to shove her food in her face

[Talismania]

I know IABU. This is more a rant.

There's a woman who works upstairs for who some reason eats in our break area. I can't stand the way she eats. She always has finger food like sushi or pizza. She picks a piece up and stares at it before very slowly and deliberately moving it to her mouth, does this weird thing where she moves her lips away from her teeth and slowly tears off a tiny piece with her teeth, stares at the food again, slowly puts it down, then makes A lot of noise chewing (more like smacking her lips and tongue together than actual chewing) until she picks it up again for another bite.

It's the slow deliberateness of it. And the noise. I have misoph

That's a weird thing, keeptothewhiteline - babies eating noisily doesn't bother me in the slightest! My son can munch crisps right by my ear and I won't bat an eyelid. But the sound of high heels scraping on pavement... There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason.

No Miso is, I struggle with many noises and take anti anxiety medication to help control the problem. my upbringing taught me my manners and I find people displaying bad manners (mouth open eating, spitting, nose picking, slurping etc) makes the Miso worse than it is. I don't understand why you can't realise that it's huge issue for people and different things make it worse.

OK, you don't believe it is a real disorder, keeptothewhiteline, fair enough. But at least you asked questions and tried to understand rather than dismissing it off the bat and telling me to fuck off, so thank you for that!

Just. Seriously. I am being offensive? Because I might suggest that criticising a
man for breathing in the wrong way might be wrong I'm evil? Thank God most women aren't like you.

Is it not possible that the way she is keeping her lips away from the food is a habit to keep lipstick in place?

Yes, telling me to fuck off is offensive. And yes, I agree: thank God most women don't have this sucky, ill-tolerated disorder!

There is someone at work who hums while she eats, and I do realise that is my problem. hasn't stopped me wanting to shove her lunch in her face, though I just leave the room.

There is also someone at work who eats meringues loudly. She only slaps her lips when eating meringues. I now run out of the room on meringue days. I get on really well with her other wise, and don't trust myself not so say "Fucking stop it with the meringue munching!"

I still struggle to understand though, because the contextual element of the " disturbance seems so significant.

If you hear slurping at the next table at a restaurant but your view is obscured- how would you know how to react?

You may find it is a 12 month old baby licking food off a spoon- so that's OK.
You may find an elderly man who has ill fitting teeth- unpleasant but understandable.
Or you may find a woman who is licking her plate- causing you to fly into a rage.

It isn't the slurping that is the issue - it is the social context and whether someone is behaving properly.

It sounds like a control issue, not a response to a sound or sight. Do you have a need to make sure others conform?

I find this hard to understand.

No its the slurping that's the issue. It's made even worse by watching the person do it. Like I said before. It's fine you don't understand the disorder.

Do you have children mrsgrinch?

How did you cope when they went through the messy slurping stage?

I would feel exactly the same from baby to pensioner, it would be made worse by having to see it. The noise is the problem, massively to the point it makes me ill. seeing it tips me over the edge meaning I will have to get up and leave. It's fight or flight reflex.

Yes I have children. I has anti anxiety medication and calming exercises. I coped just the same as I would now with others. I dealt with my issue, no one ever noticed a thing even though I was internally struggling.

It's not about context for me. The sound is enough, doesn't matter who is making it. It's a specific eating noise though not all generic eating noises. Some people make it, some don't. The feeling associated with this particular woman is heightened by her actions while she makes it but the noise in itself is enough and is the only reason I even noticed her in the first place.

As others have said I don't make it known that it's making me feel that way. I just silently rage in my brain. I can't think how to explain it to doe neon who hasn't experienced it. Like a song you hate on repeat? Like a insect buzzing in your ear? I poste the thread to rant about how it makes me feel not to attack the person. I know it's my problem, doesn't make it any easier.

It is very hard to understand, whiteline, and very hard to explain. I can see that it might seem like a control issue to non-sufferers. But it really is just a reaction to the actual trigger sound which starts a strange 'fight or flight' response in my brain. Not a conscious thing at all. The odd thing is that if the noisy behaviour has accompanying visuals (plate licking, chewing with mouth open), just seeing it can trigger the 'fight or flight' response even if you can't hear it. That is to say that if slurping is an established trigger, plate licking may well eventually become one, too.

I'd like to say (sorry OP) that violent ideation caused by miso shouldn't really be vented in a public forum. This Is where the FB venting page comes in very handy for me! Nobody on there will think that you really hate sushi-eating woman. They understand that you just need to rant about the way that sushi woman's noises make you feel. Ranting really helps, when it's done in a safe place. There is also the comfort in knowing that you're not alone. I find my miso much easier to handle now.

I'm sure I don't have misophonia but I absolutely hate bad table manners and anyone eating noisily - the sound of mastication has to be one of the most disgusting noises out there.

Must be much worse if you have an actual disorder! Is there any way you could move desk OP? Or eat your lunch downstairs at the same time?

But being a stickler for manners is hardly a sensory processing issue.

It's easily confused with being intolerant of bad manners: I think this is because eating noises are a common trigger. But when you bear in mind the myriad other triggers such as dogs barking, lawn mowers, typing, etc, it might be easier to see it as an auditory problem rather than a social one. Many people consider noisy eating to be bad manners but I don't think anyone considers typing to be rude!

Yes it's definitely not a manners thing, unless my extractor fan is behaving badly when it grates on me

I can tolerate it while in in the shower but as soon as I'm out it makes me want to scream. I'm in the process of having my bathroom rewired because currently I can't have the light on without the fan being on. It gets to me that much that I have to have it fixed.

I have a certain affinity to sounds that others find annoying though. I like listening to people typing for example and the sound of lawn mowers makes me fall asleep.

I think it's overall extreme sensitivity to sound.

DH has misophonia too - he struggles a lot when our parents come to stay as they're quite loud eaters as it is (or maybe I've just become more aware of it myself since living with him), I've tried to explain it to them but they still think he's rude when he often works late enough to just about miss dinner so he isn't "trapped" at the table, or when he gets up after eating to pack away dishes or make some other excuse to leave - he knows it's his issue so doesn't want to cause offence but it's hard to explain to others as they immediately get offended that you've called them a loud eater. So, instead, his actions that he makes to prevent the red mist descending, make him look rude and anti social.

He tends to be able to cope better when there's an out - in his own home he can find an excuse to leave or put music on. If he feels trapped it increases the rage and anxiety

I just want to point out that horrible, annoying sounds are not comparable to any kind of visual irritation. If looking at something is making you miserable, you can turn away or shut your eyes, but ears are always working (overtime for misophonia sufferers).

Ears can't be shut or directed towards something soothing.

I can't get away from my work colleague eating as she snacks all day. She has a myriad of food intolerances which means her coming to work with plastic pots full of gop. Without warning I will suddenly hear this weird slurping noise, I daren't look up as she will see my eyes have turned red and glow.

It's not just bad manners here either. As I said before I can but have any manual clocks in the house. Any repetitive noise is a trigger for me. Breathing and eating are the worst but there are lots of others.
Once I have noticed a trigger sound it becomes all I can hear, I really focus in on it and the rage starts.
Yes my children trigger me too. They eat nicely at dinner or lunch but I can't eat breakfast with them. They way they breath while eating makes me feel like taking their breakfast away and talking them off. I know it is me not them so we don't eat together. Luckily my job means they go to breakfast club most days.
I am that conscious of sounds that I won't eat certain foods in public either, apples and crisps in particular.

It's the slow deliberateness of it.
Where eating is concerned, some people would consider that to be a good thing.

It sounds like the woman's actions are at least as irritating to you as the noises she makes. It also sounds like you are intently observing her when she eats, which is not helping you.

Have you tried any strategies to avoid her eating time or distract yourself while she eats?

Another noise which is causing me real stress - my husband sucking the life out of an e- cigarette. If he'd smoked like that, a cig would've been gone in 2 drags. It's a horrible noise and he does it in the car. Can't drive for 20 mins without sucking on his dummy. I nearly cried on the last car journey of 45 mins but I just seethed instead.

It's not manners. It's the sound. I've had a diagnosis and therapy to try to find ways to manage!
I also have sharp pains if I see an injury on someone or I am told about it. this is a form or synaesthesia. I wouldn't be at all surprised if one day it is found that misophonia is the same sort of thing, or a sensory issue. There will be a reason for it, it just hasn't been found yet.

Sometimes people's wiring is faulty. It's not their fault, it's not their choice and it doesn't make them a horrible person to feel the way they feel.

If she went up to this woman and said or did anything, then that would be something to yell about, but the poor sod is just saying how she feels.

Also those that are question "have you self diagnosed"

I have had a doctors diagnosis and I am on the waiting list for CBT. However it is not exactly hard to realise you are suffering from it. If I self diagnosed hay fever, having suffered the symptoms on a high pollen day would you be so sceptical? If I self diagnosed thrush having suffered those symptoms, again would you be questioning it? Why is this so different? because the symptoms are mental and not physical does not make it any less valid a condition to suffer from.