To have said this

[Fedupofcar]

Yesterday my car started smoking. I pulled over at a small co op supermarket. I am completely dependent on my car for work, I also have no money.

A woman was getting out of her car as I was getting out of mine and started laughing and said ooh that doesn't look good.

I just looked at her and said nothing as she laughed and then said curtly "I'm pleased you are finding this so funny."

She said "do you want any help?" and i was both cross and annoyed at her laughing and at the situation and td her to no, I'd hate anything to interrupt her amusement.

Today I don't feel so good about the incident as I don't think she meant any real harm. But do people not think at all that the car breaking down means I'm done for? Her laughing made me feel rubbish.

She could have just ignored you and your predicament, OP. Maybe that would have made you feel worse. You were rude; it was possibly understandable. What are you now going to do?

I would have preferred to be ignored lying.

Obviously there's no way she could have known but I am so screwed and her standing there laughing just made me feel worthless. And yes I KNOW that's unreasonable because she didn't know - but I am now totally and completely ruined.

I'll have to get another job and that's not easy with no car - bus fares and journeys and then learning the ropes all over again and I'll lose money and I just have shit all and she laughed

well it depends on the 'laughing' doesn;t it - laughing in an 'oh dear chin up the worlds not ending' supportive way or sniggering nastily

sounds like you over reacted OP but you where stressed and upset and she'll get over it

hope the car is fixed

Yes I know, but you know that she didn't mean anything bad against you and it was a sympathetic acknowledgement. What are you practically going to do? Do you have family/friends who can help you? Give you lifts? Can anyone look at the car to see if it's less dreadful than you might think it is? Anything going jobwise locally just to tide you over whilst you look for something more suitable?

There's absolutely no one who can help, and the car is going to cost a few hundred to fix that I just don't have.

I'll just have to start looking for a new job asap but it's not unfeasible I could have NO money coming in till end of August even if I get a new one straightaway.

Like I say, I'm screwed.

"if you work for a company they may lend you the money to get the car fixed, since you can't do the job without it."

Is this possible, fedup? Assuming you're a good worker, they won't want to lose you and go to the trouble of recruiting and training someone else. You do sound very down and are seeing the worst in this situation. Explain to your employers and fingers crossed they can help you find a solution.

If you need the car to travel to and from work, you might be able to find a way to car share for a while. If you need it during the course of your work, they really should help you out.

As for the comment, you cannot change it now. Just remember if you're in a similar situation in future that snapping back at someone made you more miserable. Maybe try a different approach e.g. if a stranger is laughing at your misfortune just quietly say "actually, I really need this car and this is very upsetting for me." Then you've not done anything wrong or unpleasant and if they carry on laughing, well they're a tosser and not worth the time of day.

You weren't being unreasonable..I'm sure she meant no harm but when your in a frustrating situation some random stranger laughing is just plain annoying.

Stop focussing your upset on her. She was trying to be sympathetic in a cack-handed way.

I don't think all the people on here agreeing she was being mean is helpful, is it? That's not the point.

What's wrong with the car? If you don't know, maybe ask for advice on here - I think there's a car forum on MN, and I'm sure mechanics lurk. Or have a look online elsewhere. It may not be as bad as you fear

X post.

Gabilan yes you are right I should have said that but I was pretty annoyed especially as her laughing had made people stare!

The work I do is based in the car, it's not as simple as just getting a lift.

It's not that I'm determined to see the worst in the situation is that the situation is really bad.

Are you a member of a Union? My union (Unison) has a hardship fund/ might be able to help in some way

No but thanks :) it's only a zero hour minimum wage kind of job but I so need it!

OP, that's a start actually, even though it doesn't sound it. Your job might be car-based but as Gabilan suggests, speaking to your employers might mean that they can modify your job for a while, make you more office-based perhaps?

You know that you're in a precarious situation so get yourself ready to sign on/get your entitlements and allowances in place and ready 'just in case'. Obviously keeping this job would be the ideal scenario but work out what you will do in the event that that doesn't work out as planned.

Are there any local jobs that you could apply for that don't require a car or are within easy travelling distance?

No it's not like that lying - I can't just swap between car and office, my entire job is based on driving.

I'm not entitled to a penny. Can't claim jsa cause I'll have 'left' this job. No DCs and single so not entitled to tax credits. Believe me I've been here before and it is not pretty.

All I can do is get another job but I've no money in the meantime.

"It's not that I'm determined to see the worst in the situation is that the situation is really bad."

That reminds me of the time I told a therapist that the reason I catastrophise is because shit keeps happening I appreciate the situation is bad BUT, I don't think it has to mean you changing jobs. PP have made good suggestions for ways of finding money or fixing the car cheaply. Are any of those possible?

Politely meant but ive already explained they aren't.

OK, well I hope things get sorted for you OP.

Don't worry too much about the comment you made. You can't change it and you were stressed.

Right, so assuming that your situation is critical, can you get to your GP to be referred to food bank? I don't know if they deliver, I expect they can because not everybody has transport.

Can you ring to get some advice from this link?
www.welfarerights.net/benefits-guides/Income-Support

Is there any possibility of community loans, NOT a loan shark, I mean the ones where they will loan up to a few hundred pounds? That might work to help you get your car on the road again and keep your job?

I'm assuming - I don't know why - that you have no access to credit but if I'm wrong, can you trade in your car and get a newer one that payment is deferred for a few months?

I'm sorry for the questions, they sound trite to my ears and I can hear you sighing from here but, now you know what you CAN'T do, what CAN you possibly do?

I'm hoping that more posters come along to advise you rather than offering 'hope your car is fixed soon' advice, which isn't helpful.

Fedupofcar - try getting in touch with your local council or CAB. Although crisis loans no longer exist, local councils can still provide some financial help for emergencies. You don't have to be on benefits to be eligible, although they will restrict it to genuine emergencies (e.g. new roof required, house being flooded, boiler breaking down). No guarantees, but if your car is a necessity to see you in paid employment, I think you could make a good case.

Good luck.

No, I'm not sighing :) if I sound fed up its not because people are kind enough to help! I'm just low about the situation. I mean fold banks are possible but they don't deliver and plus it's 3 days, and honestly there isn't much available for people who don't have children or other valid reasons for not working, you're just expected to get a job which is fair enough! It's just the actual practicalities. For instance I am paid weekly, so say I get a job that pays monthly in the next couple or weeks I could have no money till end of August so no way of getting to work!

It's all just rubbish. Don't know what to do!!

I think CAB would also be a good bet for advise on benefits. IME Job Centre staff seem to be trained not to tell you what you might be entitled to. (They did it to me when I was self employed. I wasn't entitled to JSA and they should have known that, but they let me apply for it and didn't tell me about the things I might have been entitled to).

Trust me on this one, if you're not disabled and if you don't have children, you're entitled to nowt!

Just jobseekers and not in my case as they say I've left.

"if you're not disabled and if you don't have children, you're entitled to nowt!"

How much worse have they made it then? The last time I claimed was 2 years ago. I couldn't get JSA because being self-employed but having no work and no money coming in doesn't, according to the DWP, mean you are job seeking. What they didn't tell me was I simply had to fold the business, and then I could have claimed. Plus, although you couldn't immediately claim if you "voluntarily" made yourself jobless, you could claim once you'd been unemployed for 6 weeks. Which I appreciate doesn't help you for the next 6 weeks.

I did manage to get housing benefit but at the time that was separate and came from the council. I am able bodied and have no dependants but as I say, this was 2 years ago and I know the unmitigated cunts that pass as a government have made things worse.

I would go to my GP in your situation, OP. They would rather offer advice/help now than treat you for depression later. Ironically, depression can be so debilitating that other avenues of help may then be available.

We have a very messed-up benefits system in the UK; nobody should be able to fall through the cracks but single/no kids does seem to equal 'no help' and it's crap.

Well yeah exactly the next six weeks are the pressjnf tkme, maybe I could claim jsa after that but I still have to get through. It's always been this way really, nothing to do with the government in charge.