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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WIBU to keep my son off school for this?

529 replies

Fantoosh · 26/06/2015 14:55

So I had a hairdresser appointment this morning for 9.30. I desperately needed a cut and colour before going on holiday next week.

Unfortunately my dd was sick at 7.30am...although she seemed fine afterwards. This meant I had to keep her off school.
Given that the chances of getting another appointment in time for the hols was zero, was I bu to call in a sicky for my eldest son (14) this morning to watch her while I kept the appointment I had? Fridays are a half day at school anyway here.

My hair is looking great now but I don't know if I did the right thing.
What would you have done?

OP posts:

slightlyconfused85 · 27/06/2015 09:24

I think if you post in Aibu then you have to be prepared for people to think you are. Calling posters melodramatic for disagreeing is unnecessary. Some think it is unreasonable, I am in this camp as I think other than illness or bereavement children should be in their lessons for minimal disruption. Haircuts and duvet days do not, imo, count as valid reasons whether you think that day in school is useful or not.

YouTheCat · 27/06/2015 09:30

The melodramatic comments weren't because they disagreed. It was the manner their disagreement was expressed that was melodramatic - though not everyone who disagreed was melodramatic.

NickiFury · 27/06/2015 09:33

Oh I agree that there's been some laughable responses on here but hysteria is the norm on any thread regarding taking a child out in term time I have found.

LashesandLipstick · 27/06/2015 09:44

Nicki I don't see it in real life either - on here people seem to get morally outraged about such minor things

Sparklingbrook · 27/06/2015 09:53

The thing is though in RL you just wouldn't say anything if that's what you did so nobody would know or have an opinion would they?

Posting it on MN was the weirdest thing about it all IMO.

Singsongsung · 27/06/2015 09:57

School is compulsory. The only way to avoid it being compulsory is to opt out and home school. Children get 13 weeks holiday a year. The rest of the time they are legally expected to be at school. Taking them out of school for "the occasional duvet day" or so that you can have a hair cut is against the law. You do not have the right to deprive your child of an education. If you need that sort of flexibility then remove them altogether and home school.
From a teacher's point of view I can tell you that it's a pain when kids are off. They arrive into your next lesson telling you that they don't know what they are doing because they missed last week and you have to spend time you could spend moving the 28 others on, going back to fill in their gaps.

It is desperately selfish and instilling entirely the wrong view of education to your children.
My dd has never had a day off for anything other than illness. She would never opt to have a day off given the choice.

Mistigri · 27/06/2015 10:00

On the face of it YABU, but I suppose it depends on how old your daughter is and whether they are still actually doing anything at school.

YouTheCat · 27/06/2015 10:01

But singsong, there isn't going to be a 'next lesson' as next week is activity week and then they are on holiday.

Original poster

Fantoosh · 27/06/2015 10:09

I am a long term poster here. I decided to name change (something I really don't do) because I wanted to see what people would have to say to me if they didn't know me from Adam at all. I normally go by the username pictish.

The scenario is real, I did indeed take up my son's offer to sack the morning off to babysit his sister yesterday, so I could keep my hair appointment. My motivation was purely to get my hair seen to, as I knew I wouldn't get another chance. It was the last morning of official school before activity week and I know he didn't miss a thing. Self centred? Certainly. Harmful? Not a jot. Yet I and even my son, have been hung up to dry.

It's a good job I'm made of stern stuff who simply sees the more vitriolic or extreme views as affirmation that I'm a fairly well balanced person.

All I can conclude is that I pity the fool who stumbles on mumsnet by accident.

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 27/06/2015 10:14

Oh, so it was an experiment?

arethereanyleftatall · 27/06/2015 10:15

Wow, can't believe it's Pictish.
I normally agree with everything you write.
It's interesting how a well known user name affects opinion, and you were right to change names to get honest opinions.
If I'd seen it was you, I would have still thought yabu, but I wouldn't have posted.

Original poster

Fantoosh · 27/06/2015 10:18

No it was real. I just decided to name change, that's all.
I was also genuinely worried I would be upset or angered by the replies and not feel able to post on under my usual name. As it goes, I wasn't upset.
Decided this morning to come clean.

OP posts:

ilovesooty · 27/06/2015 10:20

I'm actually really disappointed that you used the name change facility purely as an experiment actually.

Sparklingbrook · 27/06/2015 10:20

But an experiment to see how you would be treated when you N/C and posted about a subject that would possibly have very opinionated responses?

I don't know what to make of this now.

ilovesooty · 27/06/2015 10:21

Too many actuallys, sorry.

Original poster

Fantoosh · 27/06/2015 10:23

Why? People name change to protect themselves or get an unbiased opinion all the time. All I've done differently is own up.

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 27/06/2015 10:26

I think you changed your personality/posting style as well as your NN.

ilovesooty · 27/06/2015 10:26

I don't think I want to get into discussion on why I find it disappointing pictish.

I just do.

ghostyslovesheep · 27/06/2015 10:28

I think you've proved a good point op x

TheFallenMadonna · 27/06/2015 10:28

Would the responses would have been that different? There is another, not wildly dissimilar thread about a day off for a trip to an amusement park, and it's gone much the same way. It's a polarising thing on MN!

I'm just of the Friday half day...

Original poster

Fantoosh · 27/06/2015 10:29

I never name change - this is a first. I think for me, the name change facility is rather disingenuous. I think as I have proved here.
I could have kept it up, but I feel uncomfortable with the deceit (mild though it is) so I'm catching you on.

OP posts:

arethereanyleftatall · 27/06/2015 10:31

The problem is, is one post is just a snapshot in to a problem. We then all have to project to read between the lines. If you'd posted under Pictish, everyone would immediately know it's a one off for a perfectly sensible parent, and the responses would have been different. As you name changed, we're all left wondering whether the casual disregard for eduction was a regular occurrence, hence the responses.

elderflowerlemonade · 27/06/2015 10:32

My reading of this thread is very different to yours, OP.

I have read it as yes, some OTT responses but certainly in the latter pages those of us who have disagreed with your decision (and I do - whatever name you used ) have been presented as prim, anal, uptight and ridiculous. Comments about children never getting into a RG university, claiming benefits for life, are not what I or many have said and were uncalled for. I also felt one Wide was really unfairly called 'melodramatic' and as I said last night, she was a really good sport about it but it was personal and uncalled for.

Perhaps it depends which side of the debate you're on?

NickiFury · 27/06/2015 10:32

"Disappointed"

Sparklingbrook · 27/06/2015 10:34

I thought from the off that whoever the OP was it was a really goady OP.

Now I don't know what to think.

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