Or is Dh - evening meals

[CarolPeletier]

Dh decided to become vegan about a year ago. I have tried desperately hard to make interesting and tasty family meals but am really struggling.

Many of the recipes I find take ages and I have three small children so need quick and easy meals. It also dictates the rest of us either eat vegan every night or I make two meals.

Last night was the last straw. I made spag bol with soy mince, quorn has egg in. He complained it was too chewy and my cooking had gone down hill. I informed him it was my limited ingredients which has made my cooking, and meals for the whole family, go downhill.

I make homemade curries, tagines, skewers, pies, stews, warm salads... I'm no chef but feel I make an effort. Wibu to tell him to either eat dairy again or cook himself?? I am a sahm so feel pressure to put a meal on the table for when he walks in.

Yes, so much time to waft around the kitchen when you've got young DC. Does he ever cook or look after them?

If you are home during the day, you are obviously doing nothing all day , but you could maybe batch cook him some stuff and freeze it as a PP has said

I don't think it would harm him to make his own meal a few nights a week. If you can make a meal you can all eat then great, if not he'll have to do it himself.

Yanbu. sort yourself and kids out and he can cool something fir himself if he's going to whinge about what you make.

If you want to be vegan fine but don't let him force you or the kids.

I love vegan food but if you don't want to then don't. and he can cook fir everyone at weekends a vegan meal when there's time

There has to be a compromise - he sorts his own food out 4 times a week, say, and you do what you can to accommodate him the rest of the time. But every night when you have small children is just way too much pressure on you.

Let me guess: religion.

And while he's made a choice to be vegan, he's effectively taken away your choice not to be vegan - it isn't fair.

my cooking had gone down hill

THE MINUTE someone says this, is the minute they start cooking for themselves.

sort your self out, your children out and leave him to sort out his own food.

he is being an almighty TWAT in this

It also dictates the rest of us either eat vegan every night or I make two meals

Yes if you are a doormat/surrendered wife/fool and you sound a bit brighter than that op.

There was some bloke on the radio the other day who was being interviewed about meal replacement food sounds bloody grim who breezily mentioned that he had turned to the shakes because his wife didn't want to cook his faddy food. I thought him a cock and a lazy one at that.

If he wants to fanny about being vegan then he does the cooking. I wouldn't wish soy mince on my worst enemy and often these disgusting foods are full of salt to try to make them palatable.

OP you also work long hours looking after the house and the children that he fathered. By being a SAHM you are enabling him to work those long hours.

He needs to eat what is on offer or cook for himself. He could batch cook at the weekends.

I think that every night from now on you make him a plate of boiled veg with a sprinkling of nuts his preferably and make what you want for you and the kids. He gets a vegan meal with little effort and you get a tasty omelette massive steak. If he doesn't like it he can make his own.

With the others, you cook for yourself and the DCs, say you don't want to be vegan and don't want to raise the DCs vegan, sometimes you'll be making vegan food, he's always welcome to eat what you're having, but can sort himself out from now on.

I think that every night from now on you make him a plate of boiled veg with a sprinkling of nuts

Can of beans. Cold. Dumped on the plate.

Sorry what? Are you his servant? You being at home all day does not mean he gets to order you about like he's your boss.

Make dinner for yourself and the kids and tell him to sort his own vegan masterpieces out. I'm sure seeing as he thinks your efforts are so poor that he can do a million times better himself.

Utter dickhead.

I'd put a lone carrot on his plate. A big, fat, nobbly, unwashed one.

Regarding cooking, he should gratefully eat what he is given or make his own, so you can go back to cooking what you normally would for you and the DCs.

Out of interest what does he do for breakfast and lunch?

Wow - wasn't expecting such a unanimous response... You guys are ruthless!!!
You know, I do love this man, for all his faddy annoyingness, and don't want to deliberately upset him. I am mildly proud at him for his healthy lifestyle, I just don't want to have to share it lol!!
I will do some batch cooking and have a chat with him. Thanks for all the advice.

I don't think it's fair to impose a vegan diet on you and the children.

Protein is a very important part of our diet and although it's perfectly possible to find sources of protein via pulses etc. protein from lean meat, fish, eggs and dairy all have their place in our diet, especially the diet of growing children.

I was brought up on soya products due to a misdiagnosed dairy allergy. I now, at the age of 32, have thin bones. I'm doing my best to correct this by eating lots of leafy greens and plenty of dairy but the damage is already done and I'm prone to stress fractures just from walking as well as various other issues.

Your DH is incredibly insensitive to criticise your cooking given that the reason it isn't great is that he has made a lifestyle choice that places a huge burden on you as the cook.

Cook some nice, balanced non-vegan meals for you and the children and give him a plate of crudites and a pot of hummous. If that's not good enough for him he needs to batch cook lots of portions of meals that are acceptable to him when he has time at the weekend so that all you have to do is take one out of the freezer and cook some rice to go with it.

I can't believe his cheek!

If this was a toddler refusing to eat the dinner you'd cooked would you happily make them another meal?

Or would you put your foot down, and say that they eat what you've cooked or go hungry (and then let them have something boring and plain to fill their tummy just before bed.. but I'm soft)

He want to be vegan, he can sort that. You cook a dinner, leave out whatever bit of it is vegan for him to supplement himself. Make veggie curry or whatever every now and again to be nice (although someone commenting on my cooking as if it was a duty wouldn't make me feel nice), maybe freeze the leftovers for when he's too knackered to cook too.

Oh and I make him a vegan fry up every morning and he goes to a local vegan cafe at lunch.

I'd put a lone carrot on his plate. A big, fat, nobbly, unwashed one.

snort

x-post. Many would disagree about his choice being that of a 'healthy lifestyle'. The healthiest lifestyle is one that involves a balanced diet taking elements from all of the food groups.

Vegans can eat very well but it is a huge commitment to making the effort to eat as varied a diet as possible within a limited range of foods.

When he chose to go vegan did he discuss with you whether you would be happy to cook for him?

But he cooks you all a nice non-vegan fry up at the weekends, and you all go out for lunch right?

Or is this one of those situations where you get to do all the accommodating?

Tell him he cooks for himself from now on. Cheeky fecker.

If he wants to be faddy he can be faddy by himself. He should not be imposing it on the rest of the family, especially growing young children.