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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU to keep my son off school for this?

529 replies

Fantoosh · 26/06/2015 14:55

So I had a hairdresser appointment this morning for 9.30. I desperately needed a cut and colour before going on holiday next week.

Unfortunately my dd was sick at 7.30am...although she seemed fine afterwards. This meant I had to keep her off school.
Given that the chances of getting another appointment in time for the hols was zero, was I bu to call in a sicky for my eldest son (14) this morning to watch her while I kept the appointment I had? Fridays are a half day at school anyway here.

My hair is looking great now but I don't know if I did the right thing.
What would you have done?

OP posts:
ghostspirit · 26/06/2015 22:10

bitoutofpractice that made me lol.

op im sure one day does no harm. mine had day of today

YouTheCat · 26/06/2015 22:10

If this was another in a long list of absences, I could see your point. But it isn't. I'm sure the OP takes her children's education seriously or they wouldn't be doing as well as they are.

There are always grey areas... always.

Wideopenspace · 26/06/2015 22:13

School isn't optional - why are there grey areas?

There are a handful of genuine reasons to be off.

Maybe I am just blinkered by the overall picture I see every day. I have to be passionate about it, or I have no chance of getting some of my families to come with me.

LashesandLipstick · 26/06/2015 22:16

Wide because not everything you do at school is important.

ghostyslovesheep · 26/06/2015 22:17

I do to - I am therefore able to tell the difference between the odd half day and persistent none attendance

It's s massive over reaction to judge or label a parents attitude to education or her parenting ability on the basis of asking her son to help out for half a day three days before the end of term
If you approach the parents you and I work with with that level of assumption you'll damage your ability to make any difference at all

elderflowerlemonade · 26/06/2015 22:17

Agreed.

I think a lot of what takes place in schools is pointless and silly and tedious.

I still wouldn't have told mine to stay at home in the circumstances the OP describes.

YouTheCat · 26/06/2015 22:19

There are grey areas because you have to take individual circumstances into account for a start.

OP has already explained that Friday is a half day where she is and the last week of term (next week) is activity week. So he hasn't missed anything vital at all.

I know of quite a few children who have the odd day off to help out. It's not ideal but it's how things are sometimes.

Wideopenspace · 26/06/2015 22:21

I haven't judged her parenting or labelled the OP as anything ghosty

I've just said I think the half a day is UR. Which, to be fair, was her AIBU.

Of course I can tell the difference, I'm not an idiot.

But I still don't think school is optional!

BitOutOfPractice · 26/06/2015 22:21

The thing is, if he'd had half a day off for say, having a brace fitted, nobody would be wringing their hands and saying his education is ruined.

And, before you all jump down my throat and say that a hair appointment and a dental appointment are two different things, yes I know. But if they both take half a day, then surely the educational impact is the same.

Really, half a day, at the end of term, for a kid with good attendance and good results and a good attitude, really isn't the end of the world.

wide I wouldn't say you're being sanctimonious exactly. But definitely a tad melodramatic. I don't think the summer hols can come soon enough for a lot of us! Wink

WireCat · 26/06/2015 22:23

Oh my god, this is mumsnet judgey bosom hoiking at it's best! Grin

ghostyslovesheep · 26/06/2015 22:23

School is optional it's not compulsory to send your child to school

I hope you have an ace holiday op x

Wideopenspace · 26/06/2015 22:23

I am NOT melodramatic

Wink
Wideopenspace · 26/06/2015 22:24

Ghosty are you claiming the half day as home education?

Come on now...

ghostyslovesheep · 26/06/2015 22:24

Which is why a big chunk of my caseload are EHE

YouTheCat · 26/06/2015 22:25

True, ghosty. School is optional. Education isn't.

I'd say looking after a sibling has value in an educational context.

ghostyslovesheep · 26/06/2015 22:26

No I am countering your claim that school isn't optional - it is

You know in the wider context

If you honestly think a child missing half a day is terrible fine

I save my handwringing for truly terrible stuff

PiperChapstick · 26/06/2015 22:28

I agree wide is being melodramatic the OP is clearly not a persistent offender and it was a one off. I agree that some parents seem to take their kids out of school for sneezing, and it's constant. But this was a half day at the end of term. Realistically he'll have missed naff all. And that kind of energy has to be saved for families who actually create problems.

As for people being up in arms about teacher lesson planning being ruined - teachers are not idiots they expect pupils to be off and as far as they knew her DS was off sick. I can assure you they won't be standing at the front of class with folded arms saying "Well Fantoosh Jr is off bang goes my lesson, now none of you can learn".

Wideopenspace · 26/06/2015 22:31

It's the principle that is important. To me, anyway.

If that makes me melodramatic, so be it.

elderflowerlemonade · 26/06/2015 22:32

It is if you opt into the school system ghosty.

I don't think there are any claims that half a day will make a huge difference to his education. My concern would be that the message - to the younger daughter as well as the teenage son - is that education, school, turning up, call it what you will, is optional, is not really important, does not really matter.

People are being really dismissive of schools here (only half a day, much of what they do doesn't matter) and yes in the context of education as a twelve year career that's true. If education was withdrawn - or as it used to be was only the premise of the wealthy - I wonder if people would still state that.

I would not consider myself someone who sees education in itself as 'vital'; I have no qualms about letting my child have a day off if unwell or tired or in one case, sad - but for a hair appointment, even I am Shock

It isn't about him missing vital parts of his education at all but the overall outlook. And I don't much care for the way those of us who disagree have been painted as uptight and anal miseries - with awful hair, natch. Mines pretty nice actually!

Lastly in at least one case on here - and I am well aware it is a specific problem of dyslexia - the writing style is not fluid or accurate. In the context of a chat forum that doesn't matter a bit. In the context of applying for jobs, university and similar, it does. Half a day will make no difference to that of course but let's stop with the pretence that education is unimportant. If the parent cannot educate - and in at least one case on these boards it would be reasonable to assume she can't - then the teacher has to. But the child needs to be there in order for that to be done!

ghostyslovesheep · 26/06/2015 22:34

Honestly I think there is a lot lot worse going on for many kids that I can't get in a twist over this

But we have to agree to disagree

I bet the ops DD had a lovely couple of hours with her big brother and no one died x

LashesandLipstick · 26/06/2015 22:35

Elderflower are you on about my writing style for a guess? I don't write formal letters in the same way I wrote forum replies.

If it wasn't about my posts, I apologise

LashesandLipstick · 26/06/2015 22:35

Write

toomanykidstoolittletime · 26/06/2015 22:36

If OP's DD has a tummy bug then the chances are her DS is infectious too....she's probably saved all his mates from getting D&V. How selfless of her!!!

elderflowerlemonade · 26/06/2015 22:36

Exactly ghosty.

We aren't 'in a twist'. Wide has been a damn good sport about the 'melodramatic' accusations but the fact is the OP asked a question. We have answered. Some of those answers state we disagree.

That does not equate to being in a twist or melodramatic. Obviously, we have no reason to believe the children aren't loved and well cared for! We just feel this specific aspect wasn't right and OP asked what we thought.

No harm done, it is done now.

YouTheCat · 26/06/2015 22:39

Tbf, there was plenty of melodrama and pearl clutching earlier in the thread.

We seem to have descended into some kind of weird, polite disagreement now though.

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