to shove her food in her face

[Talismania]

I know IABU. This is more a rant.

There's a woman who works upstairs for who some reason eats in our break area. I can't stand the way she eats. She always has finger food like sushi or pizza. She picks a piece up and stares at it before very slowly and deliberately moving it to her mouth, does this weird thing where she moves her lips away from her teeth and slowly tears off a tiny piece with her teeth, stares at the food again, slowly puts it down, then makes A lot of noise chewing (more like smacking her lips and tongue together than actual chewing) until she picks it up again for another bite.

It's the slow deliberateness of it. And the noise. I have misoph

Oh. And can I remind you, shoving food I someone's face is assault and illegal.

Totally agree aermingers.

I am shocked that people think they deserve sympathy for feeling such rage towards others.

And, can I point out, if a woman came on Mumsnet and said she had a partner who objected to the way she breathed or ate there would be the usual chorus of 'OMG, LTB'.

But if a woman comes on here and says the same it's all'Poor you, you have a disorder'

It's a feeling. I'm the least violent person. It's not a crime to feel something.

Nobody on this thread whose written things like wanting to kill someone would ever actually kill someone!! Obviously I would never literally shove the woman's food in her face!!

YANBU OP. Horrible condition.

Aerminger way to blow a silly venting thread out of all proportion. Do you realise just how ridiculous you sound?

The OP did not suggest for one second that she would actually do it. She was using descriptive language to portray just how difficult the situation is. Not telling us her actual plan of action.
You can not tell people how to think or feel. Thoughts are not policed. If the OP came on and said she was going to asault the woman I am sure the thread would have been very different.

Oh give over.
The key word is DID
there is a difference between feel and do
feeling something as a result of an actual diagnosed disorder and understanding that it is your problem and letting it out safely and anonymously and not acting on it is in no way comparable to killing women or ordering the murder of millions of people and comparing the unexpressed in real life feelings of the op to the actual actions of Sutcliffe and Hitler is, well frankly it's laughable.

She hasn't even SAID anything to the woman. The woman has no idea she objects to anything.

People have the absolute right to their feelings.
If she actually did what she feels, she'd be arrested and rightly so.
But she isn't.
If she went to the woman and told her how she feels she'd be wrong.
But she isn't.
you'd be amazed what people think but never express. It is perfectly normal to think all manner of things. What matters is what you do.

at Aerminger. This is what I love about MN the absolute fucking loons!

YANBU and I would make a point of starting at her until she finds somewhere else to eat.

YABabitU to bring misophonia into it though. Not all imperfect/less than saintly behaviour has to be justified by reference to obscure special needs. Teeth-baring woman sounds like an irritating minger and it's not unreasonable to wish she'd fuck off.

*Staring at her. Not starting at her. I wouldn't actually lunge towards her...

Aermingers
(Peter Sutcliffe and) Hitler has conditions.

Godwin's law.
You lose.

My godmother used to do similar. But she had a diagnosed MH condition, which included paranoid schizophrenia, and she was adamant that the food could not touch her lips.

I'm very surprised that people don't realise that other people often feel extreme rage.

Just because I'm smiling through gritted teeth doesn't mean I don't want to punch your lights out. I wouldn't, obviously. I've never punched anyone in my life.

As a child I used to tie knitting needles in knots because I knew tantrums and screaming with rage wasn't acceptable. I wasn't even allowed to cry because I was angry.

Some people do feel a lot of anger, and live with it. Inside.Some of you would have no idea. All sorts of things give me the rage, but other peoples eating is a definite trigger, and I really feel for the OP and others.

I feel the rage/disgust too over someone's noisy chewing, swallowing or gulping and what breaks my heart is that I feel it towards my absolutely lovely 11 YO DS. He doesn't deserve me having a go at his eating, I don't know how he doesn't choke I must make mealtimes so unpleasant for him sometimes...

Aermingers and Keepto - have you never once in your life used exaggerated language to vent or get your point across? If you insist on taking everything so literally, you probably shouldn't be on Mumsnet.

Also, aermingers you compared the OP to Hitler for having a disorder she can't control - Hitler also showed huge intolerance and marginalised people with MH issues like you are currently doing.

Haha at the posts from whitelines and Aermingers

That gave me a much needed giggle this morning.

BTW I have never shouted at my husband or told him to eat differently. I just move away. Yes, I feel rage but I am human and as long as I don't act on it that is ok, I am not hurting anyone other than myself.

And perhaps you can tell us exactly what we can do about this? If you can give us a magic cure so we don't have to feel this rage again I am sure we would be eternally grateful to you. Do you have cure for us then?

And no one is shoving food in people's face or assaulting anyone. It is quite clear that you obviously act on every feeling you have as you assume we do the same. Well, most people are quite capable of not acting on every feeling of rage they have.

I had never heard of misophonia until reading this thread. It has actually made me feel a bit better about myself because for years I have been loathing myself and feeling like a weirdo for reacting so viscerally to eating, breathing and whistling noises.

There are certain sounds that make me want to run, cry, scream or claw at my face. I have other physical sensations in response to noise that I find particularly distressing but I won't go into those as I think they would draw an even stronger negative reaction from posters who clearly think misophonia and those who have it are a joke.

I sympathise, it would give me the rage too. Of course you can't ask her to stop, maybe you could innocently inquire why she eats in your office area rather than her own? If she was asked to eat elsewhere, maybe you can eat in hers?

I started munching crisps at work the other day...a colleague very, very calmly stood up and left the room. I think she wanted to shove the bag of crisps in my face.

To me any mouth noises beyond speaking, singing and whistling are worse than bum noises. To me noisy eaters are as attractive as people with really smelly breath and I view them as such. I know it is wrong and I keep shtum about it in RL, but I am the one who very calmly has to get up and walk out .

YANBU. Where I work most people eat at their desk. The desk opposite me is used by different people, and last week a guy sat there and ate all day. He even managed to make a disgusting noise with a sandwich, which I wouldn't have thought was possible.

Those of you who don't suffer from misophonia are lucky. It's not just a general dislike of eating noises; it fires the "fight or flight" adrenaline response in your body, and it really doesn't do anybody much good to be put into that state on a regular basis.

Several pp asked about babies. I could tolerate my DD's eating just fine, no matter how much noise she made, until she was about 6, but now she also provokes the rage. With your own child you can at least say "stop slapping". Not so easy with your colleague.