Or is Dh - evening meals

[CarolPeletier]

Dh decided to become vegan about a year ago. I have tried desperately hard to make interesting and tasty family meals but am really struggling.

Many of the recipes I find take ages and I have three small children so need quick and easy meals. It also dictates the rest of us either eat vegan every night or I make two meals.

Last night was the last straw. I made spag bol with soy mince, quorn has egg in. He complained it was too chewy and my cooking had gone down hill. I informed him it was my limited ingredients which has made my cooking, and meals for the whole family, go downhill.

I make homemade curries, tagines, skewers, pies, stews, warm salads... I'm no chef but feel I make an effort. Wibu to tell him to either eat dairy again or cook himself?? I am a sahm so feel pressure to put a meal on the table for when he walks in.

Honestly, I think if you have agreed as part of your set up that you will do the cooking then its only fair to accommodate his needs at least some of the time.

I would find 3/4 quick vegan meals and put them in rotation with 3/4 non vegan meals.

But his criticising your cooking is not on, at all, when you are going to the effort you are.

I suggest tofu stir fry, lentil soup and falafel in pitta with salad as some really easy/quick/freezable/tasty meals that are vegan.

So you've got three kids to sort out in the morning and he's got you faffing around cooking his breakfast?

He has to do no thinking at all about his veganism, does he? You cooking for him twice a day, a cafe at lunchtimes.

Your children certainly need more varied diet, tell him to sort himself out.

My DH is vegan but we are not. I sometimes cook for him and make myself and DDs something else but not always and he NEVER expects it.

You make him his breakfast?? WTF is wrong with toast.

Leaving aside the fact he has behaved like an arse even if he is tired and hungry and you are definitely owed an apology

I'd simply do a meal plan for the week ahead. Figure out which days/evenings are a bit easier [Saturday lunch for example while he looks after his children - assuming he can't cook at all] for you to produce a vegan meal, and the rest should be quick and easy meals for him to prepare solo eg - the vegan equivalent of a ham sandwich - I can't even come up with a single vegan suggestion. .

Then tell him that this is the new plan.

There's a few things on here but most of them I wouldn't consider to be small children friendly.
www.buzzfeed.com/deenashanker/satisfying-vegan-dinners#.pxmm8wQr2X

Or could you feed the kids at 5pm and then eat together later and share the prep and cooking a couple of nights a week ?

In the interests of compromise is attempt around 3 vegan family meals a week. The rest id cook dairy, eggs, even fish and meat if you want for you and the children in the interests of exposing the children to varied tastes and textures and he can sort himself out or have leftovers from the previous nights vegan meal.
Decide between you which nights are vegan family meal nights.

Tell him that you are home to mother his children, and you cook for them and yourself. In families where both adults work, somebody has to cook after a long days work. He has decided to become vegan, so he cooks his own meals, like other working adults.

You make him a vegan fry up every morning?

He has the life of Riley.

assuming he can't cook at all

Everyone without a significant and relevant disability can cook. They just choose not to.

Apart from tasting awful, Linda Macartny meals aren't generally vegan as often have egg / milk products in them

vegan fry up?

Whats wrong with toast?

Haha toast doesn't fill him up apparently. It's just a vegan sausage, couple of hash browns, fried bread, tomato and some bakes beans.
And yes, not many vegan ready meals, lots of hidden ingredients.
Have decided to batch cook some curry and tagine and let him warm them up a few times a week.
I normally 'mod' the meal for the children anyway to make it more balanced.

'It's just a vegan sausage, couple of hash browns, fried bread, tomato and some bakes beans.'

at 'just'!

Seems like you have 3 children to pander to and spoil.

He works very long hours in a very stressful job, without which I would have to work and leave my babies in childcare, so I do sorta owe him some sort of meal when he gets in and a decent breakfast. I know I work hard too etc, but really - if I had to work/leave my kids it would kill me. I guess I have a bit of an issue feeling I owe him...

Stop wiping his arse for him OP.

I understand the gold spoon treatment I do but what you're saying reminds me of a robust discussion with my dad years ago who was so smug about how well he was doing in his diet and how easy it was and how no one has an excuse etc etc. I pointed out that he wasn't preparing any of his meals or doing any of the planning and of course he was finding it bloody easy and was doing well because the mothership was doing the donkey work.

Tell your husband you will support him in being a vegan but he has to learn how to be one first on his own and the second a comment about your cooking leaves his lips he'll be doing it ALL on his own.

He needs to research and plan his dinners if you really want to cook all his meals.

Of course you love him and you want to make his life easier, but shouldn't that go both ways?

He changed his eating habits so it's up to him to either gratefully accept what you are willing to cook or do it himself, why does he think it's your job to scivvy for him to a list of his demands? Why do you?

You owe him nothing. His children are being cared for by the best person possible while he carries on with his career. He is a lucky man. You on the other hand, have no income of your own and are getting bossed around by someone who criticises your cooking.

It won't 'kill you' to put DC in childcare. Stop being so melodramatic!

You don't 'owe' him anything.

Do you actually live in Stepford?

Can you batch cook his food and freeze it? I know this is very laudable but I find this approach to cooking and eating a bit soul destroying.
Tell him to shove a bean sprout up his arse.

Tell him to cook his own. You have gone above and beyond by pandering to.him.this.far

We have vegan friends and family and shop bought ready meal rarely does the job - hidden ingredients are everywhere. Interesting to see the difference in attitude here as the last vegan thread I read the majority thought all dinner guests should accommodate the lone vegan.

My rule is that I will cook whatever you like as long as you find me the recipe and ingredients. If the demand is "anything but" then you can fend for yourself.

I am a SAHM Op and my DH gets up first so deals with his breakfast and all 3 DD. I take over for the rest of the day till bedtime once my cup of tea is made. It is a joint decision for me to stay at home with our babies while DH gets to escape to the workplace for the day. We are both equally capable of earning a crust so he is not doing me a favour by being the breadwinner. Seriously tempted to hand you a grip.

In my opinion, batch cooking isn't the solution, him pulling his own weight and not criticising you is.

Why do you owe him? I really don't get it.

I'm a SAHM, DH works long hours, stressful job blah blah. He still behaves like a normal human - ie. is able to prepare food, be polite when others have cooked for him, not foist his own faddy requirements on the whole family.