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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you've ever experienced a house get out of control

362 replies

atthelake · 12/07/2015 10:33

That gives a weird image of a tantrumming house but the truth isn't so funny.

House is disgusting. Repulsive, awful, dirty. I just can't seem to manage it. I used to be able to. Now I'm struggling so much.

I'm talking washing up on the dirty sofa and piles of dirty clothes and crisps trodden in carpet upstairs and bathroom full of clothes and cat wee (thanks cat) and empty bottles and half full bottles of drinks and tin openers in lounge and cobwebs and muck and dirt.

Am i trying to have my child taken off me or something? :)

I semi confided in a friend yesterday who said she had found it hard until she went on ADs.

Is this the answer? When I've taken them in the past I just felt flat but maybe I didn't try the right ones or for long enough.

It's getting me down, it's getting everybody down but it's as if I cant. Sometimes I make some vague attempt to clear some rubble but it barely makes a dent.

OP posts:
Wannabechic1 · 12/07/2015 21:32

oh and if it helps, my DH once came home from the pub to announce he´d seen a cat on the stairs... (we don't own a cat) I obv thought he'd had one too many, but imagine my shock when I found the cat sitting on the stairs to our bedrooms a day or two later.

We had a hard time chasing it out as it had made itself at home, in a cupboard among my childrens woolies!Blush

MIL laughed when she found out and said next time we'd find a cow.
Don't get me started on the day that house was a tip and ex-military FIL dropped by while I was out, and 8 year old DS let him in and promptly went back upstairs to his room giving FIL a full 10-15 minutes to survey the pigsty mess. I was so mortified.
I'm truly happy that I've learned about the Kondo method just so I no longer have to live in dread of unannounced visitors.

Original poster
atthelake · 12/07/2015 21:32

What happens is I will go in the bathroom and get undressed and leave clothes there and cat will wee on the clothes Blush but not anywhere else. So it does go - have got rid of that now.

Thanks so much for your help, I wear latex gloves when I clean cat litter although I've always had cats so I think im safe.

OP posts:
fuzzpig · 12/07/2015 21:42

Can I join you? My house is totally out of control. I have a chronic illness, and several years of mental health issues so it just spirals so quickly and it seems totally insurmountable. I can't physically manage a huge declutter all in one go, so I have to do it in small bursts, but it just reverts to chaos so quickly.

I have rejoined the FlyLady thread - they're a lovely bunch over there :o - but I will join you for mutual support in an intense declutter if I may. As intense as I can manage anyway!

slithytove · 12/07/2015 21:43

Chances are as well if your cat is an indoor cat, you'll be ok.

How are you feeling atm? When is DH back?

Original poster
atthelake · 12/07/2015 21:49

He's here now then he will come back on Friday, I am in bed again.

OP posts:
Mintyy · 12/07/2015 21:55

Why are you in bed again? If it is because you are too tired to stay up then that means there is something very seriously wrong with you - do you see? so you must see the GP urgently.

Original poster
atthelake · 12/07/2015 21:59

It's just lethargy minty. I do get woken up stupidly early by DD and then I get really tired by mid morning and often doze off for an hour or so.
In bed now as im just comfy to be honest.

OP posts:
MaggieJoyBlunt · 12/07/2015 21:59

Do you sleep well at night?

Original poster
atthelake · 12/07/2015 22:00

Yes but get woken up v early

OP posts:
answersonapostcardplease · 12/07/2015 22:01

Mintyy, did you miss the bit about op being 38 weeks pregnant?

answersonapostcardplease · 12/07/2015 22:02

And its 10pm... Hardly early. All the postcard family are in bed too.

Original poster
atthelake · 12/07/2015 22:04

It feels earlier as its still quite light doesn't it? :)

OP posts:
Mintyy · 12/07/2015 22:06

No I didn't miss that answers.

But op has had a sleep today. Sleeping all the time is not normal, even at 38 weeks pg.

I'm not trying to make the op feel bad about being lethargic, I'm just hoping she will see her level of lethargy is NOT normal, infact it is a common symptom of severe depression. And she needs to be under the care of a GP for it, that is all.

I happen to think it is not at all helpful to "there, there" op and tell her it is all normal. Because it isn't and she needs to find support from somewhere other than on Mumsnet.

answersonapostcardplease · 12/07/2015 22:08

Mintyy you are talking rot. Of course its normal when heavily pregnant. Leave off.

Pixel · 12/07/2015 22:14

Our cat started weeing on clothes and it turned out she had cystitis so you might want to get that checked out (weeing in inappropriate places is a symptom in cats apparently). Also, if it helps put your mind at rest, I was worried about dealing with cat litter trays when I was first pregnant. I mentioned it to the doctor and he was very reassuring, said as long as I used good hygiene (gloves/disinfectant etc) then the risks were really very small. He even looked the statistics up in his medical book to prove it to me!

Mintyy · 12/07/2015 22:15

But I'm really not talking rot Answers. Sorry if that annoys you.

I have been 38 weeks pg and looking after a toddler largely on my own due to dh working away a lot. And had a 1 year old cat with litter tray to take care of. Plus I was 41 years old at the time. My house was often very untidy but I hadn't got to the stage of having rubbish and mouldy food piling up.

The level of fatigue op is describing (where she can't even sit up, or deal with the cat litter tray to prevent cat from pissing on her clothes on the floor) IS completely abnormal and she should see her GP.

answersonapostcardplease · 12/07/2015 22:17

We'll have to agree to disagree.

I have 4 dcs and felt like crap when heavily pregnant as do lits of people

Seems to me, your just being unkind.

Mintyy · 12/07/2015 22:21

No, I really really am not being unkind. Try and see what I am actually saying in my posts.

VeganCow · 12/07/2015 22:23

The cat peeing on clothes on the floor is normal. I have had several that have done it. Move the clothes and it stops. If you can at least tip the dirty litter into the bin and top up, and move the clothes off the floor, the cat will wee in the tray, but they do need clean litter.

MaryBerrysEyelashes · 12/07/2015 22:24

Even I snoozed at the end of my first pregnancy

I never snooze

answersonapostcardplease · 12/07/2015 22:24

Ok Mintyy.

Back to op, can you keep the cats outdoors and confine to one room when indoors?

Please let mumsnetters help. Baby could come any day.Flowers

Nanny0gg · 12/07/2015 22:32

OP - I hope you wear gloves when you do the litter tray, because being pregnant, you really shouldn't be emptying it.

I have house cats and they really don't help the state of the house :-(

Please go and get yourself checked out at the doctors.

Mintyy · 12/07/2015 22:39

Oh dear Lord, what a lot of FUSS about emptying cat litter trays.

Wear gloves. Wash hands. It is so so so simple.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 12/07/2015 22:42

Op, if you have no one in rl, please let a mnetter help, and tell your Gp how you are feeling. I'm sure a kind mnetter would be happy to help, anonymously. Lets be honest, at 38 wks a whole house clean is going to be hard on your own.

RedDaisyRed · 12/07/2015 22:49

If you're 38 weeks pregnant just rest. The house doesn't matter.

If you weren't and you are asking "how do other people" manage,. One mthod many of us use is called equal marriage. Both work in the couple and both do as much at home. It is in my view the key to keeping things sorted out - a penis does not preclude you from being equally responsible for the house Has worked for generaitons in our family actually - at least 3.

Assuming that doesn't help you I think it's a personality thing. I was the one with my books in dewey classification order and all numbered as a teenager. Some of us just love order so put that above a lot of other things.

Third thing that helps for those of us with children who work full time is employing a cleaner. Working full time can be a useful way to deal with all these issues actually.,

In terms of the practicalities of keeping tidy - I never go upstairs or come down without a huge lot of things I am bringing down, bowls, plates, washing. I never leave a room without tidying an item in it so we are talkngg about 10 times a day I might go upstairs and if I see anything out of place I pick it up and bring it down. It is very hard to do any of this though if you have toddlers around as there is just no time so just relax.

'
It als helps to have many many fewer possessions. We clear and take to the charity shop every regluarly. I Have taken about 30 black sacks of stuff there and 2 full car loads to the council tip in the last 6 weeks alone.