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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hen party snub

138 replies

Antonia87 · 20/06/2015 13:27

I am currently organising my Hen Do and really think it would be hilarious to hire a butler in the buff to serve drinks and organise games. However, one of my long time good friends has stated that she wont be coming if we do hire one as its tacky and against her principles. I was rather offended as I thought everyone would rather enjoy it and its not like hiring a stripper. I'm sure we will be more embarrassed than him!

OP posts:
throwingpebbles · 20/06/2015 15:48

I would probably bow out too. I'd find the idea grim and wouldn't imagine it an evening I would enjoy

I went to a university ball where they unexpectedly brought in male and female strippers and most of the girls basically disappeared to the other end of the room / left at that point t

Original poster
Antonia87 · 20/06/2015 15:49

Well, I am canvassing at the moment and considering a cocktail maker instead. Incidently, the girls I have spoken to seem to think its harmless fun . Of course its tacky, but I think in a Carry On way and so far most are not bothered. However, dont want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. With such a huge business market I am surprised how many of you feel so strongly about this!

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 20/06/2015 15:49

So Gem because the friend finds this distasteful she's boring?

Busybuzzybumblebee · 20/06/2015 15:53

Go for it, it's a bit of fun

Weebirdie · 20/06/2015 15:55

Feeling strongly?

No. I don't feel strongly about it.

It doesn't register any emotion with me.

I just know I'm not interested in it.

MrsV2012 · 20/06/2015 16:47

Each to their own, but I think I'd politely decline too...

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 20/06/2015 16:49

Cocktail maker = excellent plan. :)

mrsfuzzy · 20/06/2015 16:52

antonia as a matter of interest if your muckers think it's a bit of fun then go for it, but coming on aibu you didn't really think many posters would say it was a fab idea did you ? imo i think you making the change is a good idea, some of your friends might have said yes, it's harmless but quietly cringing that you'd consider it as they wouldn't want to be thought of as prudish [although what is wrong with saying you hate that sort of thing doesn't mean you should be called a prude and therefore insulted

Heels99 · 20/06/2015 16:53

I am not getting why it is hilarious to pay a man to bare their arse at you. It is like hiring a stripper, how does it differ?
I have been to a hen event where there was one. It wasn't hilarious. He was very efficient at serving food and drinks, tidying up etc but actually I would have preferred for him to be smartly dressed and for it to be a more sophisticated evening. He washed up and tidied away before he left, handy.

Heels99 · 20/06/2015 16:54

Cocktail maker is a better idea.

Viviennemary · 20/06/2015 16:58

Sounds awful and so tacky and silly. But I might have gone in my younger days if I was good friends with the person. I would have hated it. Like these dire Ann Summers parties.

MistressMerryWeather · 20/06/2015 17:06

I imagine it would be funny for about five minutes. After all the laughter dies down he's basically just a man standing about, holding a tray with his arse out. Sounds awkward.

What if he wanted to sit down? Shock I wouldn't want some random guys naked buttocks sprawled on my sofa.

HoldYerWhist · 20/06/2015 17:28

Friend is boring, Gem?

I wouldn't go either, I'm afraid.

I can think of little worse.

Pico2 · 20/06/2015 17:34

I think that if you've been to an event with a naked waiter and people seemed to like it, there may have been people there who didn't like it or found it tacky. People lie to smooth over social situations. I'd tell you it was a great party, but be wondering how a friend of mine could think it was a good idea.

flyingspaghettimonster · 20/06/2015 17:34

I wouldn't go either. But I'm not really a hen night sort of
Person - I think most of them are tacky and gross.

mrsfuzzy · 20/06/2015 17:37

sorry, hate the idea of a hairy arse in my face as the waiter walked by me and what if he farted ? god, i feel some what faint just thinking about it.

reni1 · 20/06/2015 17:51

Really thought everyone would think it was fun as another friend had one years ago and everyone seemed to enjoy it.

Everyone might have been polite. I have never left a hen party saying "Wow, that was excruciatingly embarrassing."

ThingummyJigg · 20/06/2015 17:56

Not my sort of thing at all BUT it's your hen do, not mine, so go for it.

Your friend is being a friendzilla.

Seriously, shame if it means she won't come but if the rest of you are up for it, and you want to hire a hairy arsed man in a pinny, why not?

Er, he will be in a pinny, right? He won't be swinging his todger around as he adjudicates music chairs? Oh God, what if wants to demonstrate Twister......

Wink
CSIJanner · 20/06/2015 17:57

How about a cocktail masterclass in the home instead? Alcohol, more fun and you will either end up knowing how to make a red hot Long Island, or you'll make a weird combination that will make people gag and laugh.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 20/06/2015 18:01

Its not my thing but I wouldn't feel strongly enough to snub a hen do. Cocktail making is great fun.

londonrach · 20/06/2015 18:02

Sorry id find that really strange and as a guest hate it. Mind you you the bride so your choice. Where would you look. Whats wrong with a meal out with your girlfriends?

Jomato · 20/06/2015 18:02

I've been to 3 butlers in the buff parties and I've never met anyone in rl who had an objection to it, you know your friends so are best able to know if it's a good idea. The last one I went to was a cocktail class with a butler.

TealFanClub · 20/06/2015 18:03

I am on team mate

TealFanClub · 20/06/2015 18:03

tbh i hate Hen dos

MrsTerryPratchett · 20/06/2015 18:04

I think paying people to be naked is weird. And awkward. Cocktail maker OTOH, count me in.