To think I shouldn't have to live off cereal?

[dontrunwithscissors]

DH was made redundant a week ago. For a number of reasons, we've agreed that he will be a SAHP for a year. We can afford to do this, providing we're careful with what we spend.

DH set a food budget of £70 per week to feed the two of us and 2 DD's (5&8). We used to spend a lot more than that (no idea how much) due to the fact we were both running around like headless chickens trying to juggle 2 FT jobs and all the other family stuff.

We've hit £72 so far this week on food and other stuff (bleach, toiletries, toilet roll). I believe we need to increase the budget, and/or exclude non-food items. I've been ill this week so have lived off cereal and fruit--I've only had 2 hot meals. The schools closed for the summer holidays on Friday (in Scotland), so we will need more food for them.

So yesterday, I told him that if we've only just managed to survive this week, we need to increase the budget to £80. We can afford this--we're not so poor to have to skimp on food. DH told me that we will just have to manage. He did this while pulling out a steak pie from the freezer to eat for himself. (I had cereal and the kids had pizza.) I was really pissed and told him that if that was the case, he should put the sodding pie away and feed himself cereal.

When he was made redundant, we agreed he would take on the responsibility for budgeting. However, I believe that if we can't feed ourselves properly, we should eliminate something else from the budget (mobile phone contract or 2nd car). SO, AIBU?

Well DH said to me this morning that he was going to do homemade burgers and get the kids to help. (No prompting from me.) I reminded him how we used to make our own potato wedges.
I'm popping out of work today to go with him to a new Lidl store (existing one is teensy) today.

If someone's just come on your thread to be a judgemental sneering dick, it's OK to ignore them, OP

I'm not going to criticise you, cause I'm an SAHM, spend way more than your budget on food & drink, and still end up getting a takeaway at least once a week...ahem.

But what I find useful is to keep a list somewhere of things that all the family will eat, for inspiration when your mind goes blank while meal planning. Otherwise I find I try a new recipe, everyone likes it, and then I forget about it again.

I'd also deal with this as a transition period, and allow a bit of flexibility in the budget for a time while you adapt.

Maybe mix up v basic meals like jacket spuds/omelettes; something that needs a bit of love like spag bol/curry/casserole; and your 'convenience' pies/pizzas for a bit, then gradually move away from the convenience stuff.

My main problem is that no-one eats the same thing in our house, but it sounds like your DCs aren't too fussy?

You have my sympathy op - particularly because I never used to be able to cook either There are a lot of fairly simple cookbooks out there and a lot of meals can be made cheaply, esp if veggie.

1. Do you/your family like Indian food or curries? Many dishes from that region benefit from being bunged in a pot and left to stew - make extra and have it for lunch the next day or freeze.

2. Spaghetti with marmite is not a recipe but damn it's tasty! Boil spaghetti, drain it not TOO thoroughly, add a teaspoon of marmite, swirl in and serve (maybe with some butter). Add frozen peas to spaghetti water if feeling healthy.

3. Jacket potatoes are lush - we are financially ok now after a period of being skint and we still eat them 'cos they're yummy.

As for not wanting to undermine your DH, try to emphasize that it's a learning curve for both of you and hopefully he'll be soothed a bit.

YABU
Start cooking from scratch instead of eating pies and pizza and £70 will be enough.

But I agree about the "one small chicken lasts us all week" crowd - no way they've got teens!

Sorry, didn't actually read the whole thread, maybe just half of page one. But you/DH should still cook from scratch.

I hate these type of threads to as sometimes it turns into competitive spending, what people spend on food and groceries is all relative and I would struggle on £70 for 4 a week, I have 3 adults, a teenager and a 7 year old and probably spend about £175-£200 a week on everything - food, toiletries, cleaning products etc.

OP, I work with people with mental health problems and some get PIP, I know they've had to apply and been turned down and then appeal, hope things settle down for you all soon.

What a disgustingly selfish man.

Tell him to f* off and get a pie out for yourself.

If you're earning the money then you set the budget. Simple.

Another tip I read once was to have a list of 10 meals that you can cook easily or quickly or that everyone will eat that you can rotate into meal plans. Having 10 rather than 7 means that you won't end up eating the same thing on the same day of the week.

Jacket spuds - yes! Loads of cheese or even leftovers. Jacket spuds with chilli and cheese are lush.

Oh FFS! No-one ever claims that a small chicken lasts all week, but it is perfectly reasonable to get more than one meal out of one for a family. The recommended meat portions are much smaller than many people imagine and a meal should include other components such as vegetables and rice/pasta/potatoes etc.

So the chicken breasts will do a roast dinner for 4 (half each) and then the legs and thighs can do a chicken and vegetable pie, or biryani (serve with vegetable or chick pea curry), pasta bake, or any number of other things.

You could then make stock with the carcass and use the bits of chicken that are left to do a noodle soup type dish, but I’ve never successfully made edible stock so don’t bother.

£70 a week can be enough for a family of 4 to eat healthily, but it will require planning, some meals without meat, there will be compromises and you won’t be able to wander round Waitrose picking up whatever you like without thinking about prices. But no way is it necessary to spend over a grand a month on food for a family to have a nutritious diet.

"If you're earning the money then you set the budget. Simple."

No, you work as a team to work out what will be best for the whole family. What would the MN response be to a woman who said that her husband told her that he earns the money therefore he decides how that money is spent?

Yeh, ignore, ignore. But 'snorting' at someone for asking a genuine question with a lot more than laziness going on & suggesting child abusemakes me want to stick a fucking pencil up her nose.

I'm probably a bit too sensitive for AiBU. I'm on the verge of tears just thinking of it all not good when you're sat in a coffee shop Think I'll bow out from this thread.

Your husband really needs to learn to cook. It's the only way of feeding a family on a budget: cooking from scratch. Cereal is not cheap at all, and very unhealthy especially if you're dealing with MH issues, you need to eat properly.

YY to Jacket Spuds. Asda do a pack of 4 in their 'Extra Special' range that make gorgeous jacket potatoes or wedges.

I set mine off in the microwave and then in the oven for 10 minutes on maximum - I like cheese/cottage cheese/cream cheese, but obviously there are many other cheap flavourings available.

Even with the posh spuds at £1.50 a pack, tuna or cheese, and salad on the side, you can easily feed 4 for less than a fiver for a meal.

ObiWanCannoli - Thanks for the tip about Tesco value fish, I had never seen that before but have added it to my shopping basket. The kids will love fishcakes

That should have read a bit too sensitive for AIBU at this point in time and on this issue.

I'm still getting my head around the fact that I don't need to run around at 100mph, constantly panicking, and feeling like I can't give enough attention to anything.

I a a carer/ SAHM and I can cook and I do meal plan to an extent and I couldn't manage on a budget of £70pw but we do have a teenage DS and a child who has allergies and needs specialist foods. We spend at least £25 - £30 every week just on fresh fruit and veg (from aldi).
If we had two toddlers instead of a teenager and an almost teenager, no allergies and only included food items in our budget then £70 PW would be just about doable.
The problem is that different families cook differently, shop differently and eat differently so whilst in eperson can manage in £50pw somebody else will struggle in £150pw for the same family.

I think you and your DH need to set a very loose budget to begin with and see how you get on and then adjust the budget as required until you arrive at something that is realistically manageable long term. These things sometimes need an adjustment period in order that you can get used to it.

10 meals the whole family will eat?

Wow I'd be happy if we had 5!

We have a mix of veggies & non veggies & 2 'fussy' eaters. We almost never all eat the same meal.

That is why you spend so much Athena. Different family members all wanting different things to eat is expensive.
We all eat the same every night (with the exception of an allergy free version of the same dish for one family member). We have more than 10 meals that we all eat and enjoy together.

dontrun please don't get upset. Aibu can get a bit nasty.

You have come through a very hard time, lots of adjustments are being made. You'll get there!

I cannot managed on double your budget OP. I spend over £150 every week despite meal planning, eating leftovers, not wasting, not throwing away, bulk buying etc etc. Food is very expensive. And yes, I buy as much smartprice as I can, and we eat eggs and J Pots once a week. It just costs a lot.

Athena - surely it would be better to just base all meals around the veggie one then, just adding for meat eaters if they want, and fussy eaters leaving what they don't want ( get less fussy with less choice!)

I have sympathy with people managing fussy eaters. I was very fussy as a child, but I wasn't just being awkward. Certain textures or tastes would make me balk and I could never adjust. My parents tried the 'you'll go hungry' approach, which is what happened. They went as far as putting my meal in the fridge and bringing it out each meal time until I ate it. I just couldn't swallow it. I think they left me a good 1.5 days without me eating anything before they gave up. Thankfully, my two aren't particularly fussy, but I believe that it's not always as simple as forcing your kid to wat it.

In fact, I remember a news story showing that fussy eaters often have more/more sensitive taste buds that are different to 'normal' people.

eat it.

And I hated being a fussy eater. I slowly grew out of it.

OP that is what 2 of us are like. We will go hungry and then be grumpy rather than eat food with a texture/taste we don't like.

Artandco

We do kind of do that like if we are having a 'with potato & veg' meal 3 of us will have salmon and the veggie will have a quorn/linda McCartney type veggie portion of something.

We will all eat pizzas & macaroni cheese!