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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to pay her for a party she threw

408 replies

ahphoque · 06/07/2015 21:04

Last week I was visiting a friend and she had been invited to a party by a new friend of hers. I had previously met this friend but don't know her particularly well ikywim. Anyways, since my friend had only recently met this woman, she asked me to go as her plus one and so I went along with her. The party was quite dull and the woman throwing it was a bit off with my friend and rather rude towards me so we left after an hour or so.

We didn't have anything to eat (she had laid out crisps and the like) and brought a bottle of (rather expensive) wine each aswell as flowers.

This morning I received a text from party woman demanding £5 to cover the cost of the food she laid out. Now there were at least 60 people in attendance and there is no way she spent £300 on food.

AIBU to not pay her as I didn't eat any of the food and already gave her flowers and wine?

OP posts:
GoringBit · 06/07/2015 23:55

I'm waiting for Crisp Lady's AIBU, which will be a reverse, obviously. And place-marking.

mom2twoteens · 06/07/2015 23:57

That's awful, if you want a contribution you ask before hand, not send a bill afterwards.

A short No would be my response.

acatcalledjohn · 06/07/2015 23:57

Staggering. You 'must' pay her £5? Must?

I'd respond to her that she 'must' be out of her fucking mind to even consider this a vaguely appropriate request, especially in light of the value of the items you brought to the party and her being rude to you on the night.

ThingummyJigg · 07/07/2015 00:00

Tell her that when you were there, actually you left her a fiver to cover the costs of the cheapshit asda crisps.

She'll find the fiver in the kitchen, near the fridge, on the counter - you slipped it under a box of are you fucking kidding me bitch.

NobodyLivesHere · 07/07/2015 00:04

I'm absolutely crying.....just when I think I've seen every level of mental a new one appears. Grin

'I'm sorry crisp lady, I'm not able to pay that all at once, would installments of 24p a month be acceptable?

AmazonGrace · 07/07/2015 00:10

Just send her this back

AIBU not to pay her for a party she threw
Babymamamama · 07/07/2015 00:10

I interpret this differently to all the previous posters. If I invited a female friend round for a party, I wouldn't assume that person had an automatic entitlement to bring a plus one of their choosing especially if it isn't even their partner. Sorry but isn't that called gate crashing and it's what people used to do as teenagers but why would you do that as an adult. I think the party giver is just trying to make the point that the op wasn't invited so that's why she has to pay up. I wouldn't want someone is only vaguely known to me pitching up at my house. It wasn't an open house event or have I missed something here?

AmazonGrace · 07/07/2015 00:10

Or Hmm

AdeleDazeem · 07/07/2015 00:11

Tell her to sing for it Hmm

AmazonGrace · 07/07/2015 00:12

Are you crisp lady Babymama?

Only kidding!

I can sort of understand where you're coming from but I'm sure OP stated that the invitation stated plus one.

LooksLikeImStuckHere · 07/07/2015 00:14

You could text:

Crisp lady this isn't etiquette at best,
Is this really how you treat a guest?
You think that I should,
Pay for your food?
Is this a ridiculous test?

I can think only of you as sad.
The crisps were really quite bad.
So I'm not going to pay,
Nope, no fucking way.
Now, if you'd piss off I'd be glad.

Apologies for poor rhyme of should and food. Works with a Scottish accent...

wafflyversatile · 07/07/2015 00:14

Baby if the party girl had an issue with the OP's friend bringing her along she should have brought it up with the friend.

Mrsbird311 · 07/07/2015 00:15

Babymama the woman said she could bring op as a plus one!!
Still you wouldn't embarrass your self by sending the text????????

pollyisnotputtingthekettleon · 07/07/2015 00:15

If a friend brought a friend i would see it as an opportunity to meet and welcome a new face. Always room for one more. Oh and I like M&S crisps so thats a tenner :-p

Babymamamama · 07/07/2015 00:15

No I'm not crisp lady ha ha but I knew I'd get asked that. I just can't see why everyone is so indignant about crisp lady when op just turned up albeit bearing gifts. I wouldnt have tried to charge a fiver that's too much but in crisp lady's shoes I would have been miffed at the situation too.

wafflyversatile · 07/07/2015 00:16

Also from the OP's later post.

My friend was told by crisp lady to bring a plus one, my attendance seems to have thrown her though. She came up to us at one point and very arrogantly told me to sing her a song as she was bored, like i was a performing animal or something then got really pissed off when I wouldn't oblige. Even her husband was confused

TheHumourlessHarpy · 07/07/2015 00:16

This reply has been deleted

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NobodyLivesHere · 07/07/2015 00:16

The fruend invited her, if that is the case the friend is at fault, not OP. and even so it's still utterly fucking mental to ask fo money!

Rainbunny · 07/07/2015 00:17

Baby - you missed the post where the OP explained that the crisp lady had directly told the friend to bring a plus one. It seems that when she brought OP as her plus one the crisp lady didn't like it, which is a mystery I'm hoping OP can shed some light on!

wafflyversatile · 07/07/2015 00:20

Apparently the OP had briefly met crisp lady before. Maybe CL just doesn't like the OP. Which makes acting like a loon completely ok. Wait, no, I meant which still makes her text rude.

Maybe it is a joke by someone else who does have your whatsapp details?

ThingummyJigg · 07/07/2015 00:21

Babymamama it's weird, rude, and plain wrong to text your guest's plus one and tell them they 'must' pay you a fiver towards a bowl of crisps.

OP didn't gatecrash, she was invited by her friend as her friend's plus one. Perhaps the friend misunderstood the invitation and there was no plus one. In which case, as PPs have said, crisplady should have brought it up with the mutual friend.

ahphoque - do you think crisplady was hoping mutual friend would bring a different plus one?

ThingummyJigg · 07/07/2015 00:24

ignore 'friend misundstood the invitation.....' - I missed that post Blush

Clearly mutual friend was invited to bring along a plus one, I suspect she brought along the 'wrong' one though Wink

AmazonGrace · 07/07/2015 00:29

I think your friend needs to sort this out tbh. Wonder if crisp lady is insulted by your leaving early and your friend has said it was down to you?

It's all very strange but quite amusing at the same time.

Babymamamama · 07/07/2015 00:29

Who tells someone to bring a plus one I just don't buy it. The op only has her friend's word for it that plus one was welcome and who really would want a bunch of randoms in their house. No offence to you op. But I think the op's friend just didn't want to go on her own so brought op along without checking with crisp lady. Op you could clarify that quite quickly by checking with crisp lady by text as to whether you were invited or not, rather than some of the ruder texting suggestions made by previous posters.

NobodyLivesHere · 07/07/2015 00:40

But baby
If she wasn't invited and friend just asked her anyway that is the friends fault not the op.
And even if she wasn't, it's STILL bloody nuts to Bill her for going!