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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think baking for school is a waste of women's time?

194 replies

SayThisOnlyOnce · 02/07/2015 10:06

Not a taat but I have seen various posters mentioning 'and I've got to bake for the school fair/sale' amongst many other things they need to do.

If you LIKE baking, fine.

But most people seem to find it a chore. I have never baked for school and I don't intend that I ever will. I've never encountered a dad stressed out because he has been guilted into agreeing to bake something he doesn't really have time for.

IME the cakes are sold really cheaply anyway. If you costed the time and ingredients I'm sure its making a loss, ie it would be cheaper not to bake and just stick money in a bucket.

It just seems to be another form of everyday sexism.

OP posts:
aintnothinbutagstring · 02/07/2015 10:24

I don't bake and don't feel remotely guilty, but I understand your everyday sexism reference, baking cakes is a frequent request of our schools pta, and its aimed at mums not dads because baking is a (1950s) mum thing to do.

NynaevesSister · 02/07/2015 10:24

As the person who runs most of the cake sales at school at would say that I would be thrilled if you chucked £10 at me instead. Honestly if ten parents did that each term that would be £100 easy money. I would be immensely grateful and you'd feel guilt free. Win win! What PTA wouldn't be happy with that?

purplepandas · 02/07/2015 10:27

DH did the preschool cakes as he had time and I didn't. I do normally do it. I feel guilty about everything though, it's not cake specific!

MrsMcColl · 02/07/2015 10:30

If I did that Nynaeves, could I close my eyes to all the cake letters and march firmly past the cake queue? I could and would, but there would be some sad people who would judge my apparent standoffish refusal to engage with the school cake community. I suspect it isn't always entirely about the money.

flightywoman · 02/07/2015 10:31

I have a costs spreadsheet of all the standard ingredients to make sure we don't sell at insultingly low or stupidly high prices Wink

If everyone baked we'd have far too much, they don't, of course, and we don't expect it. But real cake is generally nicer than bought and it sells better at our school.

SomethingFunny · 02/07/2015 10:31

Nothing wrong with not making a cake for the school fair.

However, these things are run to raise money to buy things for the children in the school. Your children included. You should definitely feel guilty if you don't contribute in another way- be that volunteering your time to help on a stall, or to set up the fair, or selling raffle tickets etc. Or actually donating the money you have saved from not baking the cakes, instead of just saying "it would have been cheaper just to give them the money" and then NOT doing it. Don't use not baking as an excuse not to do anything.

AuntieStella · 02/07/2015 10:33

Our primary has cakes sales for charity 4 times a year, once for each house, and as siblings go into the same house, it means once a year. And they've got much better at giving reasonable notice when they are coming up. They also ask for cakes for a stall at the summer fare, but that's alongside requests to bring a bottle or a toy, so more choice. But all are optional, and I've never really felt that anyone ever pays attention to who is giving what or giving at all.

There's nothing from the school that even hints they expect it to be the job of one particular parent. So if any at ours are feeling pressure because they are mothers, it's coming only from themselves. I suppose that I can think of only one family headed by a father only, but quite a few with mother only or mainly, then there is an indirect effect. But that's much wider than cakes.

( Cake - how long until elevenses?)

AnnPerkins · 02/07/2015 10:34

I think it's mostly the SAHPs who bake - the majority of whom are women.

The thing with the economics of bake sales is that lots of people say they would rather just hand over the money, but in reality hardly any do. At least with the bake sale they are raising something, even if it is in the form of double donations.

Our PTA asked this year if parents would prefer to make a one-off annual donation to ensure that the main annual expense was covered. The overwhelming response was YES. Everyone was happy. Until it became evident that almost nobody was handing any money over Hmm

HamishBamish · 02/07/2015 10:34

I see what you mean about the cost effectiveness of bake sales. I've never costed out ingredients, but suspect they do sell at a loss. I do it because I enjoy baking and it's a good chance for me to do my bit. I'm not as available as I'd like to be to help with school trips/reading practice etc as I work. I really appreciate those who give up their spare time to cover those things, so I like to be seen to put some effort in when I can.

I think it's nice for the children to have a chance to become involved (they generally run the sales). Not everyone can or wants to bake which is fine. It's just a bit of fun really.

coreyp · 02/07/2015 10:35

It's only worthwhile if you can make the cakes look and taste exactly like the ones at the shop (which is the sort of price they'll fetch, too).

MrsMcColl · 02/07/2015 10:38

I'm not totally convinced, SomethingFunny. There are schools (my DD's old primary) where the PTA raises money and barely spends it (because of endless shenanigans over how it should be spent). I don't think parents should be guilted into volunteering for PTA stuff or giving money, unless they really want to.

SanityClause · 02/07/2015 10:38

When I was a Brownie (maaany years ago) we used to have cake-less cake sales, sometimes. Your parents would put the money that they would've spent baking and buying cakes in an envelope, and sent that in with you.

There were also proper cake sales, sometimes, too.

namechangefortoday543 · 02/07/2015 10:38

I just bought packets of cheap cakes and chucked a bit of icing and decorations on.
Take in your own tinWink

That got me through 11 combined years of primaryhell

Mopmay · 02/07/2015 10:40

Omg really???
I do a lot for our Pta but don't bake as I am rubbish at it. We have tons of dads who are chefs and caterers so loads of them do it for us. It's as many dads as mums.

Yes easier to put money in bucket, but then kids don't get to eat cakes ??!?!- which they love !!!

Mopmay · 02/07/2015 10:44

We make £200 every time we do a cake sale after school on Fri. We also have donation buckets available !!!
It buys a lot of extra resources for school

insanityscatching · 02/07/2015 10:48

I've baked every time I've been asked by a school since ds started school 23 years ago. I love to bake so any excuse for me to do something I enjoy. I also give dc money and they invariably buy my own cakes back on the day. Nothing sexist here dh can't bake for toffee.

BertrandRussell · 02/07/2015 10:50

"I don't think parents should be guilted into volunteering for PTA stuff or giving money, unless they really want to."

I don't think they should be "guilted" either. But according to Mumsnet, any request is "guilting"

And I do think it's a bit rich to take advantage of the money raised by others and not contribute anything at all. How hard is it to put a packet of nice cakes on your Ocado Tesco order......?

RooftopCat · 02/07/2015 10:52

I don't think I've ever baked for the cake sales at the school.

When I worked full time I was never organised enough to bake cakes so I would donate gifts, chocolate, etc for the fairs. And send child in with money to spend on these things.
Now I have the time I still don't bake as I am on the PTA so have decided I donate my time not money. And I don't donate stuff for the stalls anymore but just spend lots of time running the stalls. Child obviously still spends money on fairs, discos etc.
Once I finish my stint on the PTA I'll go back to giving gifts etc. I may even bake as we notice the cake donations are becoming fewer.

Mrsjayy · 02/07/2015 10:53

I just saw another cake icer ^^5 Grin

dixiechick1975 · 02/07/2015 10:54

I like baking. I bake lots for school fayre as it makes money - 4 fancy cupcakes in a box can sell for £3.50 ish. (boxes are 3 for 79p homebargains) So if I send 12 boxes school makes at least £40 which I think is a decent contribution from me (I and DD also go and spend on the day)

But if they have a cake sale sold to kids then i'd just do a few fairy buns. Last email confimed they were selling for 10p-50p.

BoomBoomsCousin · 02/07/2015 10:57

I think, for the most part, people who don't want to bake buy ready made from the supermarket. There will be a very few who bake because they think they ought to or because they're competitive and it's the only outlet they have, and in those few cases there can be an element of our sexist society. But I think most of the people who actually bake do it becuse they want to, the ones that whine and moan about it mainly do so because they don't want to admit it.

BettyCatKitten · 02/07/2015 10:58

I hate baking and don't have the time due to work. However, I always buy goodies for the raffle and tombola so feel that evens things out.

haveabreakhaveakitkat · 02/07/2015 10:59

The children benefit so although I don't generally home bake, I always send cakes in and always buy. Our PTA recently partially funded a school trip for dd's year so I got some of the money back anyway!

namechangefortoday543 · 02/07/2015 11:00
Grin I could get 24 for £1 . I dont think any one caught on. I did the icing a bit messily just in case.
SolidGoldBrass · 02/07/2015 11:04

DS' school don't do cake sales (or fetes, thankfully). But I have heard, on and off, over the years of schools where there is pressure on women (and only women) to bake cakes and sew fancy dress costumes, because they have to show that they are Mothers not Selfish Career Women.
(Almost sorry no one's ever tried it on me. They would learn an interesting lesson very quickly.)

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