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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to pay her for a party she threw

408 replies

ahphoque · 06/07/2015 21:04

Last week I was visiting a friend and she had been invited to a party by a new friend of hers. I had previously met this friend but don't know her particularly well ikywim. Anyways, since my friend had only recently met this woman, she asked me to go as her plus one and so I went along with her. The party was quite dull and the woman throwing it was a bit off with my friend and rather rude towards me so we left after an hour or so.

We didn't have anything to eat (she had laid out crisps and the like) and brought a bottle of (rather expensive) wine each aswell as flowers.

This morning I received a text from party woman demanding £5 to cover the cost of the food she laid out. Now there were at least 60 people in attendance and there is no way she spent £300 on food.

AIBU to not pay her as I didn't eat any of the food and already gave her flowers and wine?

OP posts:
Appleblossom82 · 06/07/2015 23:21

This reply has been deleted

This poster has privacy concerns, so we've agreed to remove this now.

Manic3mum · 06/07/2015 23:23

shamelessly place marking Grin

SeraOfeliaFalfurrias · 06/07/2015 23:24

"you must give me £5"? Not even a please?

Well my response would certainly be along the lines of "WTAF? No."

But I'm sure other MNers will come up with something wittier.

GiddyOnZackHunt · 06/07/2015 23:24

Can you send her an audio clip of you singing something "You're cheap and you know you are"?

SolidGoldBrass · 06/07/2015 23:25

I'd advise ignoring her just to see what she does next...

NoisyOyster · 06/07/2015 23:27

Would you be able to repay her in kind? Post her back a crisp a week for a year

even though it would cost you a fortune in stamps

Turquoiseblue · 06/07/2015 23:29

Am
Aghast at the audacity and sheer stupidity of crisp lady.

Do you have history though? Did you meet her and slight her before?
If I was brought as a friends plus one I m not sure I d expect to pay for myself tbh!
You mention her dh- was she a bit jealous? Is there something else going on here ?
I don't think you should
Respond - you can't fix crazy, and you
Can't get into conversation with it

BitterChocolate · 06/07/2015 23:29

Why don't you drop back my wine, and I'll give you your fiver then. Please do feel free to keep the flowers, they were a bit over the top for the type of party it turned out to be, but that was a misjudgement on my part.

Alternatively,
I have added up everything that I ate and drank, the wine I brought more than covers what I drank. Food-wise I owe you one third of a bag of nice crisps. I will drop some over to you after my next supermarket trip. You can have the bag, I'll decant the other two-thirds into another container.

Or, see if you can get her message to go viral, we'll all help. Wink

Appleblossom82 · 06/07/2015 23:30

This reply has been deleted

This poster has privacy concerns, so we've agreed to remove this now.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 06/07/2015 23:30

Are you going to reply?

Battleshiphips · 06/07/2015 23:32

I would text back "Is tomorow ok to meet up. I charge £200 for each public appearance I make so I've amended my invoice to say £195. We can settle it tomorrow"

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 06/07/2015 23:33

This is truly marvellous. I agree that your friend is just as out of order to suggest that you pay it!

Please, please reply shit stirring massively giving her a link to this thread.

UsedtobeFeckless · 06/07/2015 23:34

She is a loon - post her some really, really crap crisps ... Grin

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 06/07/2015 23:35

Or offer installments on your debt and post one hula hoop soaked in gin through her letterbox every other Wednesday.

Jen1610 · 06/07/2015 23:35

'hahaha fuck the fuck off, imagine someone DID actually charge their guests +1, £5 to eat some crisps at their party that would be ridic, you are hilarious! let's catch up again soon xx'

would be my reply. then any further reply would be

'OH you were being serious well this is awkward......sorry I didn't know that was socially acceptable to charge guests. okay in that case the wine and flowers I brought were X amount, deduct your £5 your charging for the crisps (where did you buy them by the way, that is expensive for the 3 crisps I ate......well 2.5!) and that leaves a balance of X amount you owe me. Let me know when you'd like to meet up.'

Icimoi · 06/07/2015 23:36

Well, the response is easy, isn't it?

"Hello Crisp lady, with regards to the party last Thursday, in exchange for the wine and flowers I provided you must give me £10. Let me know when you are available to pay me. Ahphoque"

Iliveinalighthousewith2friendl · 06/07/2015 23:40

Is she for freeeeeeekin real.
No this is unheard of on this planet. I don't know about the one she inhabits mind,
The rude bitch.
Don't hAnd any money over.

AlpacaMyBags · 06/07/2015 23:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chippednailvarnish · 06/07/2015 23:42

Can't you just WhatsApp her back with a audio of you singing "Gold digger" by Kanye West. Followed by "Killing in the name of" by Rage Against The Machine?

Or ask for the flowers and wine back in exchange for the £5...

SolidGoldBrass · 06/07/2015 23:42

Maybe Crisp Lady is a MNer on the windup, to see if you would start a thread about her...

chippednailvarnish · 06/07/2015 23:43

Did she have Naice Ham flavoured crisps?

BuggersMuddle · 06/07/2015 23:44

WTAF? Any time I've had a dinner party or hour party (including when I was not earning all that much) I've expected precisely bugger all from guests. I've always made it clear what I was providing and any expectation on guests in advance (e.g. I am not providing alcoholic drinks / am providing some / am happy to provide all, but if you don't like X, Y or Z bring something for yourself).

That is very weird.

I can also see why it was a shit party. While I get that people have budgets, for a non-family / no occasion party (otherwise you might expect a bit of a hand), you don't invite 60 odd folk if you can't afford to spend a couple of hundred quid? (Unless you make it bloody clear it's a gathering, rather than a party and you're providing the space / music only).

CrystalCove · 06/07/2015 23:46

Who on earth are these people that think this behaviour is ok? Buy a bag of value crisps and give her that with a note saying that should cover it!

BitterChocolate · 06/07/2015 23:47

Or, copy the message to her DH, no comment. You won't hear about the awkward conversation that follows, but you'll know it's happening.

wafflyversatile · 06/07/2015 23:53

Reply

Oh, crisp lady I think someone has played a joke on you. Whoever has had access to your phone has sent a demand for payment for attendance at your party! Grin For a few moments I was thinking OMG this woman is the most deranged, grabby woman I have ever met before I realised it was some sort of prank. You seem far too lovely and normal to do such a thing. You might want to check no one else has had the same text. You wouldn't want everyone thinking you're so rude. x

or a simple

Just take it off the £20 you're owe me for wine and flowers. as suggested in PPs

Maybe she did spend £300 on crisps and she's lost the receipt for the remaining £295 worth.