to think this is ridiculously grabby?

[queentroutoftrouts]

I have received a baby shower invitation via Facebook from an acquaintance and she has listed various requests including
please bring size 4 nappies and wipes
£10 cash or vouchers for next and mother care, NO PRESENTS PLEASE
£10 entry fee and at the bottom she has added 'men allowed'
Is this the done thing nowadays then or aibu to be shocked at how entitled she is being? Since when did you charge guests to attend your baby shower?
The size 4 nappies are presumably for her elder child unless she is giving birth to a giant.

Boffin Oh dear, I'm so broody that the 'dump' cake is just making me go "aww... ickle nappy!"

Please please OP can you report back what happens? Will be watching MN all day Saturday!

I'm a little wary of threads like these. I was thrown a baby shower by a friend, who asked me to make a 'wish list' on Amazon to send out - I had done one for myself anyway so just sent her that and said I didn't expect gifts etc and just wanted friends all together. I helped her book a local hall as didn't want her to foot the cost. Other than that I was in the dark. Had a lovely time with about 8 friends who go me things like muslins/nappies/bibs and then came on here to find an old school 'friend' who held a grudge had posted a fake thread with part of my list with other bits added on (very extravagant things that I wouldn't know what to do with let alone use) and kept the thread going for several months. She went so far as to say I had turned people away, made someone travel down from Scotland despite some illness, thown gifts in peoples faces, made a guest cry, had a second shower with even more grabby requests and posted things all over fb being ungrateful. Yes, I was 'babyzilla' as they dubbed me. Needless to say she wasn't even at the shower, didn't know anyone going and had no invitation perhaps that was why she was so bitter! I therefore don't like threads like this as sometimes it can be a nasty slanging match when actually all the mum wants is to celebrate their baby.
Yes an entry fee is unreasonable, but putting a wish list together can be quite normal, esp if you have many guests so that you aren't doubled up or opening 10 of the same thing for example (embarrassing for guests too).

Can you email her and ask what the dress code is and if you can get a discount on group admissions?

You didn't expect gifts; but made and sent an Amazon gift list for the sheer hell of it, Lion... Of course. Easy mistake to make.

oh god baby showers are beyond grabby

and the host in the OP well,. fucking hell, words actually fail me

my friends did me one as a surprise when I had my last baby

I was mortified tbh

My friend made an Amazon gift list so a few of us clubbed together to buy one of the expensive items and sent it directly to her. Was easier than carrying it on the train and meant we didn't need to get another present when baby was born.

Entry fee though is ridiculous because what are you getting for that? Love an afternoon tea baby shower but some are better priced than others.

I'd take £10 in copper and a pack of smart price nappies I've never had a baby shower or even been to one before, it's just not the 'done thing' around here

Lion... I take your point. But you made a wish list on Amaxon?!

I have also never had, or ever been to, a baby shower. And have never made myself a fecking "wish list."
I want an invitation to this one though, sounds like a cracking do.

To be fair....
I have about 5 wish lists on Amazon, partly for things I want, partly as an aide memoir.
I see no harm in having a wish list, mine runs from year to year and I update it and buy myself stuff from it when I have money

My family also like wish lists and buy from them a lot

I didn't have a baby shower for either of mine so for a,bargain £5 entry fee please do come round and bring £50 towards dd 1 uni fees and girls clothes in age 10-11 for Dd 2.

I'll put some sausage rolls in the oven and crack open the lambrini. :o

I did do a wish list - I have them for different family members and friends too. I like to be organised with present shopping and put things I may want at some point somewhere I won't forget. Also dd's dad was abroad a lot, his mum lived in NZ and his brothers all lived abroad and so he had asked me to put a pile of stuff on there that they could choose if they wanted to get something.

Just because it is on there doesn't mean you send it out to people begging! It's handy if people ask what you would like for b.day/Christmas and you don't remember or want them to be able to pick something you like but keep it a bit of a surprise. You can also allow for all budgets.

I don't think my having a wish list made me a fair target for months of trolling and bullying, but then some of you seem to have no issue with that part

Does it specify if the nappies have to be unused? If not, I can lob you over a wet size 4 and a soiled one and you can add a note 'Full of shit and taking the piss - just like you. Mwah!'

Lion, I've been asked "where is your wish list" for special occasions, so don't worry. (I use mine to remind me what to buy so it isn't a huge amount of use to anyone as I forget to check things off!) it sounds like you had nowt to do with the organisation of it anyway. I think a baby shower is a bit like a wedding anyway, you don't want 10 of the same gift.

AIUI, the mum here - already has a child, wonder if she had a do for the first one? - and she has put up the Facebook notice herself, specifying what she wants as well as the entry fee!! Totally different thing.

I think gift lists are very 'grabby' and presumptuous I didn't have one for my wedding and I hate receiving them in wedding invites. If people wish to buy a gift (which they are not obliged to do) then it's up to them how much they spend and where they shop is entirely up to them. Gift lists for baby showers are ridiculous IMO

Just to add... It's different if people ASK you what you would like as a gift. THEN it's ok to suggest an item within their budget you may need

????????????

lol that is hilarious, obviously it's a honour to be invited

Ugly - that's the answer!! Decline but say "I can't attend, but it was an HONOUR just to be invited" - like an Oscar nominee

It's lovely to have a catch-up/chat with your friends and get tips on birth/babies, have a few drinks/snacks/games - it doesn't have to be all about gifts but of course if friends bring them you wouldn't refuse them! But demanding certain things is uncouth and charging an entry fee is just unacceptable!!

I object in principle anyway. Buying a lovely gift for a brand new baby of one of your close friends is one of life's pleasures. Being invited to a party in order to take a requested (demanded?) gift is the absolute opposite.

Is this the same woman grabby cow who charged for her wedding on a previous thread about a year ago?

Shamelessly place marking!

What is this trend that everyone has to have a baby shower, I have had 5 children and not had a baby shower for one, I thought the norm was when you have had the baby friends and family come to visit and bring gifts if they wish....all weird to me.