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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to pay her for a party she threw

408 replies

ahphoque · 06/07/2015 21:04

Last week I was visiting a friend and she had been invited to a party by a new friend of hers. I had previously met this friend but don't know her particularly well ikywim. Anyways, since my friend had only recently met this woman, she asked me to go as her plus one and so I went along with her. The party was quite dull and the woman throwing it was a bit off with my friend and rather rude towards me so we left after an hour or so.

We didn't have anything to eat (she had laid out crisps and the like) and brought a bottle of (rather expensive) wine each aswell as flowers.

This morning I received a text from party woman demanding £5 to cover the cost of the food she laid out. Now there were at least 60 people in attendance and there is no way she spent £300 on food.

AIBU to not pay her as I didn't eat any of the food and already gave her flowers and wine?

OP posts:
wafflyversatile · 07/07/2015 00:48

I wouldn't trust someone who demanded I sing for her then billed me for crisps to be able to tell the truth about the invitation tbh.

And again, again, if the OP's friend wasn't allowed to bring someone else then that is something to bring up with the friend not the OP.

Babymamamama · 07/07/2015 00:48

Yes it is nuts I agree but she's certainly trying to make a point about something. And I honestly don't believe she's asking all her actual invitees for the same fiver. Sorry op you've gone through this. It's a cautionary tale about being a plus one.

minkGrundy · 07/07/2015 00:56

Are you aute the message is from crisp lady. If she doesn't have your number presumably you don't have hers.

Might be some new elaborate internet scam to get money out of recent party attendees your mate havin a larf.

minkGrundy · 07/07/2015 00:56

Sure not aute!

Iliveinalighthousewith2friendl · 07/07/2015 01:10

I'm kind of Envy of you. GrinSounds like it was great but party. Wish I'd have been invited. Into her ridiculously fantastic company, mind you. Just how much excitement can s person take.Grin

maras2 · 07/07/2015 01:13

Please let this be real and run and run a la Gluezilla thread a while ago.Best post shag laugh we've had in ages.Smile

MrsKoala · 07/07/2015 07:14

MUST? woah, that's a new level of rude. Each time i think i've read the nadir of grabby social behaviour on MN something much worse comes along. Who. are. these. people? .

I think, all joking aside, i would reply something along the very direct lines of how rude she is being, how much the wine and flowers were, that you were invited as a +1 of her friend, and how embarrassed she should be by this dreadful demand.

I would then make it go viral. (no idea how you do that, or even what that is tho)

plutonimum · 07/07/2015 07:18

If she hadn't been rude at the party, I'd think someone had got hold of her phone and was trying to make her look bad (maybe another pissed-off plus-one who wants to put a stop to CrazyCrisp's ghastly parties?).

seaweed123 · 07/07/2015 07:25

I think the friend knows fine well that she wasn't supposed to bring a plus one, and that's why she is saying pay up to avoid awkwardness. She means awkwardness for her.

She has taken op to a party where she wasn't welcome, either mistakenly or not, and now she just wants to smooth things over.

Crisp lady is clearly out of order, but probably raging that op crashed her party, turned her nose up at her food then left early.

Poor op is getting the blame when it's actually her friends fault, imo.

Aeroflotgirl · 07/07/2015 07:32

Op went as her plus one guest, so presumably partygluezilla invited op friend to bring a guest to, she shoukd have blooming stipulated that op had to pay.

Aeroflotgirl · 07/07/2015 07:34

Seaweed in that case op friend should put her hands in her pocket and pay, why should op! Her issues, she pays.

MythicalKings · 07/07/2015 07:51

Please send her an invoice for the wine.

Redglitter · 07/07/2015 07:53

If crisp lady has a problem she should speak to the OPs friend and take it up with her.

I would ignore it. she'll know you've read her message your silence should speak.volumes

00100001 · 07/07/2015 07:56

I would diarm her by replying other "who are you and how did you get my number?"

Fairy13 · 07/07/2015 07:59

I'm just waiting for this AIBU:

Held a small gathering of friends. Was really looking forward to seeing one friend in particular but she brought along a plus one who I'm really not keen on. I tried to be as nice as possible, cracking jokes etc 'sing me a song I'm bored' - as if I was bored, the party was EPIC.
Anyway, friend and plus one ate all my crisps, didn't socialise, looked like they were hating every minute and left after an hour!
So I invoiced her for a fiver to cover costs. That'll show the bitch!
AIBU??

LindyHemming · 07/07/2015 08:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyNym · 07/07/2015 08:10

Please, please, please do send invoice for flowers and wine, minus the £5.

ptumbi · 07/07/2015 08:14

very arrogantly told me to sing her a song as she was bored, - Bored? At her own party?

No wonder you left.

emms1981 · 07/07/2015 08:14

I've posted about this before but when my son was a baby I was working in a shop part time also doing a cleaning job before work getting up at 5 am. My dh decided it would be a great idea to quit his steady and easy job that was paying the bills to become a freelance web designer Hmm so one of us had to be bringing in some money
Anyway, the shop I was working in was being bought by someone else but they were keeping on the staff so they had a kind of leaving party. This was just arranged by staff, they hired a room, food, bought flowers etc.
At the time the only people I had to babysit were my mother in law and her husbands niece but they were going to the party. They didn't work in the shop but were guests to people who did. It was something like pay £20 and invite up to 8 people. Well I couldn't afforded £20 and I didn't want to go on my own anyway so I declined. Then a few days later the assistant manager came to me saying " we are asking all the people who aren't going if they could please give £5 to cover costs is that ok?"
I said no it isn't! she wasn't very happy and informed me that everyone else had paid it my response was well more fool them then!

CardinalRed · 07/07/2015 08:15

This is nuts!
Crisp female is deranged bag. And bloody rude. She clearly has issues, what with her nutty demands re singing then this.
Perhaps she has alcohol issues?
I'd text back "I do not respond to unsolicited demands or money from strangers. Please cease and desist forthwith"

Snotty but scrupulously polite, so it should wind her up a treat.

Seffina · 07/07/2015 08:16

"Ok thanks. The flowers were £4.99 so how that pretty much covers the £5. Would you like my paypal address to send over the £12 for the wine or shall we just sort it next time we see each other? Much love xxx

PS: Where were those crisps from? Next time you have a get together, I'll take you to the cash and carry if you want, will work out much cheaper than £5 a head"

PreemptiveSalvageEngineer · 07/07/2015 08:19

I can't be the first to say the Mumsnet classic: "Are you on glue, bitch?!?"

Not you, OP, the hostess with the mostest [brass neck]

SideOrderofChips · 07/07/2015 08:19

Maybe it was meant to be a wife swapping party and thats why your friend was told to bring a plus one....

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 07/07/2015 08:23

It's a cautionary tale about being a plus one

I would never have thought of going to a party as being something that needed a cautionary tale

batfish · 07/07/2015 08:44

Wow I can't believe someone would do this! Whenever we have a large-ish party we usually say 'bring a bottle' but we also buy loads of extra drinks as know that people generally drink more than they bring - and that is fine as it is our choice to host a party and know it comes with an expense. I would never ask anyone for money towards food!!