who had no DC or DGC and was widowed. Her DF (my DGF) got a good amount of money but not the same as my DM. DGF was angry that he hadn't got the same from his DB (DU) and also that he hadn't been left a Cornish cottage where DU lived, he'd been expecting this cottage To be left to him as a retirement home for him. This was sold to a family friend of DU, the woman there had been a carer for DU but he'd had a crush on her (woman was married and DU was widowed) but he'd wanted them to buy the cottage. My DGF also made a fuss about very expensive diamond earrings that rather than be squabbled over were sold before DU died (and I think by their DF) to save arguments.... The main crux here is my DM wasn't well off at all, she struggled to pay her mortgage and had a falling down house, DU saw this when he came to stay, I think twice. My DM also looked after DU when he was dying and had a good caring relationship with DU whereas DU and DGFs relationship as DBs was always rocky. I think DU wanted to help us financially but also provide a safe haven for family antiques (DGFs home was ransacked by other relatives after his death but that's another story...!), DU was very wise.

What I'm saying re above is DGP in this situation have looked at the situation overall they know it far better than we do so they know all the intracies of it. Same as for us and all our families.

nooka reading between the lines it seems as if DGP knew about DP not favouring his eldest DSS and also that DP expected money to pay off mortgage.

They could easily have shared money between DC equally then this thread wouldn't have started, it seems petty to just omit DSS (eldest) in this way... I think DP (as some others have said) has been greedy and his DP saw through it all and knew the mortgage would get paid off and rest of money squandered. I think they also realised rising house prices and DGP lived in London so thought of DGCs future in this way which is very wise and fair.

It's very telling that in her OP she seems to think she's been 'nice' to DGM by being nice to her and not causing waves, encouraging DGM to travel to see family etc... Therefore her DP and his Dsibs deserved the inheritance! DGM may have seen through the 'niceness' and I do think there is more to this story than meets the eye. However OP won't come back to spill the beans so we're left supposing all sorts!