To ask if you've ever experienced a house get out of control

[atthelake]

That gives a weird image of a tantrumming house but the truth isn't so funny.

House is disgusting. Repulsive, awful, dirty. I just can't seem to manage it. I used to be able to. Now I'm struggling so much.

I'm talking washing up on the dirty sofa and piles of dirty clothes and crisps trodden in carpet upstairs and bathroom full of clothes and cat wee (thanks cat) and empty bottles and half full bottles of drinks and tin openers in lounge and cobwebs and muck and dirt.

Am i trying to have my child taken off me or something? :)

I semi confided in a friend yesterday who said she had found it hard until she went on ADs.

Is this the answer? When I've taken them in the past I just felt flat but maybe I didn't try the right ones or for long enough.

It's getting me down, it's getting everybody down but it's as if I cant. Sometimes I make some vague attempt to clear some rubble but it barely makes a dent.

Hi Love

yes - only just seen your thread - I have watched my house get out of control. I was pregnant and pretty ill and on my own, and it all just fell apart.

No one took away my children. It began to get better after the baby was born. Part of the issue can be physical, partly it can be the layout of the house or the way things have been built, eg having damp areas or broken kitchen units or worktops that can't be cleaned properly - things like that make your life a massive load of work with little reward.

It can help if you try and get to the bottom of why it's so hard to make it look clean or nice, and if you can, rearrange things so that they are more intuitive - so something basic like keeping shoes near the door where you need them, so they don't tread dirt in, and maybe putting a few tiles on a wall where it gets splashed a lot.

It gives you hope when you start to make small improvements.
We have moved now and I still feel terribly guilty at the way the children had to live when I was pregnant. It was horrifying really.

But now our house is lovely - it isn't finished yet, some walls still need painting, floor coverings haven't been put down yet and I'm still trying to tile the bathroom but overall, the basics are there and it is easy to keep clean. There are piles of stuff everywhere but gradually I'm finding a place for stuff and putting it there.

I will say one thing though - I got rid of our cat when I was pregnant. We had rescued her when she was nearly 5 and had her for 10 years, and she went to another home, because she was also weeing on the bath mat and climbing up to eat our food and so on. We had changed our back door (the old one didn't shut properly) but couldn't put a flap in it so dealing with a litter tray, a worried cat and the pregnancy and children was impossible.

I felt bad but she went to a lovely home and things improved dramatically as I didn't have that one extra little 'person' to take care of. I still pay a standing order to the cat sanctuary that found her a home as it makes me feel less guilty.

I wish you all the best - please don't be ashamed, if you do have anyone come to help. It's the sort of thing a lot of people really enjoy - and especially if they have been there themselves, they will totally understand. Honestly I'd have taken my own children away from me during that time because of the state of it. But it DID get better and I bet you anything once you're not pregnant, youll get some of the energy back.

xxxxx

x posts about puss! Sorry.

Fabulous, lake.

Just keep going with that. A bit extra every day, and implement the things that mean it doesn't fall back into that state.

Here's some to brighten the house a bit, for you.

Well done Lake, it sounds like you have made a fabulous start! You should be proud that you have faced up to it.

I understand re the cat as we kept ours after he had destroyed four sofas

People are forgetting that the range of normal during pregnancy, particularly late pregnancy, is very wide. I'm not a daytime napper, but slept constantly during my first pregnancy and was OK with 1 nap a day during my second to help compensate for the insomnia, but at 38 weeks was managing very little physical because it triggered Braxton Hicks - I just about kept up with hyperactive DS1 while DH was at work and most meals were courtesy of those nice folk at M&S.

Well done at what you achieved yesterday and good luck with today . Lots of little bits make a big difference - just 5 minutes every hour and you're getting there

Atthelake nice one xx I'm sorry if the tone on this thread is a bit hectoring. I really truly think its well meant.

And I salute you for standing by your cat :)))))))

Great stuff, OP. Little and often is the way to go.

I dont think the puss is incontinent btw, cats wont go in their own mess so just try to keep on top of replacing it :)

Have you considered a self cleaning litter tray? Might not be perfect, but it'll ease the load a little bit.

atthelake keep the cat, thats what you want. Just try and empty poo out daily, filng the whole thing into a binbag weekly and replace litter. And try and keep clothes off the floor.

Well done, try and do little and often and sleep as much as possible.

Sorry if you have covered this but have you got everything for baby ready?

Hi OP. I hope you're feeling a little better today. You should be very proud if yourself fir making a start. I find starting to tidy the hardest thing. Regarding the cat wee. Washing powder is very good for neutralising wee smells and, I don't know how you are financially, but I use 'Worlds Best Litter' as it's really easy to clean. The wee clumps and you can flush it down the loo, so you don't have to fuss with bags. If you keep it in the bathroom and just give it a quick scoop when you're using the loo/bath, it doesn't feel like a chore. Good luck fir today. I'm now going to fold and put away a weeks worth of laundry that's sitting on my kitchen table then taking the bags of my darling late husband's clothes out to the car for the charity shop tomorrow. I stopped sorting the good and bad clothes out and will apologise to the shop for the mixture but it was another job to have to cope with. They've been cluttering the landing for weeks and I know if they're in the car I have to take them in order to use the car.

You know what OP? Thank you for starting this thread as you've been a great help to me. All these lovely posters here have taken time out to post and I've read your posts and those of others, which have made me realise I'm not alone in my chaos. So thank you.

I am really sorry to hear about your husband

Thank you atthelake It's still very raw and his illness and death is part of the reason my house has turned to shit.
We can both do this lake. You've given me the incentive I need, as I owe it to my dn, how lives with me and has severe SNs. We both have to believe in ourselves. I'm going to sign off now and get stuff done. Tell you what, you come back tonight and we'll let each other know how we both got on.

P.s I don't mean that in a competitive way. You're so heavily pregnant that anything you do is fantastic!

No I didn't think tou sounded competitive just amazing :) xx

Sorry for your loss stay

I'd also like to say thank you for starting this thread and thanks to all the motivational tips from everybody.
I've got quite a bit done today, stuff that I've been putting off or things I usually leave to DH to do. I feel much better for making a start

I'd like to add my thanks Op - this thread has helped me today too xx

I know exactly how you feel op. My house got so bad that I was reported to social services. The fear of losing my son gave me determination to change and I started a bit at a time. My son stayed with my mum and it was torture, but once I started to chip away at it I felt more positive.

What put the icing on the cake was my son coming home, and the first thing he said was the house was beautiful.
I still have days when I really can't face it and boxes of junk to still go through. I found having company to chat to whilst I cleaned helped me to keep my concentration.

I hope things get better for you, the biggest mountain can be warn down over time, so chip away a bit at a time.

Well done op and stay.

Post everyday about what you've both achieved and we can help celabrate each small victory with you.

Surfaces dusted.
Lounge tidy
Kitchen still not great
Bathroom still unspeakable
No rubbish in bedrooms but lots more junk