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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be cross that DH has taken himself on holiday for a couple of days without saying

107 replies

fluffybunnies246 · 01/07/2015 21:24

I only found out after I text him to ask where he was.

He said he needed to get away to 'clear his head' so has taken a couple of days off work and gone to the seaside. I'm here with the kids.

Found out last night he'd cheated on me. I was extremely upset, then we agreed to try and work things out. But now he's just b***d off!!!!

He seems to think that this is ok behaviour. He's said 'sorry'. It's not the first time he's just taken himself off. He said he'll see us Friday night. I'm thinking that actually, perhaps the kids and I deserve some time away too and maybe we should go camping for the weekend. Which is partly me being immature and partly the kids love camping and it's really, really hot in our bedrooms.

OP posts:
glenthebattleostrich · 01/07/2015 21:27

I'm sorry, he's cheated you found out yesterday and he needs to clear his bloody head.

If it was me he would be seeing his packed bags on Friday.

Cherryblossomsinspring · 01/07/2015 21:27

Awful selfish behaviour. I think you would be well within your rights to tell him not to come back.

StarlingMurmuration · 01/07/2015 21:28

Change the locks, go away for the weekend, leave his stuff in binbags on the front step. He's a dick.

Sconejamcream · 01/07/2015 21:28

Go camping and don't tell him. What a shit. He should be walking on egg shells trying to make things work rather than pissing off elsewhere. I think I would cancel his bank cards just to fuck him off.... Or go camping.

CalleighDoodle · 01/07/2015 21:28

Maybe he hoped youd throw him out so he wouldnt have to say he was leaving. Personally id assume he was with the ow.

TongueBiter · 01/07/2015 21:28

Seaside??! Alone, or with whoever he cheated with? Fuck that for a game of soldiers. I'd be having his bags on the front step.

ApocalypseThen · 01/07/2015 21:29

Who does he think is caring for the children? I assume he's organized childcare for the rest of the week?

ShuShuFontana · 01/07/2015 21:29

really really never say this, but you must LTB

text him back this minute and tell him to come home collect his stuff from the garden and to fuck right off back where he was and clear his head with all his things about him!

change the locks and don't be there when he deigns to return. Do make sure you have some burly/scary friends there for his return to prevent him getting into the house.

i am flabbergasted at his front!

haveabreakhaveakitkat · 01/07/2015 21:29

How long ago did he cheat? Was it just the once?

All sounds very strange, op. Taking himself off to sort his head out when he's hurt you deeply already - not good.

DartmoorDoughnut · 01/07/2015 21:29

He'd come home to the locks changed and his stuff in bags quite frankly. What a selfish arse! Hope you're ok OP Flowers

ltk · 01/07/2015 21:29

You found out last night? Oh, OP, I am so sorry. What a bastard. First he cheats and now he runs away. Bastard and coward. Are you ok? Do you have support in rl?

Milkandmarmite · 01/07/2015 21:30

Seriously?! He's having a laugh. Tell him not to bother coming back.

ShuShuFontana · 01/07/2015 21:30

oooh yes, cancel his cards too, good one scone

Original poster
fluffybunnies246 · 01/07/2015 21:30

and here was me thinking that maybe there was something about men that I just couldn't comprehend…nope just being a prat.

OP posts:
Original poster
fluffybunnies246 · 01/07/2015 21:31

I'm fine now thanks doughnut as devastation has been replaced by anger- an altogether more productive emotion.

OP posts:
maddening · 01/07/2015 21:32

If he has cheated do you think it is still happening?

GERTI · 01/07/2015 21:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chairmeoh · 01/07/2015 21:34

Go camping. Clear your head. Take control and make some decisions that suit you

HoggleHoggle · 01/07/2015 21:35

Absolutely outrageous. I'm really sorry.

Original poster
fluffybunnies246 · 01/07/2015 21:35

apocalypse that was one of my points- if I just sodded off whenever I felt like it (although I wouldn't) the kids would be taken into care!

thanks for the concern people. I don't have any RL support as I haven't told anyone. I'm frankly embarrassed cos we'd split up once already, I'm just waiting for the "I told you so's"….ugh. My friends know what he's like though as they've had their ears bended for years…just shows how gullible I am!

OP posts:
paulapompom · 01/07/2015 21:36

He sounds a cunt to me, You deserve much better treatment than this. Whatever you do look after you and dcs. FlowersWineCake

TendonQueen · 01/07/2015 21:36

It's all about him, isn't it? Can't help thinking that this is designed to get you to beg him to return and quickly gloss over the cheating. Go camping and leave him to come back to an empty house. You can leave a note in the kitchen.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 01/07/2015 21:39

Fluffy Dont you ever feel embarrassed. He is the one who should feel embarrassed for being such dirty cheating fuckbucket.

You should feel proud to say that you actually had the bravery to try and you did try. Now find that bravery and get mad.

Original poster
fluffybunnies246 · 01/07/2015 21:40

Camping it is then- with a note.

GERTI made me think.

Thank you all the kids and I are going to have a nice weekend without feeling guilty xx

OP posts:
BestZebbie · 01/07/2015 21:41

It is quite convenient that he has left you alone in the house for a few days really, as you now have time to gather copies of all the bank statements and other important documents, transfer out half of any joint money to a new account in your name then freeze the shared accounts and change all the locks without his interference.