Sex ed - shaving legs in year 5

[Candycoco]

Have posted in education but posting here for traffic.

Dd came home from school today having had sex ed at school for the past 2 days.

I've always been very open with her and have answered questions as they've come up, so no big revelations this week.

However, she told me today that the boys were taught how to shave by male teacher, and girls were taught how to shave their legs. This just doesn't sit right with me. I know 99% of women do shave their legs and it's something I've already talked to dd about as she asked me last year about it and I told her she has to wait til end of year 6 before she starts secondary to do it.

I just feel it's a bit presumptuous and suggests all girls should. Maybe I'm being bit uptight about it but I don't like the message it sends. Is this normal to teach this as park of sex ed?

Thanks

When I was at school shaving legs was about making ourselves attractive

Dd has fair leg hair so is happy to wait another year, but I'll be buying her an electric lady shave to start with and don't see the school talking about razors as necessary

It's necessary because of the amount of parents who refuse to buy their kids an electric shaver.

Most kids will just grab a razor from the bathroom and get on with it.

I haven't read the whole thread admittedly, but OP, are you absolutely sure it was sex-ed and not the personal development lessons they have now that cover all sorts of subjects? Off the top of my head I can't think of the correct term, but I know my DD found these very useful and they covered a wide range of topics including personal hygiene, bullying, relationships, that sort of thing.

My DD was 8 when she started her periods and was 9 when I taught her to shave. She was teased for her very obvious hair growth and I felt better to teach her how to remove it safely than have her suffer comments, particularly from boys, during swimming lessons, PE etc. I also didn't want her to attempt it herself and slash herself to bits. She has never come to any harm from this and is a confident young lady at nearly 17 years old. I do find it hard to believe a school would promote it as something they had to do. I would speak to her head of year and seek clarification.

I'd be really bothered about this because it forms part of the 'girl's now you are becoming women you have to perform all sorts of completely unnecessary beauty routines or you will be considered hideous/unclean' narrative. Bad enough that girls are bombarded by this type of message from everywhere else without getting it from school.

It also seems quite bizarre that they were teaching nine year old boys how to shave. In fact it's so bizarre to me that I would wonder what was really said. Perhaps it was more of a here are a bundle of things grown ups use and this is what they are for (although I wonder why this would be necessary as it's not exactly hard to find this sort of info/marketing).

I'd also wonder about the logistics. Did the female teacher demonstrate shaving her legs/the male teacher demonstrate using a razor? Surely there are many other more relevant things to cover for a group of nine year olds? My two had lots of stuff on relationships, bullying, coercion, homophobia and self esteem (they had some really good teaching) and rather less on biology.

Could be an 'anything you want to ask' box thing I guess.

The male teacher actually shaved of his stubble in front of the boys who were in one class. Female teacher talked about shaving against the growth etc but didn't actually do it. Don't know whether she was recommending it as such or just saying it's something you can do. Either way I don't like it.

This was sex ed as we had a letter last week saying they'd be learning about it and we could go in and watch the Dvd if we wanted to after school.

I see absolutely nothing wrong with this. At all. I wasn't interested in being sexy when I was young but didn't want to be picked on for being a hairy beast so I shaved. Knowing how to do it properly may have helped!

I find it strange that leg shaving was included in sex Ed, but after reading some of these replies and thinking back to my own experiences I can sort of see why. I went to a RC primary and we had no sex es whatsoever. My mum attempted "the talk" when i was about 10 and I sort of knew what was what. A couple of girls started their periods in y6 and were terrified as they had been told nothing about them by parents or school, and I find that really sad. Lots of girls (and boys) are early developers, and by y5 lots of them may have already started sprouting extra hair. I know plenty of women choose not to shave, but I wonder how many have always held this view? These days I'm not fussed about leg hair or armpits being meticulously shaved but when I was younger I would have been mortified. At 10 my leg hair was quick thick and noticable and I dreaded PE because of it. My mum had naturally smooth legs (I got my dad's legs it seems) so never taught me how to shave or told me about other hair removal methods so I nicked my dads disposable razor and hacked at my dry legs. Seeing all these women with hairless legs but having no knowledge of hair removal made me think that there was something wrong with me for growing hair on my legs like a man, so being told that many women choose to shave their legs would have been really helpful for me.

I don't see a problem with it. Part of sex ed will include bodily changes, and this will include growing pubic hair and hair on legs becoming thicker and darker. Many year 5 girls will already be developing public hair, and may have thick and dark enough leg hair that they feel self conscious about, and may even get comments from other pupils.

There isn't a "right age" to start shaving, it depends on the individual. The key thing is to explain the changes taking place, and to present all options. In the same way we would expect girls to be taught about the various methods of sanitary protection and later on contraception, I would also expect them to learn about the various options for hair removal, including leaving it unshaved.

I don't see a problem with it. Part of sex ed will include bodily changes, and this will include growing pubic hair and hair on legs becoming thicker and darker. Many year 5 girls will already be developing public hair, and may have thick and dark enough leg hair that they feel self conscious about, and may even get comments from other pupils.

There isn't a "right age" to start shaving, it depends on the individual. The key thing is to explain the changes taking place, and to present all options. In the same way we would expect girls to be taught about the various methods of sanitary protection and later on contraception, I would also expect them to learn about the various options for hair removal, including leaving it unshaved.

I just got 150,000 hits on 'how to shave your legs' including several videos, if you want to learn how to do something so totally mainstream there is no shortage of instruction, some specifically orientated toward teenagers/preteens. The days when if your mum didn't help you advice from older sisters or teenage magazines is all that you have is long gone, I really cannot see the purpose of this session other than to reinforce the view of young people that bodily hair on a girl/woman is bad and should be dealt with as soon as possible if you want to fit in.

How to deal with your mono-brow. Bleaching your lady-tache? Stencilling your eye-brows so you fit in? I'd be displeased if that's what mine spent a lesson on as part of sex-ed, & I'd put leg-shaving in the same category.

Same, Nooka. God, it's sad.

Sex ed isn't just about the act of sex though. Proven by the fact that talked about deodorant.

I feel a bit 'meh' about this. They weren't told they had to or the should do it. Chances are they will want to shave their legs. Dd knows I shave my legs, she also knows I don't feel i have to and most of the time he can't be bothered. At this point (year 6) she isn't interested. Girls mums are more of an influence than one class at school.

DDs school covered it - and it was a good job considering that two of the girls were talking about shaving their chins and upper lips . One was told by an older sister that she'd have to start doing that soon and actually argued with the HT that it was something that girls 'had' to do.

The info evening including video was shown a couple of weeks before the session, so parents knew what to expect. One asked that they mentioned depilatory creams because she was going to introduce them to her DD in the summer hols.

My DD told the teacher that I was going to take her for 'a waxing' so she didn't 'cut out a chunk of her heel like mum did' (I still have the scar and DD knows how I got it)

I really don't see the issue here?

Those of you who are for it I do understand what you are saying, and thanks for taking the time to comment, but I just find it strange that in this day and age a mother wouldn't talk to her child about shaving at some point so they don't take chunks out of their legs, so school has to.

I've tried to ensure my dd's worth isn't tied up in her looks and I told her before that no one has to shave.

I just wonder in what way it was discussed at school and if it was presented as an option, not a given

We had a similar chat in sex ed when I was at school. Nothing wrong with it at all, not all girls feel happy asking their parents.

I would go to school and find out more. Definitely.

I just find it strange that in this day and age a mother wouldn't talk to her child about shaving at some point so they don't take chunks out of their legs, so school has to

Really?? You'd be surprised then at the number of times politicians and parents say that such and such was up to the school to teach to children and failed in their duty. School have a diverse range of responsibility where others do not step in.

I see no problem in this lesson

but I just find it strange that in this day and age a mother wouldn't talk to her child about shaving at some point so they don't take chunks out of their legs, so school has to

Unfortunately there will always be those parents. Those that won't talk about any aspect of their child's bodies, self worth, comfort and so on. Those parents that for some reason see hair removal as sexual and nothing else, so don't want to talk about it - whereas their child may find it unsightly, uncomfortable, might be teased and so on.

The two girls in my DDs class were point in fact. They were utterly utterly clueless about all aspects of puberty/periods/sex and what have you. If the school said nothing they'd still be clueless. Thankfully now they aren't.

Women shave their legs as it is the societal norm so we do it to fit in. If dd, also year 5, chooses to shave I'll help her but ensure she understands that she is complying with how women are supposed to look, hairless.

I thought there were certain cultures / religions where shaving body hair was compulsory actually, not forbidden.

You said there were product samples. Say no more. It was clearly sponsored by a manufacturer, probably the one who also happens to make the sanpro. This commodification of health and education is a bloody disgrace. My DH came home from dr with a leaflet about healthy eating that suggested he needed to eat a certain margarine and drink a certain yoghurt drink to reduce his risk of diabetes and a heart attack. He has now gone out and bought said products (actually not the same brand, but a rival stocked by his usual shop),

Hahahaha at sponsored by a manufacturer

Our HT was approaching all the members of staff to see if we had any sanitary wear in our handbags!

Just asked dd to tell me a bit more about what was said. She said it talked about when the teacher was discussing the need for increased hygiene during puberty and that women can shave, you don't have to though,or you can wax she said (?!) not sure what shaving has to do with hygiene.

Like I said earlier I am planning on getting her a lady shaver when the time is right, but they weren't mentioned nor creams etc.