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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have said this

71 replies

Fedupofcar · 11/07/2015 07:04

Yesterday my car started smoking. I pulled over at a small co op supermarket. I am completely dependent on my car for work, I also have no money.

A woman was getting out of her car as I was getting out of mine and started laughing and said ooh that doesn't look good.

I just looked at her and said nothing as she laughed and then said curtly "I'm pleased you are finding this so funny."

She said "do you want any help?" and i was both cross and annoyed at her laughing and at the situation and td her to no, I'd hate anything to interrupt her amusement.

Today I don't feel so good about the incident as I don't think she meant any real harm. But do people not think at all that the car breaking down means I'm done for? Sad Her laughing made me feel rubbish.

OP posts:
QuiteLikely5 · 11/07/2015 07:08

Exactly. No malice was intended. Let it go and focus your emotions on more pressing issues.

RachelRagged · 11/07/2015 07:16

I agree with QuiteLikely5 Let it Go , You realise yourself you over reacted at the time .. However I also see how it must have left you , your broken down car and her initial laugh ,I don't think any nastiness was meant .. Move on OP Hope you sort your motor.

MyPelvicFloorTrainsItself · 11/07/2015 07:22

YWBU

Ejzuudjej · 11/07/2015 07:42

Yanbu.
What on earth is funny about a car breaking down?

Original poster
Fedupofcar · 11/07/2015 07:48

Well that was sort of my thinking and its all very well turning my attention to more pressing concerns but I can't work without a car and I have no money so tbh there's nothing to consider.

OP posts:
fastdaytears · 11/07/2015 09:13

It's not that she thought it was funny. There's some weird laugh people do which is sympathy like "oh my god what a day" type laugh. YWBU not to let her help if you wanted help.

Original poster
Fedupofcar · 11/07/2015 09:14

There was nothing she could have done but some kindness would have been nice!

OP posts:
sooperdooper · 11/07/2015 09:16

I hate it when people comment unneccesarily on things like this, you weren't unreasonable she was annoying

Passmethecrisps · 11/07/2015 09:17

Having lost numerous hours of work in the last year thanks to an ailing car (thank you supprtove employer!) I genuinely do understand your ayre at her.

She will not have meant harm and obviously realised her laugh was misplaced by offering to help. However, you were upset and reacted. Nothing you can do about it now.

I am sorry about your car - it is awful when you can't rely on your car.

Passmethecrisps · 11/07/2015 09:18

Oh and on balance YWNBU but I don't think it made anyone feel better. I would just have cried

chickenfuckingpox · 11/07/2015 09:19

she might have laughed but she did offer to help some people have a nervous laugh

LilyMayViolet · 11/07/2015 09:24

I have a friend who laughs at EVERYTHING! It's so incredibly off putting sometimes and inappropriate. The thing is it's a habit of hers, she's really not trying to be rude. This woman was trying to make some sort of connection with you and she then asked if you needed help. I know the laugh was irritating but she clearly didn't mean any harm! Hope your car is ok now, I've had a few like that and it is indeed a nightmare.

AyeAmarok · 11/07/2015 09:37

She was being kind to speak to you and offer help. You were quite rude, but I'm sure she understood you were just stressed.

ThisTimeIAmMagic · 11/07/2015 10:54

Your second comment was petty. She didn't mean any harm and offered to help. Unfortunately she didn't realise you were going to be in difficulty and probably didn't consider your stress levels. Hope you get it sorted Thanks

AliMonkey · 11/07/2015 10:56

She was probably just trying to show some sympathy. DH says I do a nervous laugh in such situations though I've never heard it myself!

ImperialBlether · 11/07/2015 10:59

OP, if you work for a company they may lend you the money to get the car fixed, since you can't do the job without it.

CactusAnnie · 11/07/2015 11:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Todayisnottheday · 11/07/2015 11:31

She was trying to show sympathy in a perfectly normal, usual and acceptable fashion. You over reacted and were rude. Key to success is recognising that your situation is no one else's fault or problem. Taking your mood out on random strangers is not nice, why bring her day down just because yours sucks?

LeftMyRidingCropInTheMortuary · 11/07/2015 11:45

My sympathy lies with you, OP. Not with some daft bint for whom that was probably the most exciting thing that happened all day!!!! Bit like the "vicarious grief" thread the other day when people insert themselves into others' drama.

Hope you are feeling better today.

theendoftheendoftheend · 11/07/2015 11:50

I doubt she meant any harm, my BIL laughs as he speaks all the time, not because anything's funny I think it's his way of being friendly.
No point fretting about it now, sounds like you have enough to worry about as it is

Original poster
Fedupofcar · 11/07/2015 11:54

Thanks. I'm sure she didn't mean any harm but I now have no way of working which means I have NO money.

So I wasn't really thinking about whether she had a nervous laugh or not.

OP posts:
LeftMyRidingCropInTheMortuary · 11/07/2015 12:12

OP, at least she might think twice before interfering again!
So you did a favour for the next person having a bad day in her vicinity!
Don't be so hard on yourself.

cardibach · 11/07/2015 12:18

Interfering? Dear God civilisation is over if offering to help (even if I a slightly annoying way) is seen as interfering and something that needs to stopped. We're all fucked.

LeftMyRidingCropInTheMortuary · 11/07/2015 12:22

Laughing is not helping!
What was she going to do to help? Was she a mechanic?!
She was interfering and enjoying the drama!!

Original poster
Fedupofcar · 11/07/2015 12:24

She only asked if I needed help after I said 'I'm pleased you're finding this so funny' cardi. She'd been pissing herself before that point Hmm

OP posts: