AIBU to want to write a very strong worded letter of complaint to Mcdonalds?

[LookingforRainbows]

So this happened yesterday at a Mcdonalds in London:

We were in the queue buying lunch, and my dsis needed to use the toilet. She has a 'hidden' disability and requires the disabled toilet for her needs, but the disabled toilet was locked, fair enough, stop everyone from using it and protects it for people who need it, like my sister. So, dsis went to ask a member of staff if it could be opened for her.
Well, just our luck that she happened to ask a complete bitch. The staff member told my dsis that she could not use it as she wasn't disabled. Ok, fair enough she didn't know. So my sister then explained to her that she does have a disability but it's a 'hidden' disability, and she will need to use the disabled toilet because of it. The girl gave my sister a horrid look (which I saw and at this point I came over) and said, 'you don't have a disability, you look perfectly fine to me to use the toilets downstairs' Again, my sis explained that her disability is hidden, so you wouldn't 'see' it or realised it, but it still required her to use the disabled toilet. The girl then said, well if you can't see it, then it can't be that bad so you can use the toilets downstairs and in the time you have spent trying to get into this toilet you could have finished the queue for the downstairs toilets (!!!!!!!!!) my sister politely said, 'what do you class as a disability here?'. The staff replied, 'you have to be in a wheelchair, or have something wrong with your legs so you can't get down the stairs'.
My sister replied, 'well I think you need to go on some disability awareness training, because some people, like me, have disabilities that are nothing to do with their legs and still need to use the disabled toilet.' The girl then asked my sister very rudely, 'what is your disability then? Because I can't see anything wrong with you' (!!!!)
My sis did not want to publically announce her disability to the whole of Macdonalds, but the total irony was that we had just finished doing the London Walk for Crohn's and Colitis and we were still wearing our tshirts!! So my sister said, if you want to know my disability, look at my tshirt, we have just come back from doing a charity walk for my disability, yet here we are being discriminated against because of it! The girl said, 'I'm not discriminating against you I just don't understand why you can't use the toilets downstairs, otherwise everyone will want this toilet unlocked for them.

I could not believe my ears at the rudeness of this young lady. My sister was absolutely humiliated (we were in public) and she was looking at us like a piece of shit.

So we told her to get the manager.
She huffed rudely 'fine!'.
We stood waiting by the disabled toilet and people were looking at us.
When the manager arrived with her, she said to the manager (before either of us could speak) these people can't be bothered to queue for the toilets downstairs- and she is saying that she is disabled.
And at this point my sister interrupted, 'excuse me I can speak for myself thank you very much!' We then explained to the manager what had happened etc. the manager did not ask any awkward questions or give us any funny looks, he simply took the key and opened the door and smiled and said no problem.

He was then extremely apologetic, and asked if we wanted anything free, but we had already bought out meals and to be honest after this incident we didn't even want to eat our food as it had left a bad taste in our mouth. I did see the manager take the member if staff aside and talk to her, but it didn't seem like she was being reprimanded.

Anyways, even this morning, thinking about it has got me livid and worked up. The irony that even when you are wearing a tshirt for Crohn's, you can still get prejudice right in front of your face!!

My sister wants me to help her write a strongly worded letter, as I often write letters of complaint for my work and it's my forte, but DH says that because the manager was apologetic and offered us a free food (which we had declined) we have no leg to stand on and we should just leave it....

AIBU to still be livid?

Jellybean I have had that with a disabled loo and a mum wanting her baby. She was behind me and shouted 'I am next' and barged me out of the way. She then held the door for her friend so I told her I needed to change my bag and was quite happy to share! She still looked at me like I was a fraud!

I'm sure she'll be back to tell us anyway.

The fact that it is such an issue kinda emphasises my point. And no, I wouldn't expect us to demolish listed building just to rethink future facility construction/refurb.

I meant change her baby- my brains not working!

And no, I wouldn't expect us to demolish listed building just to rethink future facility construction/refurb.

A Grade II listed building is only the outside, you can knock down walls, put in electricity etc. Strange no one seems to have a problem with modern lighting and heating but not accessible toilets.

A hotel near me claims they can't have a steps free entrance because they are 'listed', but they built a modern extension and it has, wait for it, a ground floor fire exit with no steps!

A Grade II listed building is only the outside, you can knock down walls, put in electricity etc

I know. I used to spend my days drawing plans for architects. I was just responding to the ridiculous comment above.

MissDuke, it's fine. I really didn't know that it would be a disability, but in any event however it's termed disability/illness/disease/medical condition is irrelevant IMO, the lady needed it. And the ignorant member of staff in McDonallds should not ask/question/need to know the detail. Regardless of the law and all the rest of it people should just show some bloody compassion and consideration for others who need to use an accessible toilet and not question why.

I was just responding to the ridiculous comment above

Did you mean my comment? I assume so though you haven't said so. I think it would be difficult to make extensive internal changes in listed buildings with specific purposes, like theatres.

All disabled toilets in public buildings, or in companies sufficiently large to be required to have them, should have radar key access.
This should be mandatory for new builds, with existing facilities converted by a fixed date. "Listed buildings" seems an excuse, not a reason.

However, a big problem seems public attitudes and staff training as much as facilities.

I just don't understand interrogating somebody who requests access to a disabled loo, or giving them judgey looks.
Why would anyone risk humiliating a disabled person, in case they haven't earned the glorious "benefit" of access to a different loo. It's not like they can pull tenners off the loo roll.

Bodily privacy and dignity are basic human rights. Noone should be humiliated by nosy Toilet Police

Weebirdie

This is a discussion forum where people are allowed to ask questions. I didn't realise that I needed your permission to ask a question. I didn't think it was obvious from the OP that is why I asked.

Agreed BigChoc

All accessible toilets should have Radar keys whatever the age of the building. I'm just not sure it's practicable to make extensive alterations to some older buidings in order to create larger accessible toilets of everyone's use.

However, a big problem seems public attitudes and staff training as much as facilities

Exactly. We need to get over this "you don't look disabled" concept that so many still have.

*Weebirdie

This is a discussion forum where people are allowed to ask questions. I didn't realise that I needed your permission to ask a question. I didn't think it was obvious from the OP that is why I asked.*

Yes Im well aware of all that but sometimes certain things don't have to be asked.

not read everything but as far as im aware there is no such thing as a stupid question that need not be asked what is obvious to one person may not be to others (i might be wrong when my browser works i will rtft)

I think it would be difficult to make extensive internal changes in listed buildings with specific purposes, like theatres.

I know that. Hence stating that I wasn't recommending demolishing a listed building. I spent 24 years of my life in construction; I am well aware that it would be difficult to make extensive changes. I thought I was clear that I was talking about a complete overhaul of the public toilet design for future construction and potential refurb. Because it is a huge issue for lots of people. As demonstrated by this thread.

Definitely complain and suggest they need to reinforce equality and diversity and disability awareness training. As an aside dm has similar health problem and through her condition's organisation has a radar key and pass to show in such circumstances.

Doreen - as an ileostomist i'd say lots of us would not want to use a cubicle in a normal loo anyway - even 30% bigger.
size is not the issue, we need a private room with sink, and no-one in the next flimsy cubicle...
reason being as we have no colon our poo smell has not been filtered at all - it is very different to 'normal poo', and when using a normal cubicle attracts a lot of ' oh it stinks in here' comments.
it is very embarrassing - even in my own home i'm conscious of it, its the primary reason i choose to use a disabled loo when out and about.

I would Google, find the chief executive and write to them. If you are really annoyed, and you are quite right to be, it always pays to go to the top.
We do it and it always gets quick results.

I don't know why people have got side tracked into listed buildings, diets etc. There is only one point; your treatment was appalling and the manager needed to do more than offer free food - he needed to apologise profusely and assure you that staff would be properly trained in future.

I used to work in a pub and a cafe when I was a student; both had disabled toilets that required a key (it was a long time ago so hopefully they have the radar system now). WE opened the toilet for anyone who asked - very few people did. The hassle of getting a staff member, asking to use the loo and having them unlock it is greater than just walking up a flight of stairs and most people are reasonable decent people anyway.

I'd much rather the odd lazy bugger used the accessible toilet when they don't need to than every person who genuinely needs it gets an inquisition.

I have been out with my mother when we have had to request a key- and TwoOddSocks is quite right, it is always a hassle and not something you would bother doing if you could manage without.

A Grade II Listed Building is only the outside No it's not! It's the inside as well and demolishing walls will almost always require listed building consent. Without that you are potentially committing a criminal offence.

PS YANBU OP, complain, complain and complain some more!

Mamababa that is so true, people need to get used to referring to them as 'accessible' rather than disability really, don't they? I must admit I sometimes used it when dd was small as she would have a total meltdown when hand driers were used in public toilets, this was prior to her ASD diagnosis so I did always feel really bad about it. But really they should be for anyone who needs them, shouldn't they?

Doreen - as an ileostomist i'd say lots of us would not want to use a cubicle in a normal loo anyway - even 30% bigger.

That was just an EXAMPLE of an amendment that might help with many people leaving the more accessible loos more freed up for use by people who do need them.

We need to get over this "you don't look disabled" concept that so many still have.

this is so true. My friend's son has ASD, he is perfectly capable of using any loo, BUT he is terrified of hand dryers, so they always use the disabled loo.

It is appalling behaviour from the McD staff

No need for bracelets, you can get a Can't Wait card from Crohns and Colitis UK. I have a RADAR key and a card.