To think I shouldn't have to live off cereal?

[dontrunwithscissors]

DH was made redundant a week ago. For a number of reasons, we've agreed that he will be a SAHP for a year. We can afford to do this, providing we're careful with what we spend.

DH set a food budget of £70 per week to feed the two of us and 2 DD's (5&8). We used to spend a lot more than that (no idea how much) due to the fact we were both running around like headless chickens trying to juggle 2 FT jobs and all the other family stuff.

We've hit £72 so far this week on food and other stuff (bleach, toiletries, toilet roll). I believe we need to increase the budget, and/or exclude non-food items. I've been ill this week so have lived off cereal and fruit--I've only had 2 hot meals. The schools closed for the summer holidays on Friday (in Scotland), so we will need more food for them.

So yesterday, I told him that if we've only just managed to survive this week, we need to increase the budget to £80. We can afford this--we're not so poor to have to skimp on food. DH told me that we will just have to manage. He did this while pulling out a steak pie from the freezer to eat for himself. (I had cereal and the kids had pizza.) I was really pissed and told him that if that was the case, he should put the sodding pie away and feed himself cereal.

When he was made redundant, we agreed he would take on the responsibility for budgeting. However, I believe that if we can't feed ourselves properly, we should eliminate something else from the budget (mobile phone contract or 2nd car). SO, AIBU?

They also tend to very unethical eg battery eggs.

Do you have a flame retardant hazmat suit?

If so, recommend putting it on right now.

I am another one who thinks you should apply for PIP. I have a life time award and work full time. There is a bit of a knack to doing the forms but it's definately worth that. Message me if I can help.

£400pcm

£70 per person per week for a family of 4 = £1120pm

Please apply for the pip. Don't let the millions of horror stories on the net put you off - there are hundreds of thousands of other people who apply and have no problems at all, but you don't hear about those. Our son aged 3 is being assessed for autism and reading online you'd think it's near impossible to get dla and takes months - we applied and were awarded high rate care within 2 weeks, money in the bank the 2nd week. Our case isn't that unusual either - it is a bit of a lottery but if you are entitled to help because of a disability you should absolutely apply for it.

For us as a family (4 of us) things are so stressful day to day that we spent a lot more than most on food etc - having a disability in the family takes up a lot of time, energy and stress. At the end of the day I don't want to be standing there cooking meals from scratch all the time. On an average week we spend about £150 ish. Having the dla and the extra tax credits and carers allowance for ds really helps with our household budget - without it life would be so much more stressful financially and it benefits ds and our quality of life so much.

Also check out approved food. I buy the kids treats there and jars of spice paste and other basics. It's changed recently and I'm not sure it's as good value but it still saves a lot.

If you have spice paste putting a curry together takes seconds, useful for when your beyond exhausted.

Thanks for the suggestions about PIP. I'll look at it some more. Trying to get it awarded for a mental illness sounds bloody awful, but nothing ventured.....

Hi

Me and Dh were in same position. Transition took a bit of time. I had to organise him a bit to begin with. I would meal plan main meals for the week - to start with easy things he could cook for the family like stir fry, chilli, spag bol, stew, salad, jacket spuds - this would be on fridge so he knew what to cook each day, if he had to get stuff out of the freezer. I'd leave him recipe/cooking instructions - he didn't have a clue at the beginning as I'd organised everything.

He would shop online shop and I would pick on the way home as we got rid of our second car or pick up at weekend. He would get bus to lidl if we needed stuff from there.

Could u budget £70 for food then £10 for non food items

I expect you could plan meals together without DH taking offense. I always ask for help with the 'what does everyone want to eat this week?' Question before I make the shopping list. I find eggs very handy and cheap and quick, especially as we don't eat beef or lamb. I don't batch cook unless it is soup. You don't need to cook much. Try a student cookbook for budget ideas that are easy.

athena just because you struggle doesn't mean other people do.

If you can cook, and have access to decent ingredients it is perfectly easy to feed a family of four for £70 p/w. We are not on a budget as such, but tend to spend between 70 and 90, and that is all organic veg/dairy/meat and all meat has to be free range. That includes packed lunches, Sunday roast etc, all home cooked and no processed bar a bag or oven chips when I can't be arsed to make them.

Athena, you are talking bollocks. I feed 4 and sometimes 5 people every week (5 in university holidays). I spend between £70 and £100 per week (not per person) and it includes fruit and vegetables (some fresh, some frozen), milk, yogurt, cheese, meat, tins of tuna, tins of beans plus stuff for anyone who may need packed lunches. Not short of calcium or good quality protein there. It also includes a dozen free-range eggs most weeks. In Tesco they can be bought for £1.75 per doz. Not sure what they are in Aldi, as ours hasn't opened yet (due in the next few weeks).

OP is considering how feasible her budget is. For the most part it is doable, with some planning, although it is tight-ish and may at times need some give and take. Personally, I would try it for a few weeks. If it works then great. If not then increasing it to £80 or £90 per week if affordable could make things more comfortable.

Have you got a pay as you feel cafe near you?

Top - a dozen eggs between 5 isn't loads though is it? 2 a week? We get through about 30 eggs a week between 4! ( that's across breakfast/ lunch/ or dinner components, plus baking)

I would go for PIP if I were you. Getting it for a MH problem isn't that difficult really, as they takes into account motivation issues, inconsistency and the fact that you appear to be able to do other things in your life. This is the scoring system. www.benefitsandwork.co.uk/personal-independence-payment-pip/pip-points-system Remember that being able to "do things" for PIP means being able to do them safely, reliably, as often as needed and in a reasonable time frame. For example, a "simple" meal for the purposes of PIP is a meal cooked from scratch using fresh ingredients. You have to be able to cook a meal 3 times a day, every day and on time, without burning it-otherwise you can't do it. Ready meals don't count. Cereal definitely doesn't count. Good luck There are people both in RL and on here that can help you with the form. Do ask your CPN.

Athena, that's a load of cobblers. We do shop at Waitrose (well, Ocado) and top up at Aldi and I easily keep our budget within £300 per month. Including some (but not all of our) wine.

We cook pretty much everything from scratch. We eat meat or fish every day. I bake. Oh, and I keep a toddler in nappies for that budget too, and make sure our vegan nanny has plenty to eat. It doesn't feel like scrimping, ever, because if it did we would increase our budget for food.

Surely this is a joke? No one can be that useless about food? Can't make a pie..hilarious...cereal, pizza, frozen pies...snort.

On the off chance it is serious, one of you needs to stop being so lazy, learn to cook and start making batches of food to eat and freeze. Feeding children processed muck regularly is child abuse. It is the unhealthiest, most expensive, laziest thing, well I guess takeaways would be worse, step up the plate, pun intended, and feed them properly.

And I spend about £200 a month and that includes steak, free range eggs, loads of meat, fruit and veg and wine.

The othe thing that makes me think this a joke is why aren't the cupboards and freezer already full? I think we could all eat for a month on the food in the house

For us as a family (4 of us) things are so stressful day to day that we spent a lot more than most on food etc - having a disability in the family takes up a lot of time, energy and stress. At the end of the day I don't want to be standing there cooking meals from scratch all the time. On an average week we spend about £150 ish.

Can someone explain what this means?

youareallbonkers I will be gentle on you and assume you haven't read the whole thread where I've explained in greater depth, but if you have--fuck off and take your judgemental shit elsewhere. You clearly don't have a fucking clue about how a disability (physical or mental) can upturn lives and make it damned difficult to manage the basics. We're trying to recover from them last 5 years and I'm asking in all seriousness for some guidance on how other people manage.

fairylea explained perfectly well why it's hard work to cook from scratch with extra demands of caring.

Do you have a slow cooker, OP? They are ideal for people who can't cook or don't have much time or inclination to. Just chuck all the ingredients in it in the morning and hey presto, a nutritious, delicious meal ready for dinner time. Look up slow cooker groups on Facebook as there are very active groups with endless meal suggestions.

It's a time of adjustment for your whole family though, so be kind to each other while you settle into your new roles.

Yes, we do above a slow cooker somewhere DH used to do casseroles in it many years ago.

No way the people here who claim to eat well on such low budgets have a teenage DS!

You are going to get a hell of a shock when your DCs get older!

ninkynonk

I'd love to see your shopping list.

We have a selection of cheap meals we can make when we have less money and/or things that use up other bits of ingredients from other meals.

Omelettes/scrambled eggs are good for putting loads of bits in - peppers, courgettes and chorizo (bit more expensive, but a little goes a long way) is a big hit in this house, as is corned beef hash (with tinned potatoes is even cheaper) and there's nothing wrong with beans on toast every now and again! Scrambled eggs is something I often get my 5 year old to help with too.

Another one I do is bacon spaghetti, which is basically bolognaise with bacon instead of mince and can be ready in 15/20 minutes.

I do try and meal plan but I like to have things like this as backup for when I CBA. There are people who do mass batch cooking once a month for the freezer (including slow cooker meals). I'm not suggesting you do that but if you and/or DH can find a bit of time to do loads of chopping you can have meals ready in the freezer for times when you need them.

It can be hard to adjust to a lower income, and food is somewhere you can quickly shave a few ££s off, as looking at household bills can be more time consuming.

I quite like cereal as a meal sometimes, but I don't think I would like it quite so much if I had to eat it as a meal!

Both of you need to learn to cook and in time to teach your children to cook, it is an important life skill, and not hard and you should eat together as a family. Everyone picking out different ready meals is expensive!