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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to look old in wedding photos

58 replies

wolf14 · 03/07/2015 17:20

Went to a family members wedding. It was great. The bride and bridesmaids where younger than me and in the photos I noticed how fresh faced and young they look. When I smile I have lines by the side of my eyes and underneath them. These wrinkles are newish. I'm 28. I'm not married but am now debating if asked if I should. I never noticed before but all my friends and family look young in there wedding albums. They all seem to marry around 22 to 28 and look great.

As time goes on I will only look older and I'm not even engaged yet!!

Aibu to ask how old where you when you got married and do you feel you look just as good as the others around you in your album or if your not married would you have a deadline age?

OP posts:
Original poster
wolf14 · 03/07/2015 17:21

Bride and bridesmaids were only 1 to 3 years younger by the way.

OP posts:
DidoTheDodo · 03/07/2015 17:22

I got married at 53 and look as radiant as all brides should!

Our marriage is about so much more than how I look on the photographs and that is what is important to me.

GinUpGirl · 03/07/2015 17:22

This is about your skincare regime and not a cut off age for marriage!

LashesandLipstick · 03/07/2015 17:22

YABU. Why would you sacrifice a lovely day for you and your partner because you're comparing yourself to others? Focus on your own enjoyment.

Original poster
wolf14 · 03/07/2015 17:24

I'm asking as I'm thinking of your own future generations looking at the album who were to young to attend or even born. You can't pass down memories only pictures.

Am I way over thinking this. Maybe my self asteam has taken a hiding.

OP posts:
LashesandLipstick · 03/07/2015 17:27

Definitely overthinking it

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 03/07/2015 17:28

Wow, not something I'm worried about, because when I get married (engaged, wedding on pause at the moment), I will put aside a bit of money for a decent make-up artist. I don't feel I look old, my family genes are pretty good until 40, after that we start looking like a pug had a baby with an old man's testicle. Fun. I have a good 10 years before that though. More worried about my body going to hell after having the baby - I have lovely curves, but at this rate my boobs will be in the church 10 minutes before the rest of me (or be dragged behind instead of a train....). Getting old is normal. Trust me, when you have your day you will look radiant, like all brides do. It's the happiness that shines through, not wrinkles.

GinUpGirl · 03/07/2015 17:29

I'm asking as I'm thinking of your own future generations looking at the album who were to young to attend or even born. You can't pass down memories only pictures.

This makes no sense. When you die at a ripe old age, there will be photos of you young, and photos of you old.

Those remembering you will look at pictures, and think, oh look theres gran, aged 18, aged 46, aged 71 etc. You'll look how you looked at that age.

Wedding photos are no different. They'll know you got married at 39, for example. Hence why you look 39 and not 21.

Am I missing the point? Confused

JohnFarleysRuskin · 03/07/2015 17:29

You sound like a loon. (Meant kindly ;))

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/07/2015 17:30

I got married at 25 and again at 33. I don't define myself by how young I look. I also don't define myself by what I look like in comparison to my friends. Why do you?

My favorite wedding pictures, from both weddings, are happy, surrounded by friends and family of all ages, genders, colours, sexualities, trans, heights, weights, NT and ND and religions (I think I covered everything that my wedding picture does).

Teabagbeforemilk · 03/07/2015 17:31

You get married to have a marriage. Not the photos. If you haven't found someone to settle down with, you haven't. Really people feel sad that aren't married because they worry about how their pictures will look?

Floggingmolly · 03/07/2015 17:32

What GinUpGirl said.

buttonmoonboots · 03/07/2015 17:33

I'm so confused. Have I misunderstood your OP or are you actually saying you are debating getting married purely so you will look young in the photos? You do know what a marriage is, right? A binding commitment and all that jazz?

When you get married you will look like the person your husband wants to marry. And you can always hire a make up artist.

time goes on I will only look older and I'm not even engaged yet!!

how old where you when you got married I was 31.

and do you feel you look just as good as the others around you in your album
The one where I'm the bride, you mean? It has never once occurred to me to compare whether I - in my wedding dress and glamorous hairdo - look 'as good' as the others. Being the bride is quite distinctive! And I looked as good as I could. That's all I could ask.

would you have a deadline age?
To do what? Be sent to the glue factory?

Are you possibly confusing 'marriage' with 'beauty pageant'?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 03/07/2015 17:36

Wolf - years from now your grandchildren and great grandchildren will be looking at your wedding photos, and thinking how happy you and your husband look - and that is what matters.

I am no oil painting, but I look lovely in my wedding photos because I was so happy that day.

And if it really, really matters to you, you could,have some Botox or fillers before the big day, and have a bit of airbrushing done on the photos.

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/07/2015 17:38

Someone I know spent 8K on wedding pictures. Should have saved the money because now she's skint and divorcing. She was more interested in wonderful wedding pictures than the marriage, I think.

WhyTheDrama · 03/07/2015 17:39

Just wait a few years and then when you look at your photos you will ever thinking how young and beautiful you look.

Original poster
wolf14 · 03/07/2015 17:40

No. I have a guy I have been with for 10 years.

I think it's because the people in the album are friends and family. So if I do ever get married they will obviously be there too as I love them....just wish they were not all so beautiful looking whilst I look like a rag at just 28!

OP posts:
GinUpGirl · 03/07/2015 17:43

just wish they were not all so beautiful looking whilst I look like a rag at just 28!

Like I said - this is about taking care of yourself and feeling good about your looks, not wedding photos!

buttonmoonboots · 03/07/2015 17:43

You will be the bride. You will stand out. What part of that are you not understanding?!

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 03/07/2015 17:44

seriously, if you have friends and family that judge on appearance and can't seebeyond to the happiness you radiate at a wedding or similar event and love to see you that way then you bigger problems than a few wrinkles.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 03/07/2015 17:45

besides, I have seen pics of people in their late 70's getting married and to me they look beautiful because they look happy to be together.

Glitteryfrog · 03/07/2015 18:02

I'm in my thirties... There is no hope for me is there.
I'd better give the ring back.

Ludways · 03/07/2015 18:05

I got married at 37, I looked great in the photos, even though I do say so myself. Having me young in photos wasn't a good enough reason to marry any of the blokes I was with in my early 20's, lol. If I'd married any of them I'm sure I'd look bloody haggard by now! Shudder

JohnFarleysRuskin · 03/07/2015 18:08

Older people should never be photographed.

Or leave the house. Disgusting.

chewymeringue · 03/07/2015 18:14

I had my civil partnership for at 36 and looked and felt fabulous. We're having another ceremony next year (10 years on) to convert it into a marriage so I'll be 46. I'm not in the slightest bit worried about how I look. I'm going to go all out!