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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to pay her for a party she threw

408 replies

ahphoque · 06/07/2015 21:04

Last week I was visiting a friend and she had been invited to a party by a new friend of hers. I had previously met this friend but don't know her particularly well ikywim. Anyways, since my friend had only recently met this woman, she asked me to go as her plus one and so I went along with her. The party was quite dull and the woman throwing it was a bit off with my friend and rather rude towards me so we left after an hour or so.

We didn't have anything to eat (she had laid out crisps and the like) and brought a bottle of (rather expensive) wine each aswell as flowers.

This morning I received a text from party woman demanding £5 to cover the cost of the food she laid out. Now there were at least 60 people in attendance and there is no way she spent £300 on food.

AIBU to not pay her as I didn't eat any of the food and already gave her flowers and wine?

OP posts:
50ShadesofNope · 07/07/2015 11:27

There has to be more to this. Surely?! No one could think this is acceptable regardless of whether the +1 was invited or not! although I'm glad it has happened because this thread is cracking me up. Sorry OP!

Redandtingling · 07/07/2015 11:29

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Your crisps were cheap

And so are you.

Grin
honeyroar · 07/07/2015 11:33

Even. If you're wierd enough to be angry about a plus one you take it up with the person that brought them, not the actual plus one.

OP empty the contents of a cheap bag of crisps, a couple of nuts and a cheap sausage roll into a Jiffy bag and send them off to the Crisp lady, with a note saying " instead of being charged I have decided to simply return what I ate. Here is my address for you to return the flowers and wine, then we're quits."

Then send a note to the friend that took you, saying "don't take me to boring parties run by lunatics and expect me to pay ever again!!"

maggiethemagpie · 07/07/2015 11:43

Send her a packet of 10p Tesco value crisps toward her next party. no wait, Tesco is too good for her better make it lidl.

SunnyBaudelaire · 07/07/2015 11:49

excuse me Maggie, but LIDL is way classier than Tesco.
Can't wait for update....

FarFromAnyRoad · 07/07/2015 11:51

Only two words are necessary in your response.

One of them is phoque and the other is off.

My invoice is in the post! Grin

Wishful80sMontage · 07/07/2015 12:01

Op have you responded yet? Update please?!

JonSnowKnowsNowt · 07/07/2015 12:05

Is the party-thrower a non-native English speaker? Something about the 'must' in the wording of the text made me think it was the way that a Russian/Ukrainian person might write.

Let me hasten to say that I don't think any of my Russian/Ukrainian acquaintances would send such a bizarre message in this situation, but if, for example, they were collecting money for a group charity event or similar, they might word it that way, which would sound a bit rude to an English person.

TheRealMaryMillington · 07/07/2015 12:11

Are you sure it was a "party" and not a "fundraiser"?

RhiWrites · 07/07/2015 12:21

My OH suggests that the friend who brought OP to the party ate a whole chicken from the fridge and the "pay up to avoid awkwardness" message is to disguise the fact she blamed it on the OP.

Aussiemum78 · 07/07/2015 12:24

"Haha great prank! For a second I almost believed this ridiculous message was really your weird friend. "Sing for me!" Bahaha, what a crazy"

CuttingOutTheCrap · 07/07/2015 12:25

Ask for a breakdown of the £5 charge and confirmation that she'll provide a vat receipt!

Sazzle41 · 07/07/2015 12:34

What Mrs Koala & KrystalHaze said. Unbelievably grabby.

Athousandtrees · 07/07/2015 12:42

This is crazy! As many pp have said just when you think the grabby/crazy/lunacy cant get worse, it drops to a whole new level!

JonSnowKnowsNowt · 07/07/2015 12:54

I think it must have been a fundraiser too, surely. But your friend should have covered the cost of you and her, if so. And the party-giver should have contacted her not you if she didn't.

DeladionInch · 07/07/2015 12:59

"Who are you and how did you get this number?"

nilbyname · 07/07/2015 13:02

Can't take my eyes off of this thread!!!

butterfly133 · 07/07/2015 13:03

there must be a misunderstanding here, too surreal otherwise!

CornChips · 07/07/2015 13:09

placemarking for OP update. :)

SummerHouse · 07/07/2015 13:15

Look just pay up FGS. Life is too short for all this shit.

.....then break into her house and let her find you making a complicated sandwich. She will of course ask what you are doing... "Oh. Just getting my fiver's worth."

Original poster
ahphoque · 07/07/2015 13:17

Okay so:

  1. Definitely not a charity event or fundraiser, just a gathering
  1. mutual friend says she didn't give her my number and I believe her so no idea how she got it
  1. I've been in contact with another woman who was at the party who I vaguely know, she texted me to ask if I had gotten a bizzare message from crisp lady as she got the same one, she says she brought a token gift as well (biscuits) so it seems crisp lady is picking and choosing who to charge
OP posts:
FryOneFatManic · 07/07/2015 13:20

I think this is really odd Confused

I vote for Cain's reply. It's to the point without being rude, putting the ball into Crisp Lady's court.

SandStorm · 07/07/2015 13:21

Please, please, deduct it from the cost of the wine and flowers (as suggested by a PP) and send her a bill for the balance.

Seffina · 07/07/2015 13:22

If your other friend didn't get a text, send crisp lady a message saying you'll give it to your friend and she can pass it on when she pays her way too. Makes everything nice and awkward Grin

butterfly133 · 07/07/2015 13:22

ah, thanks for the update. Sounds like a crazy person trying it on to see if she can make a profit. Bizarre.

but why does your mutual friend think you should pay? The "avoiding awkwardness" excuse doesn't fly. It gave me a huge laugh, but it doesn't work!

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