is mil overstepping or aibu

[mmollytoots]

So I have had many issues with mil over the past 9 years. Me and dp had our first child nearly 1 year ago so I am due back to work any day. When dc was first born mil and us fell out a few times and I felt she never made an effort with dd.

Due to financial reasons mil has offered to look after dd when I go back to work for a few days per week. So as to get dd used to mil more we let her have sleepover. now this is my issue

Since this sleepover mil didn't send all dd stuff home as she wanted to wash it ( I quickly stated never do this in future) as I want to wash it and also have it all back at once. She now keeps calling dd my princess and acting like dd is her property to lift kiss and cuddle at any time. Considering we want to take it slow.

she was always a big manipulator and she keeps saying oh this is me and dds thing we do in relation to a game. I feel she is going to make it harder for me to go back to work as I am very very ancious and I know it sounds stupid but its my daughter not hers. I feel is she already overstepping that boundary.

am I just being mad

sad I'm so sorry that you had such a shitty experience - you sound lovely and I'm sure that your DNs life is better for having your influence in it

Your SIL sounds a bit like mine - when Dnephews were young my lovely MIL wasn't allowed to hold them without being invited, had to change nappies as instructed by SIL, was never allowed to take them out etc. DMIL's friends had similar experiences with their DGC.

We attended a close family funeral when DS was 6 months - DMIL's friends all commented on how much freedom she had with DS (nothing special - she was basically walking him round and outside the wake chatting to family members etc) and wished that they had the same.

DMIL used to perch on the edge of her seat peering at ds in the moses basket longingly - we had to really reassure her that she could pick him up whenever she liked - he's her family too.

DMIL has had ds 1 day a week for 3 years whilst we're at work. I want it to be a happy time and send everything he needs - clothes, wipes, pack up, toys... she's aware that she can bung the dinners in the freezer if they want to go out for lunch etc but I like to send stuff so that looking after him is as easy as it can be for her.

DS and MIL have an amazing bond - they have special in jokes, special names for each other and a special kiss, hug, tickle routine that is theirs and theirs alone.

We're extremely grateful to her and thank her every single time she watches him (which she hates - she says she doesn't need thanking..)