Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sex ed - shaving legs in year 5

700 replies

Candycoco · 02/07/2015 23:24

Have posted in education but posting here for traffic.

Dd came home from school today having had sex ed at school for the past 2 days.

I've always been very open with her and have answered questions as they've come up, so no big revelations this week.

However, she told me today that the boys were taught how to shave by male teacher, and girls were taught how to shave their legs. This just doesn't sit right with me. I know 99% of women do shave their legs and it's something I've already talked to dd about as she asked me last year about it and I told her she has to wait til end of year 6 before she starts secondary to do it.

I just feel it's a bit presumptuous and suggests all girls should. Maybe I'm being bit uptight about it but I don't like the message it sends. Is this normal to teach this as park of sex ed?

Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
Candycoco · 03/07/2015 09:56

I haven't gone back and forth. I've said quite clearly they were told how to do it, told most women do do it, but what I feared is the message that they heard is that I SHOULD and NEED to be doing it.

OP posts:
cailindana · 03/07/2015 09:57

Worra - do you see as many ads on tv/internet advertising beauty products to men as to women?

WorraLiberty · 03/07/2015 09:57

I'd like to think we could develop a society where both girls and boys can be happy with their bodies. Do you not think that's possible?

Well you'd have to define 'happy with their bodies' really.

Lots of people are happy with their bodies when they get a cut and colour/shape their eyebrows/shave their legs/ buy nice clothes and shoes etc...

Lots of people are happy with their bodies while not doing any of those things.

Lots of people do those things but will sadly never be happy with their bodies, whether they leave them natural or not.

People are far too individual for the possibility of true happiness to become a reality.

But I truly believe that choice is key to helping people find some sort of happiness.

If people start to judge others for wanting to remove their hair/wear make-up or doing all sorts of things to make themselves happier, or if those choices were to be removed, that is likely to make people even more unhappy.

cailindana · 03/07/2015 10:00

I'm not talking about removing choice for anyone Worra. I'm talking about you, as a little child, feeling like a small hairy Greek man because of you perfectly normal legs and about making sure other children don't feel like that.

WorraLiberty · 03/07/2015 10:00

Worra - do you see as many ads on tv/internet advertising beauty products to men as to women?

No, but they're certainly catching up. Give it a few more years because the next generation will have Fathers who shave their body hair and use quite a few beauty products.

So just like many girls, they'll probably show and interest in buying and using the same products etc.

Poofus · 03/07/2015 10:00

I would be appalled and would be making a very strong complaint to school. There is no way this should be coming under "sex ed", and no way school should be promoting a culturally-specific, non-universal, non-hygiene-related and highly gendered practice, which is essentially a matter of adult choice, to children. I am feeling very Angry about this and it's not even my school or my DD.

WorraLiberty · 03/07/2015 10:04

I'm not talking about removing choice for anyone Worra. I'm talking about you, as a little child, feeling like a small hairy Greek man because of you perfectly normal legs and about making sure other children don't feel like that.

But you can't stop children feeling like that. Not even my Mum who never shaved and rarely wore make up could stop me feeling like that.

As long as I had a pair of eyes in my head, I could see that Mary, Sue and Catherine's legs looked much more ascetically pleasing to my eyes, because they weren't full of what looked like thick, dark fur.

That's human nature. We're all naturally programmed to find some things more naturally attractive than others.

It's not all about the advertising.

cailindana · 03/07/2015 10:06

So smooth legs are more naturally attractive? How did that happen? Through evolution?

Original poster
Candycoco · 03/07/2015 10:08

No one has answered the question as to whether they'd be happy for their daughter to be taught how to pluck their eyebrows or apply make up for example - because that's what most women do too?

OP posts:
ghostyslovesheep · 03/07/2015 10:10

Like it or not your children are growing up in this society - with all the shit that goes with it

I see my job - as the feminist mother of three children - is to give them the confidence to navigate the world

I discussed why they wanted to remove their leg hair and the issues related to it before they did it - and yes it was all down to play ground bullying and being called ape - but who am I to say because I think the pressure to shave comes from a highly negative place they therefore have to go through school feeling shit!

They made an informed choice - I may not agree with it but as a feminist I allow them that choice

WorraLiberty · 03/07/2015 10:11

calindana I said they were naturally more attractive to my eye.

I'm also naturally attracted to dark haired men with blue eyes

I love bacon but I detest liver

Coke for me but never Dr Pepper

Horror yes, Sci-Fi no.

These are all personal tastes. We cannot expect to have a uniformed society where everyone thinks he same way...like robots with exactly the same preferences.

I'm not sure whether that would go under 'horror or sci-fi'?? Wink

Original poster
Candycoco · 03/07/2015 10:11

Ghosty I agree with you but I never said I was going to stop her. But is it schools place to talk about waxing?

OP posts:
ghostyslovesheep · 03/07/2015 10:12

My 12 year old recently had her eyebrows waxed Candy - because she asked if she could and saved up her money to pay for it

She loves make up and clothes - it's who she is - she always has been like that

You can enjoy these things and still be a kick ass women

Original poster
Candycoco · 03/07/2015 10:14

Absolutely ghosty. But does that need to be part of sex-ed for a group of 9 & 10 year olds?

OP posts:
Writerwannabe83 · 03/07/2015 10:14

Why is teaching girls to shave correctly any different it teaching boys to shave properly? Confused

You say it is presumptuous and that not all girls will want to shave, but that can be said for boys and beards too surely?

I just don't see why boys being taught to shave safely is ok but it's not ok for girls....

ghostyslovesheep · 03/07/2015 10:15

sci-fi no OMG Worra you disappoint me :( - what about horrors set in space?

The friend who waxed DD's eyebrows btw is a model who owns her own salon - she started it at 18 and has worked her arse off in the past 30 years - she is single, owns her own home and is one of the strongest most independent women I know. She amazing and a feminist

ghostyslovesheep · 03/07/2015 10:17

Candy she just said 'you can shave or wax if you want to' she didn't whip out an epilator and start attacking their limbs!

Original poster
Candycoco · 03/07/2015 10:21

I know that ghosty! Smile

Great to hear everyone's point of view though a good discussion.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 03/07/2015 10:21

No. No horrors set in space either!

< Gavel >

cailindana · 03/07/2015 10:23

Can I state now, being a feminist has nothing to do with whether you shave, or pluck eyebrows or are a model, or are independent.

Worra, do you see a lot of women walking around with bare hairy legs?

Micah · 03/07/2015 10:24

It's likely my DD won't be able to shave her legs.

These threads always make me sad, as the default seems to be- kids get bullied for being hairy, have them shave.

Even bringing up leg shaving in sex ed and normalising it is going to separate my DD out as abnormal.

ghostyslovesheep · 03/07/2015 10:25

well exactly Cailindana - it's up to us as women to define for ourselves - not for anyone to dictate - feminism is a wide, varied and evolving thing - I hate people telling em what is and isn't feminist - as a woman who worked for 17 years with Rape crisis and was at Greenham I am comfortable with my feminism

ghostyslovesheep · 03/07/2015 10:27

kids get bullied for being hairy, have them shave NO actually what I said is - let them if they choose to

would you rather they where bullied to prove MY point?

My kids can't single handedly change the world - and they have much bigger battles than this

CherylBerylMeryl · 03/07/2015 10:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ghostyslovesheep · 03/07/2015 10:29
Swipe left for the next trending thread