To write to a death row inmate?

[FanfeckintasticFitbit]

This is something that's crossed my mind a bit in the past. I'm really interested in the lives of others and love books and documentaries about life behind bars.

I have a really happy and fulfilled life with DC and DP so it's not out of loneliness, I love to write but it's been years since I've written actual letters as everybody is online now.

Has anyone else ever written to someone in prison?

I've "chosen" a prisoner (because there are certain criminals I could absolutely not communicate with, child abusers etc) and have written a letter but I'd first like to get some experiences from anyone who has done similar?

In my personal opinion, robberies gone wrong and gang related crimes (while obviously absolutely awful) is more excusable to me than child abusers, rapists and serial killers. I'm just being honest here, so relax with the flaming and name calling.

"Mini Get your daughter a copy of Annabel Pitcher's Ketchup Clouds for an insight into life on death row"

She loves this book. I think it's what got her interested in writing to a death row prisoner.

"What would I do to stop my daughter writing to a prisoner on DR?! I'd have done what I've already done... Brought her up in such a way that it wouldn't even enter her head"

"FGS do your job as a parent. You sound so ineffectual and pathetic"

So what would you do?

How do you bring a child up to despise people in prison and to despise criminals?

I'm genuinely interested.

You sound like an absolutely bro;;oamt mother. You should come onto the teenage board on mumsnet sometimes and tell us all what to do, and give us a good scourging. There are loads of parents like myself there who have really struggled with our teens - you know, things like self-harming, school refusal, mental health problems. All sorts of really challenging problems. It might be useful to have someone come onto the board and criticise us as being weak and ineffectual, and show us how to put our children straight.

Your previous post includes assumptions, mrsdevere which isn't unusual - most people make assumptions, without realising, about this kind of subject because it's so far removed from their own experience. I'm not angry that no-one wrote to my loved one, of course, it's sad that there was no professional help made available before it was too late. People writing letters because they think it's a nice thing to do, or are curious, or because the person looked attractive? That's not something I would have much time for. Personally. Obviously others must do as they please.

Hey I've had all sorts of issues with my daughter. She's 16 and that's normal. Condoning the writing to a DR inmate is a new one on me though. You keep asking me what I'd do.. I've told you.. It wouldn't happen in the first place and it wouldn't happen because I've taught her that victims deserve compassion, not murderers. I don't think I'm perfect incidentally, that's not possible but come on... Stop justifying why you allow your child to do this. It's terrible parenting and if you've lost control of what your child does then just admit that instead of shrugging it all off

Mini- it took me a just few clicks to find out who your daughter is writing to.

It dies state quite clearly that you have to be 18 to correspond with an inmate. So, she would have to have lied about her age in the first place to get through the vetting process.

Did you see the news article about how the victim was shot ( arm and leg) while driving. Then after crashing, while crawling away from the car your daughters penpal got out of his car and shot him twice. The victim was young himself.

Maybe , let your daughter read the heart rending breaking words of the victim's parents.

That's how I would handle it as a parent of a teen.

"You don't have to support the death penalty or lack compassion to find those crimes abhorrent."

Some people genuinely believe that all of us are more as human beings than the sum of our worst and most unforgivable acts.

You know - love the sinner, hate the sin.

I don't think it's a particularly controversial stance - it's pretty standard Christianity.

Personally I would struggle to engage in a positive way with someone who had done something which had devastated the life of someone else. I did say to my dd that when she thinks of the prisoner she's writing to, she is only seeing part of the picture. The other part of the picture is a scene of dark devastation - of ruined lives and grief. Not just the victim and the victim's family, but the prisoner's family too.

The whole thing is very sad.

Apologies for the typos, after reading the articles and seeing the inmates "dating profile" I'm a bit annoyed...

Kua, she has read all the reports of the crime.

It is incredibly difficult bringing up teenagers, I would never want to be too judgemental about that, but I would be having a Long talk with my daughter ASAP if she were to be in a similar situation.

Mini, now that it seems she lied about her age as you need to be 18 to participate in this scheme, how will this proceed? Will she continue to write to him with your approval?

"Condoning the writing to a DR inmate is a new one on me though."

You have assumed I am condoning it.

I have said nothing of the sort.

You've just got self-righteous and judgemental because that's the way you roll.

I read the news reports of the crime and spoke to her about it. She has read the crime reports herself. I have asked her to think about what she is doing and why.

I'm just not sure what YOU think the moral issue is here?

I'd rather roll the way I do than the way you do. I don't this is the pinnacle of your parenting really. But as long as you're co for table with it < weird >

This "morbid interest" is being thrown around, what's wrong with being interested in things you do, how would it even occur to someone to get involved in something they have no interest in?
I have also mentioned quite a few times reasons why I feel it would be a nice thing to do.

mrsdevere if you read my last post to you it is very measured and I am not making you the target of my anger. You have misinterpreted my comments e.g. Most people have had little or no direct experience of this kind of thing. I didn't say you didn't. The assumption you are making (as I read it) is that people who write to prisoners do so out of compassion. Not all of them do. If they think they are doing it for these reasons, it may not be helpful, or healthy (for want of a better word).
I recount my experiences, by the way, because I think they are of relevance to this interesting debate. Families of those convicted of crimes don't have the opportunity to contribute to discussions often, in my experience. I didn't use the term brother, either.

How many people are on DR in the USA? I would guess they are flooded by women across the world wanting to reach out to them. Is it just those inmates that are sentenced to death that hold an interest? Surely these men see right through this outreach?

It's an interesting aspect that it tends to be woman writing to men, or so the reports seem to suggest (though I'm sure there are some female killers with men writing to them too.)

I wonder why women seem less inclined to write to women on death row? Is the prisoner you selected male, OP?

There is only one female prisoner listed on the site in question Crystal and she is not looking to write to anyone overseas but it was actually females I would be more interesting in writing to as I would imagine they get less mail, I could be wrong there though

mrsdevere your response is up to you, of course, I wasn't looking to cause offence and my posts are genuine, and (I don't think) rude. I don't understand the need for your last comment, as up until then you sounded quite reasonable to be honest. I think the debate has been interesting, actually, and it's an unusual topic, it's made me think a lot.