To put newborn on formula?

[BumWad]

Just a bit of background. DS who is 6 weeks old arrived at 32 weeks, his due date will be this Sunday.
He was in SCBU for just over 4 weeks, has had no issues apart from working on the feeding. Apart from a bit of formula in the first few days before my milk came in he has has breastmilk and I have now been ebf for nearly 3 weeks.

It's not all rosy at all. He's got reflux so is not keeping a lot down, except as soon as he's sick he wants to feed again. I am utterly, utterly exhausted. He's putting weight on but the feeding every 1.5-2 hours is killing me. The actual 'feed' is ok however I have to burp him then keep him upright for 30 mins afterwards which then makes it time for the next week.

Alongside this he's on Ranitidine 3 times a day, dalivit once a day, iron once a day and folic acid once a week. He's been prescribed gaviscon too but vomits that up too! I administer all these via a syringe and it's really taking away the job from breastfeeding.

I have lots of breastmilk frozen as I was pumping round the clock when he was in SCBU but this will eventually run out. I just feel so guilty about giving him formula so soon. Another thing that is constantly on my mind is that breastfeeding reduces the SIDS risk, I've had a previous stillbirth so I'm on edge with that as it is.

I guess I don't know what I'm asking but I'm getting to the end of my tether here. Any advice/support would be appreciated. DH is going to try and give him breastmilk in a bottle tonight so will see how that goes. I've got a wrap but he's not big enough to go in it yet, I've ordered a swing got a bouncer etc.

*I would like to add that in my circle of mum friends (another poster made me think about this) a couple of the children who were/are breastfed are actually poorly more often than all of the other children in the group.

I mean at least every 4-6 weeks there is a sniffle or bug or a virus of some description. Formula fed children are as healthy and in some cases possibly healthier than those breastfed. That tells me that while breast milk is nutritionally superior to formula it isn't actually the be all and end all.*

Gosh there is so much wrong with this post.

What annarose said ! Most steralisers hold six bottles done in 2 minutes stay steralised for 24 hours. If you're out and about you can make up a bottle before going out and leave it in a bottle warmer which conveniently fit in the changing bag. Really not a gaff at all

"Gosh there is so much wrong with this post."

Why, she's right...

Statistically BF is better than FF, but you absolutely can't tell by how healthy an individual child happens to be which way it's being fed.

BF I s

Why not start having somebody give a bottle a day of your frozen bm while you get some rest.
When that runs out you can decide what to do based on how he's getting on with the bottle.
A bottle of formula is quite a change from a bf for a baby whereas a bottle of bm is less change.

Hmmph, stupid phone.

BF isn't the be all and end all, other things can and will affect individual babies.

Is it at all possible to discuss approaches to infant feeding without using terms like "breastapo" or "nazis"? Or are people genuinely wanting to compare people that are insensitive/pushy in promoting breastfeeding to evil murdering fascists?

Try it. You can always go back. Or do half and half. Supply is not as fragile as people think, it really isn't.

Additionally - we live in a first world country - you are absolutely perfectly fine to use formula if you want to.

Please do whatever is right for your family and shut down any guilt, "you should"s, well meaning advice givers, anybody who is black and white on the issue.

Oh, you have my sympathy. I was desperate to breast feed, my son had reflux and i was exhausted with the constant feeding. I felt terrible guilt, but it was my health visitor who persuaded me to try bottle feeding. Her exact words were "i think its terrible the pressure women are put under to breast feed these days, its creating a lot of very unhappy mums".
My son was eventually prescribed infant gaviscon to be added to his bottles which helped massively. This was 14 years ago, so i'm sure the medication prescribed these days different.

Anyway, do whatever makes you a happier mum, put all the guilt aside and ignore the hell out of all the negativity and pressure. Doing what's best for your children can sometimes mean doing whats best for you.

Hang on - just clocked you said he's too small for the wrap. Who has told you this? I would double check. I had always heard that kangaroo care is extremely beneficial for premature babies, and a wrap sling is one of the best ways to do this. I'll see what I can find out.

Is it at all possible to discuss approaches to infant feeding without using terms like "breastapo" or "nazis"? Or are people genuinely wanting to compare people that are insensitive/pushy in promoting breastfeeding to evil murdering fascists?

I've reported those posts, hopefully they will be removed.

Thickened formula does the same thing as gaviscon, it thickens everything, (and hence why you get constipation). Is the ranitidine dose being increased with his weight? If you feel it's not working the next drug of choice is omeprazole. Both my DC had reflux so I sympathise. My DS ended up with a cows milk protein allergy. It is possible, even now as it can take time to develop.

jeportemonbebe.com/en/faq/can-i-wear-my-premature-baby

www.boba.com/kangaroo-mother-care

mobywrap.com/pages/faq#Q2

community.babycenter.com/post/a23271991/pics_of_babywearing_a_preemie_in_a_moby_perhaps_-_also_cooler_wrap_for_summer_suggestions

I really struggled to feed my now 11 week DD as she had tongue tie. I became utterly depressed and exhausted and felt terribly guilty for switching to bottles and giving her formula along with some ebm. Both my midwife and GP said it was far better that she had a happy Mum who had energy to engage with her rather than just being a feeding machine. I dont regret the decision and as her and I have just enjoyed a morning swim and a walk this afternoon I dont feel guilty any more. Do what is best for your family, including yourself!

I wasn't able to breast feed DS however, he did have bad reflux and being able to put the gaviscon in with his milk helped massively.

As long as your child is fed and everyone happy and less stressed you should do whats right for your family.

YANBU

that's about the size of it

I had a 32weeker with reflux. I would try formula for a few days but keep expressing. Only way to know if it makes a difference for you. I ended up mix feeding, comfort milk + omeprazole + gaviscon worked best for Dd. I expressed and used breast milk during the day and used a thicker mix as the day wore on. She was also never flat - bouncy chairs, bed blocks, sling all helped. Good luck OP. It does get better, I think by 4 months she was sleeping 12 hours a night & 2 naps a day. I miss those days!

Of course yanbu, but if you do it make sure it really is what you want. Forget about comments from mil people on here, etc make the right decision for you and your baby. There is a lot of pressure to give up bfing I think

Before I get accused of being the brestapo I ff both of mine

YANBU

My DS has awful reflux. I switched to formula feeding so that I could get some rest, and because I found it far easier to administer his medication that way. It was by far the best decision I could have made: I look back and feel very sorry for the exhausted, stressed out new mum I was when trying to BF. BF is held up as the gold standard, but for women like me and my baby it just didn't work. Be kind to yourself, and do what you think is best for you and your baby.

Stop beating yourself up OP. I was giving night bottles by 3 months and had all but switched by 6 months. It is sooooo good to get a night's sleep. Look at the bigger picture, stressed out mum, face contorted with anxiety or chilled mum singing a lullaby. If it helps you to mixed feed, then try it. If it doesn't agree with baby, you won't have dried up so quickly that you can't revert. We are meant to be enjoying our babies but we perhaps over process advice and it is probably doubly hard if you've been through SCBU. Things will work out I'm sure. Parenting is always a bit of trial and error.

DO IT!
YANBU at all. I was in your position 9 years ago. God it was awful. The 2oz feeds every two hours sent me crackers by 6 weeks old.
The best thing I did was accept that this parenting malarkey wasn't going to be plain sailing and then passed my DD to DH to feed.

for you OP. It will get easier.

Both my preemies were mixed fed. Ds was 32 weeks and dd was 35 weeks. I used to mix ebm with formula and give it to dd to bulk her up.

Any road, formula isn't the demons milkshake. If it makes you feel any better, look on it as medicine that your child needs.

You aren't going to be doing yourself or your child any favours if your cream crackered beyond repair by the end of the first coupled of months.

First just let me say, feed your baby how you like, and don't feel guilty for using formula. It is not poison.

My twins were born at 36 weeks and were not gaining weight because nursing took so much effort. After speaking to an LC, I ended up feeding them formula through an SNS tube that I held against my breast while they breastfed, so they were taking breastmilk and formula at the same time. It gave them the additional calories they needed to grow and get better at nursing.

One of my twins has reflux and takes Zantac twice a day through a syringe. He also has terrible gas. I have comety given up dairy to see if that helps and it seems to be helping the gas somewhat. I bought a Fisher Lrice SnugaMonkey electric swing on doctor's advice, and he sleeps in it now, swaddled, with pacifier and white noise machine. He even sleeps in it at night. It keeps him slightly upright. He loves it and goes right to sleep. It's such a relief for both of us.

I so had severe pain while nursing and we found that my smaller twin was causing part of the problem because he had a very small mouth and shallow latch. Now he has formula part of the day and I will go back to nursing him as he gets bigger. Maybe you could consider mixed feeds and pumping to protect your supply while giving yourself a little break.

Hang in there, it gets easier.

FF is fine.

Mine both had reflux, it's awful and relentless - but it does stop eventually.

HRTwholeT, so am probably repeating several posters, but I just wanted add to the support.
Don't overthink the formula thing; it will do no harm at all and you need a break - your mental and physical health is important too.

My son was born @ nearly 34 weeks via section. He also had silent reflux. I breastfed him no problems. I tried formula on the odd occasion - it wasn't the answer.

Yay! Applause! Cheers!
WELL DONE THAT WOMAN!!

My sons were born via C-section. One had full-on sicky reflux the other had silent reflux. I used formula from the start with both - it was the answer.

Haven't read some of the more emotional replies, but I found that reducing my dairy intake really helped dd with her reflux as she had been vomiting a lot until then. I found out alternative sources of calcium etc (green leafy veg etc) so I was fine nutritionally. I'd have thought it'd be easier to do this and bf to solve the reflux, as I understand formula is based on cows milk?

The other thing is that I'm so sorry you're having to feed so frequently, it's really tough, I'm guessing this is due to baby's tummy size as a premie? Ime they do calm down the feeding a lot as they get bigger and can hold more milk in their tummies, the terrible sleep deprivation does pass.

Good luck with whatever you decide x